IvyAndKris
Super October 2019

2 Brides-no Wedding Party

IvyAndKris, on July 18, 2019 at 9:06 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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My FW and I have decided not to have bridesmaids. We each have an adult son, hers will walk her down the aisle, mine will walk me, and both will stand as our best men. We love this idea and it allows our closest friends the chance to enjoy the day without having to focus on outfits we choose, or making it feel like we're ignoring a friend we're close to. I don't regret our decision for a moment but now I'm realizing that I am going to miss out on having company while I get ready, someone to calm me when my nerves are frazzled or help me with my hair and dress. We will see each other that morning but will get ready separately so we can do a first look with our photographer, and our boys won't be much help helping me get ready. Is it bad that I just want a bit of femme time? I'm tempted to ask a friend or two to arrive early, but don't know if that would be a burden to them or if they could. Has anyone else dealt with this?

15 Comments

  • Melle
    Master June 2019
    Melle ·
    I think that's totally ok to have friends to get ready with. In fact you can make it a whole thing like breakfast together or something. I'm sure they wouldn't mind hanging out with you
  • Tonia
    Expert October 2019
    Tonia ·

    I love the idea of your sons' walking you both down the aisle. There is nothing wrong with asking your friend's to help you. I've seen many women on here who don't have a bridal party but will have friends helping them get ready. I'm sure your friends will be more than ready to help you.

  • Alli
    Devoted May 2020
    Alli ·

    I think the idea of your sons walking you both is beautiful. And I definitely think you should ask your friends to help you get ready! Surely they are adult enough to understand why the aren't a BM and would love to help you on your day!

  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    You could definitely do a femme brunch time before then all get ready together. And brunch doesn't have to be crazy you can do little pastries.
    It sounds like a beautiful idea to have your sons walk you both.
  • Kristen
    Savvy June 2020
    Kristen ·

    I think its perfectly fine to ask a friend to help you get ready and i'm sure a good friend would love to do that with you!

  • Alicia
    Rockstar August 2019
    Alicia ·

    I don't think it's bad at all to want a little girl time while you're ready! I also see no issue in asking a few close friends to hang out with you/help you get ready. I think that's a great idea!!

  • Laura
    Devoted January 2020
    Laura ·
    I’m having a very small bridal party because I have so many friends and family. What I’m doing is having a few family friends join us in the getting ready time too, so they can be a part of the day and the pictures.
    I say go for it! It doesn’t hurt to ask. Honestly, they will be so honored that you asked!
  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    I think it’s totally fine to ask a friend to get ready with you. If you’re hiring a professional HMUA and it’s within your budget, maybe you could treat your friend to those services as well.
  • Jenna
    Super October 2019
    Jenna ·

    I think the idea with both of your sons is really sweet. I see nothing wrong with asking a friend or two to get ready with you! As PP mentioned, if it's in the budget, it might be nice to treat them to hair and/or make up and I would have brunch/lunch there for both of you. Sounds like it would be really fun and like a good friend would love that idea!

  • IvyAndKris
    Super October 2019
    IvyAndKris ·

    Thank you everyone! I'm not hiring a professional for hair and make-up but I will definitely invite a close friend to enjoy the day and she can help with those things as well. I'm thinking of grabbing champagne and extra food for us to enjoy while we get as girlie as possible!!! After reading all your comments I can't believe I was concerned about asking. I just hate asking people to go out of their way.

  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    Love that idea! I didn’t have a bridal party but my mom and sister got ready with me. We skipped matching robes but enjoyed champagne, a light lunch, and laughter while getting ready.
  • Jeanie
    Expert February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    We aren’t doing a bridal party either. My son, who will be 12, will walk me down the isle and stand with me. Even though I have no bridesmaids, my mom and sisters will still want to get ready with me, as will my two best friends (who have dubbed themselves my unofficial bridesmaids). You can still do the girl time getting ready. Not having a bridal party doesn’t mean you don’t have women in your life that want to be there for you. Think of who you want there and ask if they would like to get ready with you. I’m sure they would be honored!
  • IvyAndKris
    Super October 2019
    IvyAndKris ·

    My biological mom will not be there, her mom passed away. My step-mom will be there and while she would love to enjoy time with me, she gets overwhelmed by a lot of people so I really want her and my dad to have plenty of time to relax before the ceremony. We are not asking them to do anything for that reason. My sister and two oldest nieces can't make it because the younger one is having her first baby around that time and they live out of state. We set our date before she got pregnant. I guess I just assumed I wouldn't have any women there for all that since most of the women in my family can't be there in person. I felt weird asking friends to show up just to watch me freak out and tie up my corset back dress!

  • IvyAndKris
    Super October 2019
    IvyAndKris ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Is it bad that I still want a robe to walk around the master room in? It has a balcony overlooking the beach that will be our venue and I am literally dreaming of standing there on my wedding day enjoying the last moments before I get to celebrate! I don't even recognize myself right now. haha

  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Oh gosh, not at all! I bought one for myself. I was just stressing over the "Pinterest perfect" bridal party getting ready moments and was going to buy robes for me, my mom and sister but between going waaaaaay over budget and so much DIY stress, I skipped 'em. I still LOVE my terry robe from Macy's that I wore while getting ready:

    Betsy Johnson robe from Macy's (but 2017)2 Brides-no Wedding Party 1

    Ha ha ha! You're so cute! I remember going crazy "bridal girlie" over wedding invites. I didn't even think I cared about invites but I obsessed over the designs and almost cried when I got the sample in person. Overlooking the beach in your robe sounds heavenly! Do it. Those small moments are incredibly memorable.

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