What is this stereotype about bridesmaids spending a lot on a wedding?

I told my girls to pick whatever dress they wanted so long as it was in my color and was floor length. They were dresses starting at $49. I found out from one girl she spent $200. But what they spent was their choice. I told them to accessorize whatever way they wanted, do their hair the way they wanted, and wear whatever shoes they wanted. They are from out of state, so they will have travel costs, but I've offered to let them stay at our house so they don't have to pay for a hotel. I'm trying to do everything I can to keep their costs low.

I was MOH in a wedding last year. Dress was $200 (brides wedding dress was $250 so I was a little peeved) shoes were $80, gloves I had, pillbox hat I made with existing supplies but priced at $300+ online. Hair was $60 for an up do (that was cancelled due to a national disaster the hair lady couldn't make it). Trip and hotel to event in Colorado $600. It adds up fast.

My FH went to a wedding with his ex that when all was said and done they spent over $5000 not including the gift that he says they were obligated to give. Maybe its me but I would have said your gift is the $5k I spent to be here with you...

That being said I would feel bad to ask my bridal party to spend that kind of money. I want to find bridal party dresses that are under $100...

You're being a VERY nice bride. I've definitely spent $1000 in a wedding. I think the expensive I've spent included...

- dress

- shoes

- hotel (2 nights)

- hair/make-up

- bridal shower

- gifts

- and possibly some other expenses I can't think of right now.

I think the cost of being in a wedding gets jacked up when the wedding is out of town. Travel costs and hotel costs can add up, especially since the bridal party is required to be there usually the night before also.

Mine paid $130 for the dress and $175 for hair/makeup if they chose (I didn't force them to do it, and one didn't partake). They were invited to my bachelorette party, which cost $35 a piece (it was a tea party).

I bought their shoes and paid for the hotel room the night before, as well as food and drink (with the help of my sister and a friend).

I did not expect them to throw a shower.

I think the standard of being expected to spend a ton is insane.

Im trying to keep things as cheap as possible. $120 for dress. I will pay for accessories. Hopefully get a friend to do hair and makeup at mates rates. 2 of them do have to fly to get to the wedding (one is on the other side of the world too), but I dont account this as a bridesmaid cost as they would be paying that as a guest anyway. So trying to keep all other costs to a minimum.

It's expensive. It's not a stereotype; there is a dress, shoes, bachelorette party,shower, gifts, travel. It would be great if weren't expectations, but like everything else in the bridal world, the details and dollars have gotten out of control.

It's expensive. It's not a stereotype; there is a dress, shoes, bachelorette party,shower, gifts, travel. It would be great if weren't expectations, but like everything else in the bridal world, the details and dollars have gotten out of control.

I feel bad if my bridesmaids spend that much too! I let them pick their own dresses which range from 120 to 220 bucks. I don't want a bridal shower...but one of my bridesmaids moms is throwing it.

I told them I don't care what shoes or accessories they wear (just gold) and I don't care if they choose to get their makeup or hair done...hopefully I will pay for one or the other though!

They are coming from out of town though, which will probably be their greatest expense, but hopefully they share rooms and can split costs which I'm sure they will since all of them are either family or close friends that have other family members invited!

I don't want to be a financial burden on my bridesmaids!

Well I spent close to $1000 as MOH as I stated above. That doesn't include the trip I made to help her plan and pick out her dress otherwise add another $500 to that cost. However I didn't consider it a burden. I was thrilled I could and would have done so again. The other MOH didnt have to travel or pay for a hotel so she covered the shower and the bachelorette party was cancelled due to weather. (We were in the boulder co region last year for the flooding. Her venue was underwater the day of the wedding and everything was changed)

Those aren't expectations for my wedding. My MOH is sick, I told her that her priority should be getting better and she doesn't have money to spend anyway. MOH suggested a while back that the 5 of us go to a theme park for the weekend but since that includes hotels, gas, park entrance fees, food, drinks, I decided to scratch the plans and just save the money. People can definitely do things within a decent price range. Just about everything that my girls are doing, they would have done if they were regular guests except maybe the younger BM wouldn't have spent $100 on a dress (we looked at the cheaper ones together but they liked the $100 more because of better quality and better fit).

Yup--in every wedding I stood up in, I've spent at least $1,000. Expenses varied, but it was generally a dress ($200), alterations because apparently BM dresses are not made for small boobs/big hips ($50), shoes ($80), bachelorette party ($300-$500), hair/makeup ($150), gifts ($200) & hotel room ($200). That's not even counting travel for the bachelorette parties & the wedding. I've been an out of town BM twice and it adds up FAST.

I plan on trying to keep costs as low as possible for my girls. I'm going to let them pick their own dresses (even though I want peach, and that's going to be hard to find, so I might need to rethink the color) & shoes and I'll request a low-key bachelorette party. I'd love to pay for my BM's hair, but I don't know if I'll be able to work it out. My girls are spread all over the country, so they all have to travel, so I feel bad for that.

Celia brings up an interesting point. Whose expectations have gotten to that point? And why/how?

I didn't watch any of those bridal reality shows, didn't pour over bridal magazines and websites prior to getting engaged, so I personally didn't have any of those crazy expectations.

I can't imagine asking someone to pay $300-$500 for a bachelorette party!

Yes, being in weddings is expensive, but that's the commitment you make when you agree to be in one. I spent close to $1000 for the last one I was in, but I knew what I was getting myself into and I wouldn't have passed it up no matter the cost.

My girls are spending $200 on dress and shoes. I think ball park for bachlorette is $60 each? I dont know what they are spending on the bridal shower. So we'll call it $400?

Dress is $200. That is all I am asking. I wanted to give them money towards their dress but some feedback I got is to give them a visa gift card they can use for shoes or hair or what ever.I spent over $1000 for my cousin's wedding but I also co-hosted his shower.

My girls are spending 150 on dress, whatever on nude shoes if they don't already have that.... I don't know what will be planned for bachelorette party, and I'm not expecting a bridal shower.... so maybe like..... 200? 250ish including travel? I dunno, it seems silly for something to be so expensive, although it's an honour to be a bridesmaid it seems ridiculous for it to be that expensive.

Now you have me wondering how much my girls are spending.

Their dress was $150, plus whatever alterations are needed. I told them to just wear whatever shoes they feel comfortable in, and I will provide jewelry. Bachelorette party was just dinner and drinks at my Mohs house, then out to the bar, that was definitely less than $100 total. Unfortunately the wedding is in CT, so all of my BMs are out of town... Anywhere from a 2 hour drive to 8 hour drive (not including my MOH who is flying in from Grenada in the Caribbean where she is going to school), but I picked a fairly cheap hotel, and I know most of the, are sharing a room with each other. Hair and makeup (which are optional) are cheap- $70 if you want both, and I have made it clear that them being in the wedding is gift enough, and it don't expect a gift from them (who knows if they will actually do that or not).

Yikes.. You're right, being in a wedding is expensive, and I like to think I have been fairly reasonable.

Wow....I can't imagine. My girls won't have to spend more than a quarter of 1k, much less because I'm sure two of them won't have to go to a hair salon and can problem do their own nails and makeup. I know they don't have it so if I don't get a gift or if I get a hand made one, I would be grateful. I'm not expecting a $100 gift from each of them. That's crazy. I definitely have a different perspective.

My bridesmaids will be spending a total of $35 for their shoes and whatever their alterations for their dress will be. My mom bought their dresses ( little black dress that can be re-worn), my sister is paying for their hair and make-up to be done, I paid for hand made jewelry. I never had a bridal shower, didnt want one, so no obligation to get me a gift. For my bach. party my sis gave my MOH money for me for the spa bc she didnt want the other bridesmaids to have to worry about it.

I spent over $1000 to be the MOH at my BFs wedding . . airfare, hotel, gifts,dress, shoes, alterations, hair, nails, not to mention the trip out before that to meet her FH and part of the bridal party. Of course for mine, her family of 4 is driving 13 hours, her dress, shoes, her two boys' tuxes (ringbearers), we're putting her up for the weekend, I think she's doing her own hair/makeup, shoes etc. so it could be close. (All her choice. She wanted her boys in the wedding, and we offered to let her buy/rent the tuxes somewhere else if they were similiar to the the rented ones, and she even had the option to come by herself and we would do with out ringbearers). My sister on the other hand has her dress, alterations, shoes, she's having hair and make up done (her choice) and gift hopefully, her son is one of my ushers so his tux. There's no talk of a bach party or shower for them to worry about. Totally different situations. I can see how it could be expensive and I can see how it could be just a few hundred $$.