$30 wedding gift....

I think it does to an extent ... if they can only afford $30 then that's that . . I always say at least $100 minimum

Honestly, I don't think how much anyone else can afford/can't afford to gift concerns you at all. It's their business.

LOL, no, it doesn't matter. Unless your co-worker is somehow aware that you are being served Denny's for dinner at this wedding $30 is inappropriate if you live on a comfortable salary.

@ALC Yes that's what I think. I feel like it's almost a slap in the face! I think she's just one of those people that literally doesn't know wedding etiquette.

I want to be clear, because I know it may come up. I will be grateful for whatever gifts I may receive! But as a guest I try to at least cover my alcohol, assumed plate amount or both.

I had a coworker tell me one time that she gives $50 at weddings. She makes over 6 figures. I was shocked. I have never given less than $200 if attending as a couple of $100 if attending solo. $30 is crazy.

You give what you can give. You don't get to decide what people do with their money or how much they can afford based off what you think their income is. You have no idea what their lives are like or if they have mounds of debt.

Yeah it's none of my business but she willingly gave this info and my mouth dropped open.

The amount that she gives should have no impact on what you choose to give. I don't know why you would need to lower your gift just because she is giving less. Gifting is personal and I'm not sure why she felt the need to share that with you. There is no right or wrong amount.

@Lilly in this case I do know, but I won't get into that. I get what you're saying.

@Emily that was sarcasm lol. I'm still giving my same amount of $150.

Covering your plate is not an etiquette rule. People need to get rid of that ridiculous concept. A wedding invitation is not an invoice.

Based solely on the information you've given, your coworker sounds cheap. That said, there's a lot of information we don't have. If that's what she can afford, then that's what she can afford. The fact that she is spreading the amount she is giving makes it look like she thinks this is a good amount regardless of what she can afford, which is not standard wedding guest etiquette.

Her money, her decision. A gift is a gift and I don't think we should judge people especially since we have no idea what is going on in her life.

I think it's inappropriate to discuss these things with coworkers. Budgets are a personal thing. No, second marriage or not doesn't matter in my book.

ETA: it also seems like you were shaming her gift amount by saying you should reduce yours. That may not have been your intent, but that's how it reads.

@Lucille ah the beauty of the forums. I can post whatever's on my mind like everyone else does. Thanks for your opinion and that overuse of the word tacky lol. Seems to be a trend around here.

@willbe thank you for getting exactly what I'm saying. I don't think she knows wedding etiquette and it makes it seem like she thought it was a great gift.

Yeah @Emily I know that it's not etiquette to pay for your plate BUT atleast give what you would for a fancy date night with unlimited drinks.

This post really rubs me the wrong way. $30 to her may mean more than $150 to you. WW has consistently said you should give what you can afford, and maybe that's what this woman is doing.

And you can say whatever you want, but what if someone on here can only afford to give $30 or even less? I'm guessing your post would be really upsetting to read.

@MrsD17 again she was a friend before a coworker that's why I guess she discussed it. I did not discuss my amount but was being sarcastic, I'm not lowering my gift. Shaming? No. Maybe having her think about it? Sure.

This post is so judgmental

I understand sarcasm quite well, thank you. It still seems like you're shaming your "friend" which is not cool at all.

For those "rubbed the wrong way" please see my actual question. I literally don't know if people change or "lower" their gift amount because it's a second marriage?

People bring it up all the time. For example, we had a shower at work and eveyones like "why, it's a second marriage." I never thought this way and think everyone deserves to be happy so that's what I wasn't aware of. Thanks to those who answered that question!

I guess I should have left all the background out!