3 months salary for engagement ring???

The "rule" comes from an ad that originally appeared in 1940s. It's really just a marketing trick, although a very successful one. it has absolutely nothing to do with any sort of tradition.

If DH had spent 3 months salary on a ring, I would have smacked him silly! Then made him take it back. Mine was $1500 and it was a steal of a deal! I love it!

Heck no! Well ok let me rephrase it depends on how much 3 months salary is! Because when FH purposed with my 1800 ring that was probably about 5 months salary at his part time job.. BUT he got it with a credit card and finished paying it off about 9 months after we got engaged, and after he got a much better paying full time job.

I'm sure it depends on that salary, but even still, that's a really silly rule! do what works best for your particular situation :]

I had a post about this before too. My FH INSISTED that he needed to spend a lot of money on the ring when I just simply thought it was unnecessary. I'll first say THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with spending that much money on something IF YOU HAVE IT. OR if he wants to spend the time of saving that much money to do so, there really isn't anything wrong with it. You can spend 200$ or 10000 on a ring. No matter the price, it'll be just as special to you. If this wont financially burden you or him in any way than let him spend what he wants BTW FH did as he pleased and spent a good amount on my ring and he tells me that he's happy he bought me something that he FELT he could be proud of. Even though, 8,000 cheaper and I would have been just as happy. Its all about preference IMO

Yeah.....3 months salary comes from DeBeers. As does the tradition of giving diamonds in the first place.

Your FH should spend whatever he/you want to spend. Whatever is truly affordable for your budget, and whatever you feel comfortable with, is 100% fine, whether that's $50 or $50,000.

IDK about that one.

I found a ring that I loved that was $3000 and he refuses to look at it because it doesn't cost enough so the diamond can't be up to his standards. Goodness...I am so afraid of losing the darn thing. I am horrible at keeping jewelry.

He went with the three month salary! We are older now and I am wiser!!! This ring is to show you his love for you and that you mean so much to him. It is nice when he wants to show you that you are worth it! Trust me, there will be plenty of time to be careful with your money.

I got so disgusted with the "rule" that one must have a diamond engagement ring at all, much less that it should cost three times salary, that I decided not to have a wedding ring. The plain gold band I now wear has all the symbolism I need, without the fear of someone hurting me trying to get a valuable ring.

@sandra p.: By your logic, shouldn't you need to save up and buy a ring to impress him? Why does this go only one way?

Love it Sandra...he loves what you had to say! We are going to a diamond broker tomorrow to look at diamond. We are going to find the diamond then place it in a ring.

2d Bride that is what I said to him...Then I need to save 3 months salary to buy him a ring. He laughed at me because I am a stay at home mom to our son so I don't work so he said what $0 LOL!

My FH wanted me to post this...he says that even though I don't work and I stay home and take care of our 2 kids what I do for our family has no price tag and the least I can do is buy me a diamond which value never decreases to show me just a 10th of my everyday.

Rebecca when you visit the diamond broker, remember that you can negotiate with them. FH negotiated when he bought my diamond. The rock came first, the setting came second. Enjoy your visit there. FH went shopping alone b/c my ring was a surprise, but I so enjoyed learning about the diamond and the cutting process when I went back for my appraisal.

Also - I never wore major jewelry before either, and I even lost a few pieces of jewelry when I was younger. So I was paranoid about wearing my e-ring. But I haven't had a single issue. You get used to it and you figure out your own routine of how you wear it, if/when you take it off, etc.

Sandra I don't like your logic. FH bought me a pretty decent-sized expensive rock, but by no means was it 3 months of his salary. I don't feel like he loves me any less or that I mean any less to him than you do to your FH. And I feel plenty old and wise, just FTR.

Absolutely not. .. my ring is significantly LESS than 3 months salary but anything more i'd consider obnoxious. you have to thing about what the realistic budget is and consider what sort of wedding you want because your e-ring is part of that ... if you spent three months on your e ring when you couldve done 1... thats 2 months salary lost from your wedding budget...

Yeah, he totally doesn't have to do that.

It's really just a ploy for jewelry stores to make more money off of you. It's more important to get a ring that suits you. One that you'll be proud to show off and won't make you feel uncomfortable to wear.

The ring is just a symbol, that kind of money could go toward something that is important to both of you.....like your future together.

To me, it was much more important that he asked me to marry him. Making that commitment to me means so much more than how much my engagement ring cost. I didn't care how big or small the ring was - the fact that he wants to spend the rest of his life me with means everything. FH got me a beautiful ring that is simple, elegant, and was affordable. I would have kicked his butt if he told me he spent 3 months salary on my ring!!

OK, so if all that is true, why not 6 months? Why not an annual salary? Am I ONLY worth a 3 month salary? And what on earth does the cost of the ring have to do with how much anybody loves anybody?

Oh wait, but that's also from De Beers commercial when they say something along the lines of "It's a lifetime commitment, do you think a 2 month salary is good enough?"

I just hate to think how unfortunately successful de Beers is.

I have never been one that has to have the best of the best. My FH has been married four times. He has NEVER bought one of them a ring. He has always gotten one from his mother to give to them. I told him when we was first dating.. If we ever fall in love and want to get married you will have to go out, really look for that special ring and pay for it. It didn't care how much he paid for it. Just that he took the time to think about it, go look for that perfect ring and purchase it. When he gave me my "first" ring. It was a promise ring. He dropped it 2x's before giving it to me because he was so nervous. It was worth a million dollars to me after that.

What a topic. I agree with the majority here. I think he should spend what he can afford. My brother's wife convinced him that he had to send 3 months' salary on her engagement ring, and he's still in debt because of it. He simply couldn't afford to spend that much. It wouldn't have meant he loved her any less if he had spent less money.