What is this stereotype about bridesmaids spending a lot on a wedding?

The only reason my girls are spending more than $200 is because they need to fly to me. They can choose any knee length, darker red dress, and anything else is fine. I'm giving them our house to stay while they're here (no hotel or car rentals), I'm flying to them for my bachelorette party, and I'm not asking them to come to my bridal shower in town. If I could have bought their plane tickets, I would have. I'm very money conscience and I hate asking people to spend money on me, so I'm doing everything I can to lessen the financial burden on them.

I'm in the same boat.

The dress I picked was $210, and I felt HORRIBLE for asking them to spend that much money. To make up for it I'm paying for their hair, makeup and jewelry for the wedding day. For shoes I told them to find something silver (so it's up to them if they want to spend money or wear something if they have it).

Probably no bach. party and no shower for me. They all live in town so they don't have to pay for travel.

... Now that I think about it, it was only the $210 dress that they had to spend money on. And maybe shoes if they needed a silver pair. I think that's pretty reasonable.

I'm really laid back too. Dress will be $100 or under, they can pick their own shoes (in a certain color), and their own jewelry. Two out of three will be OOT by the time of the wesding, and all are mom's of multiple kids. I wanted to keep it as low cost ad possible. I'm probably also helping to cover some of the costs of the shower and Bach party (not traditional but I don't want to put my girls out). I know what's going on in detail in each of their lives and I'm not stressing on much with them.

ETA: My MOH said I'm "the coolest bride ever" a few weeks ago when we were talking about attire, etc...

I don't want my maid of honor to spend a lot of money. The dress we found is just over $100. She asked what kind of shoe I want her to wear and even asked if I want her to grow her hair out to have it up. I want her to be comfortable and I want her there for who she is, that's what is most important to me. I don't want a shower or a bachelorette party. I will pay for her accessories and she will be staying at our house the night before the wedding and the night of because she lives over an our away. I only have one bridesmaid and she is my FH's teenage daughter, so we'll be paying for everything for her.

Most of my bridesmaids haven't spent a dime. I picked out a $25 dress that needs no alterations. Only one girl ended up actually buying their dress. The others I picked them up from the store and they never payed me back. Told them they can wear whatever black shoes they want. As far as I know they are doing their own hair and makeup. My cousin(one of my bridesmaids) is doing mine and offered to help the other girls if they needed it. Most likely my bach party will be us just going out for dinner which none of them are required to do.

Yeah mine were asked to spend $60 on their skirt and that was IT. Had one drop out because "I didn't realize you're wedding was going to be so expensive"

@Megan I had 2 bridesmaid drop out because of money. One said I was going to pick out a dress that was too expensive(even though I hadn't even looked yet). Which I said if she could only afford a little bit I'd pay for half. She said it wasn't about her not affording it. It was the predicable of her never spending over $30 even for a fancy dress. So I just let her walk. My 2nd walker was trying to plan this big bach party that was going to be very expensive and expected me to pay for it. When I told her I couldn't afford that she got upset and quit. She was much more into parting and telling everyone that I had asked her to be a bridesmaid then actually being there for me.

I guess I can speak from both sides right now...

As a bride: It is a DW and my girls are responsible for the accommodations, though I will be helping as much as I can. When it comes to their dresses, I don't care if it is a $30 dress, as long as it is the correct length, color and fabric I am happy. No showers or bachelorette, just 1 night with them at our destination that I plan on hosting and paying for. As far as flowers, etc, I will be buying those.

As a MOH: It is a DW as well and I have to spend at least $1,000 for my accommodations, flight, etc. I will have a dress to buy, accommodations for bride and helping out with the BM's (the bride lives out of state, the bm's in another city so we will be paying for all of us to stay somewhere), a bridal shower, a bachelorette party and who knows what else. I know this is going to be expensive, possibly costing a good fraction of my wedding itself.

Iʻm spending $1400 to be in a friendʻs wedding in 2wks

airfare: $850

car: $150

dress: $100

shoes: $50

Bachelorette Party (spa day and dinner): $200-ish

Wedding Gift: $120

It's expensive even when you have the nicest, most-laid back bride ever.

I was a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding on May 31st. The wedding was in the town I live in, so I didn't have any travel expenses. The bride let us pick out our own dress (within the parameters of long, chiffon, and purple).

Between hosting a lingerie shower ($300), buying my dress ($200), two shower gifts ($100), and the wedding gift ($100), and paying for my food and drinks at the bachelorette party ($50)....that's $750. Many people have to add travel expenses on top of that.

I didn't even prescribe the dress. We had only one female attendant and one male attendant, so we didn't worry about anyone matching. Our MOH (my daughter) had a MOH dress she'd worn for a different wedding, so we told her to just go ahead and wear that one. Our dude of honor (my son) owned one suit, and said he could wear either the blue tie or the red tie with it. In deference to the fact that the MOH's dress was burgundy, we told my son to wear the blue tie.

We didn't want a shower. Both attendants lived out of town, so we didn't expect a bachelorette. (We actually ended up with two joint bachelorette parties, but they were given by friends not in the wedding party.) We provided accommodations and food for all our guests (including our attendants) from the night before the wedding to the morning after the wedding. Our attendants' only expense was transportation to the wedding location.

I'm trying to minimize the amount that all my girls are spending on my wedding. Most of them are my recent college graduate friends, and many of them don't have a job and are strapped for cash.

I bought all of their dresses, and told them to wear whatever shoes they already have (though we agreed that they'd all wear the same color shoes). My sister is my MOH, and my mother already told her that she'd help fund the bridal shower/bachelorette party. I'm not requiring them to stay in a hotel and get their hair/makeup professionally done, but that's their choice if they want to.

I think my situation's a weird one, because the consultant at David's Bridal said she's never seen anyone pay for all of the bridesmaids' dresses before.

My girls are spending $114 for their dresses, $125 for accommodations - which includes 2 nights and 5 meals (we're paying majority of those costs).

And whatever they have decided on for shower/Bach. I'm guessing those will be maybe $150 total. Mostly my MOH paying for both. Though really the travel costs don't count (semi DW) because those are costs they'd incur as guests too.

So...maybe $175 per girl? $300 total if you include accommodations.

That's less than I spent on the dress in the last wedding I was in. That wedding easily cost me $1500-$2000. Hair, nails, make up, trials, dress, shoes, Bach out of town (that I ended up paying for solely even though I didn't technically throw it!)

I was happy to do it, but with us planning our wedding on short notice there was no way I could ask my girls to spend much, and even the $175+ Inn costs bothers me, but they've all assured me they don't mind (I also have them options for accommodations if they didn't want to pay to stay with us, but they all do!)

The costs as a bridesmaid can add up easily, some you may not think of and other you may not require. Last time I was int he bridal party it ran me about $1,000 and we definitely didn't do anything crazy. Here's how it can add up (sadly, it's often invisible to the bride, and if she hasn't been in a wedding party before she *may* not realize):

- dress (ranges, average seems to be ~$60-$300. The last dress I bought was $320.

- hair (~$80)

- hosting bachelorette party. We had a one-day in town but I still paid for her mani-pedi at a nice salon ($150), food, drinks and decor for the start of the bachelorette at her sisters house before we went out (~$250-300).

- picked up her tab when we went out (not huge, but easily $50-100).

- make-up cost ($50-100 usually)

- shoes if needed ($5-150, total range here)

- (sometimes taking time off work, but let's not factor that in)

- bridal shower decorations, invites, food, favours ($50-150, let's say).

- gas driving around to appointments with the bride or helping her the days leading up to and after

- bridal shower gift

- wedding gift

.... You can see how it can easily add up, even if you aren't asking much from them.

My girls dress was $246 (they picked the dress and had to each pay a $50 rush fee since they ordered the dresses late), they only each chipped in $75 each for my bridal shower, their makeup would cost $40 (they aren't obligated to get it done, but want to). They are all local. With their shoes, jewerly, alterations and whatever they decide to do for my bachelorette (asked them for a beach bachelorette party w/ no alcohol) the total cost would prbly be $500, if that.

I couldn't imagine to ask them to spend $1000 bc I wouldn't want to spend that much. I think the issue is ppl associate "nice" with being expensive and that isn't always the case. Sometimes you can fine the same item for a cheaper price at a different store, it just takes you taking out the time to look for it.

I dont understand it either, my bridesmaids arent spending a penny.. I paid for everything

I've definitely spent over $1000 on several weddings I was a BM. Once you factor in dress, alterations, shoes, hair, accessories, travel, hotel, bachelorette party, lingerie shower, bridal shower, gift, that can add up quickly!

I didn't want my BMs to feel burdened, so all I asked from them was to buy a DB dress ranging from $99-$159 (their choice). I did not require them to come to any of my showers or bachelorette party. I rented a large home, so they didn't have to get a hotel. They still had to pay for travel, but I tried to keep that a minimum. I would say my MOH spent the most around $700 with dress, plane ticket and she gave me a VERY nice gift.

My BM's are my younger sisters. I paid for their dresses and jewelry and will be paying for their hair and nails. We had planned a weekend away using some of my rewards point and discounts I get before I got engaged, so we are doing that for the Bachelorette. They have to pay for their shoes and my Mom is paying for their rooms.

When I was a bridesmaid we selected dresses from David's bridal without even knowing the cost -- they ended up being $250. Plus she required black satin shoes that we could pick, but I didn't have any satin ones so I had to pay another $100. I had to travel 2.5 hours each way 3 times (shower, bachelorette, and wedding), which costed probably at least $200 in gas. This was already $550, and it doesn't even include bachelorette, shower, and wedding gifts. Luckily I did not have to pay for a hotel or it would have easily been over $1000.

For my bridesmaids: I picked all in-town ladies. I paid $60 for each of their dresses and they paid about $75. I require "black" shoes of any fabric or style as long as they look ok with the dresses. They've decided to host a shower & bachelorette -- the shower is at my house since we don't really have any other locations that work. I told them I didn't necessarily want either of these events, but they really wanted to plan them.

I hate having the girls spend a lot of money as well!! 2 of my girls are single mom's, 1 is getting married in May & the other isn't good with money. The girls paid for their dress ($150), shoes ($20), &their hair & make up if want ($45) along with nails if they want them done $60 at most). They split the cost of the bridal shower which was about,($110 a person), & are paying their way for the bachelorette party (wine tour for $80, dinner and a night out dancing/drinking) . I bought their jewelry!!