11 days b4 i do and had to let go a bridesmaid

This is why I'm having no bridal party, besides the point of me not having any friends lol.
Good luck

I understand where everyone is coming from saying that if you require hair and makeup to get done professionally you shouldn’t require them to pay for it, HOWEVER: you were upfront about that expense from the beginning. If she wasn’t prepared to pay for it she should have mentioned that months ago instead of causing you this added stress days before your wedding. She probably doesn’t want to pay for the hair and makeup now because she has to pay so much extra for her alterations, but that’s her own problem she had enough time to try on dresses and figure out her size. It was really careless of her. All that being said how you handle this will affect your friendship. I think people are missing the point it’s not about the hair and makeup it’s about her not caring about her responsibilities for your wedding day. It’s completely up to you, but if you kick her out it will most likely end your friendship.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for reading what I said from the beginning! This isn’t about the look at all this is about her total disregard of what I’ve asked for from the beginning! This wasn’t I knew expense I’ve added at the last minute! Brides get so much black lash from this forum when they go against “the rules” when it should’ve never been any! Yes this may put a strain on our relationship but we’ll work it out! Thanks for u understanding

View Quoted Comment I know plenty of women that paid to get their hair and makeup done for a wedding when they were in the bridal party. I’m planning on paying for my girls but that is because it’s my gift to them. My cousin already told me don’t you dare that’s ridiculous we can pay for our own. Everyone on here seems to forget the little troubles they had dealing with everyone’s personalities and if they haven’t had issues yet I’m sure they will, though I wish everyone’s wedding to be drama free! You can just talk to her and say straight up, “look. You’ve been disregarding everything I’ve asked you to do for this wedding. When you’re asked to be a bridesmaid, you know that comes with certain responsibilities, which I laid out for you from the beginning. It’s really unfair that you’re trying to get out of it because of your own mistake.” She has the option to back out. Hang in there! Everything will work out for the best

I remember my issues.

I remember being stressed when none of my bridesmaids picked their dress until two months before and then they all had to order ones they didn’t want because of the timeline. I remember my one bridesmaid who didn’t order a dress until three weeks before. I remember being unbelievably frustrated with her and the advice that if she didn’t get the dress, she just wouldn’t stand up with us. I remember being disappointed that even though I had been involved and engaged in my friend’s weddings, none of them seemed interested in mine.

BUT I also remember recalling why I picked the girls I did and considering how much I valued those relationships. I remember realizing (admittedly mostly the day after my wedding) that what those girls did, wore, did not do, did not matter because now I was married.

Your wedding day is ONE DAY. It is one very stressful day. It is a day around which people tend to act nutty... but at the end of the day it is one day. Don’t ruin life long friendships over someone’s hair style on one day. That is the message from people who have been there and have also had those stressors.

Doing her hair and makeup herself should not be grounds for dropping her from the wedding. Brides can suggest what they want, but cannot control the way bridesmaids wear their hair or makeup or jewelry ( as long as not bizarre, bicycle chain in hair weird.). But anything of the general level of formality is fine. How they alter their body and personal looks is their right, their body, not bride's. Proper manners, bride may dictate dress, not personal grooming , not updos, not men's facial hair, not requiring any makeup, or how it is applied. To drop her because YOU have crossed the lines of good manners in trying to control hair and makeup services she does not want, is not nice.

I don't think saying you were upfront with the cost, told them your expectations, or that they agreed beforehand is reason enough to be upset at them or remove them from the bridal party. These are the people that you care the most about and can't imagine not having at the wedding. I can't imagine circumstances changing making it so they can't afford the cost of something nonessential (hair and makeup isn't essential to being a bridesmaid and none of your guests will even notice) would be enough to negate the fact that you want them standing beside you on your wedding day.

What if something major came up last minute? Your bridesmaids shouldn't have to disclose their finances and I would never question why they suddenly couldn't afford something that is traditionally a brides expense if it is required. It's one thing to expect a bridesmaid to have a dress, it's another to require hair and makeup at their cost when it could be done by the bridesmaid at a significantly lower cost.

View Quoted Comment Well I hope you do work it out. I hope she is that great of a person.

Ladies listen and this will be my post on the matter! This isn’t about her not paying what we agreed to in the beginning! This is about her not being responsible waiting to the last minute to do what she want! You can say it’s my responsibility as a bride to pay and you can have that rule at YOUR wedding which was not one of mines! Yes for her lack of effort I told her to step down! If I told my bridesmaids to wear white and she waits to the last Minute and say I can’t wear it I’ll wear black will u be ok with that NO! It’s not ok with me! If it was one of my best friend then I would have made it possible and help her out! This was someone that I didn’t want to feel
left out and she shows no effort to be apart of my wedding so I let her go! I’m a easy going person and you really have to push my buttons! All my other BMs said I should’ve been let her go! But I tried to keep the peace but this was my final straw! Have a blessed day ladies 9 days left til my wedding

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Oh sweetie you're the reason the bridezilla stereotype exists. Get off your high horse. Having financial difficulties is not a slight against you. Honestly this girl just dodged a bullet and is way better off without having such an entitled person as their "friend". Yikes.

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I was not talking to you. Look at who I quoted.

View Quoted Comment I don’t blame you at all for asking her to step down. Don’t listen to these brides on this forum who want you to sympathize with your bridesmaid who was inconsiderate when they can’t even sympathize with you in this moment in the midst of stressful wedding planning and penny pinching to make your day a success! This is the one day you have to choose what’s best for you and you are not bridezilla for cutting loose ends!

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much I can’t believe that brides on here are so critical! You can’t do or say nothing without someone jumping down ur throat because “rules” are not followed! But I have spoken with her and we will remain friends! Thanks again