2021 Wedding Blues.... Traditional vs. City Hall

Aw man! That sucks. Definitely something he should have voiced sooner. Can you get your deposits back? If you can’t, Would you consider still using your vendors and having a smaller (less expensive) wedding? If you can get ur money back plan for the day to still be special by wearing your dress, using your bouquet, etc. and Include family and friends in your city hall wedding followed by a really nice dinner. It’s not about how big it is it’s about how special this is for you and him.

If this COVID mess continues into the Fall, then we’ll do an intimate ceremony on our same wedding date with just him and I. Then the celebration reception can happen at a later date.


I do understand your FH’s point about not inviting guests who you don’t talk to. That was a big deal for us and we only wanted our close circles in attendance and didn’t invite and “just because” guests. We’re only having 65 guests and it’s perfect!

View Quoted Comment Perla u are so RIGHT!! my dress is BOMB honey lol I will post it so u can see it along with my colors..... as well after reading your message I got more clarification from him so his thing was he doesnt want anyone there who dont fully support our union..... his family will say one thing but really feel another way and he also dont want ppl inviting themselves if they dont get an invite so to stop all that he opted for city hall ..... also he feels cost wise it was a little on the finance part but it's how he feels about his people

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That's what I wanted was ONLY 65 ppl altogether and that snowball lol at this point if i only have a few ppl there that rock with me i am cool i have been thinking about ALL the brides who I met on here including you sexypoodle lol who wedding were 2020 weddings and how things have just turned upside down for yall.... with losing lives and canceling weddings and the hassle with venues and catering companies closed for business etc I have NOT paid any deposits for my wedding not even my dress because I didnt know how my world was going to turn n now I see how things are going and I am glad I wasnt in a hurry to RUSH 08/21/2021 I still have 500 days before I say " I Do" I will probably go with something smaller than what I thought because he right alot of ppl dont check on us day 2 day even before this all happened we talk and reach out to family and friends alike of course but he wants it small and I can do small ....... knowing me lol i can make it fabulous with even a lesser budget lol i am taking it 1 day at a time in quarantine with him n my son since they have closed ALL schools for the rest of the year in Arizona where I reside and learning to work from home lol

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Yas girl! Your vision is beautiful, and big or small its gonna be awesome. I feel the same way your FH does. I consider those people that don't ck on us on a regular basis as "fillers" or "extra" and do you really wanna pay for them? Even if feelings get hurt, it'll be for a minute, they will eventually get over it. Its about you guys and what you want and are comfortable with. So do you girlie! Best of luck.

This is so superficial, but I'd be way more likely to do a city hall/courthouse wedding if the venue itself was really beautiful. Some towns have absolutely gorgeous historical buildings with amazing architecture, and I'd really love beautiful photos of my wedding regardless of whether it was a traditional event with lots of guests or something more private and casual. Another thing to consider is whether you can do a city hall/courthouse wedding at a time that is convenient for you and any guests you may want to invite. At least in smaller towns/cities, these places often are not open on the weekend, and getting married mid-week has both advantages and disadvantages so you need to decide what works for you.

We planned a 60-80 person event for May 30th of this year and will likely have to change those plans due to Covid-19. Even before then, we considered doing our legal marriage in city hall so we didn't need to have a "legal" officiant and could choose whoever we wanted to perform our ceremony. Unfortunately our city hall is only open mid-week (so we couldn't get married and have our wedding on the same date) and is just a brick building with a bunch of beige painted rooms inside, so it's pretty sad looking.

Being someone who is on the verge of losing $5k worth of deposits and not having the "traditional" wedding celebration we planned for anymore, I now wish we had never planned the whole thing and just had settled for something simple from the start. If you are planning an event for anytime within the next couple of years, you should be aware that it may be a while before we know how Covid-19 will play out, and its possible that guests won't want to or be able to come to your wedding, so right now it may be a lot easier to plan, predict, and adapt a smaller wedding as opposed to a larger one.

I think it's important to remember that the wedding is for and about both of you. It may take some compromise, but in the end the event should reflect what you both want and be something you are both happy with. Good luck!

I completely understand. We got engaged Jan 1st and by Jan 29th we were meeting with my godmother who is a planner. I always knew exactly how I wanted my wedding, but 2 weeks after that he asked how bad did I want this big (150 ppl) wedding bc he could not imagine paying so much money for everyone else when we don’t even talk to them much. Just like your fiancé, mine would rather spend the money on us and planned to purchase properties this year. I was hurt, but I also understood so we came to the agreement on a Paris elopement with a $10K budget.


He gave me 2 options, waiting until 2022 to have the extravagant wedding or getting married next year wherever I want. I chose the latter bc I thought it would be silly of me to put our vows on hold for everyone else.
It’s still your day! It can be as fab as you want it to be. Good luck!

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Perla thank you!! After talking to him last night I feel better and he is willing to compromise but after this Covid-19 I dont think gathering will be the same after this. He wants me to be able to enjoy the day as well and I wanted something with my parents and a few siblings ( there is alot of us)

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I agree. We are only having 50 guest. Small and intimate. I'm excited for it just nervous about how long this pandemic will last. I still need to pick a venue

View Quoted Comment Congrats!! I am as well I had picked a venue etc I had not put down deposits but with brides pushing back dates to 2021 you might wanna nail down a list for when things open up. I have just been informed the stay at home in Chicago has been extended to May 19th , so I cant fly home to do cake tasting / nor meet with our caterer for our tasting n my engagement photos due to this virus ...... so with everyone having to push things back it's making it hard for all brides to enjoy their day n go dress shopping or anything related so good luck I am afraid of my prep time being shorten more than the virus lasting til Aug 2021 for me

View Quoted Comment You still have a nice chunk of time. So I’m sure you’ll be fine. 😉

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Definitely agree with you. I'm happy that I don't have a date mind just season so it's all depending on the venue. I have a crazy excel sheet with a list of venue. I plan on getting to my top 10 venue. Once the stay at home order is lifted, I will visit all of them. I started working on my photographer today.

View Quoted Comment Yes that's good ! I wanted to fly home (Chicago) because I live in Arizona n visit some of these venues n not just trust the pics I have. Also to visit family but this covid-19 cut that real short. I have only been in contact with my caterer and I have NOT lost my spot!! Yay so my people still have food just have to connect with the other vendors as well. Just taking this experience 1 day at a time