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Rebecca
Devoted April 2012

Thoughts on a stripper for bachelorette party

Rebecca, on February 7, 2012 at 9:02 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 30

A few months ago, my sister said something about getting a stripper for my party and I wasn't to keen on the idea. I specifically told her I didn't want one and just yesterday, I find out she actually reserved one and is asking for all the girls to chip in. I'm a little irritated since she's not doing it for me, she's doing it for her and I don't know how to bring it up to her since I already made my thoughts on the matter fairly clear. Plus, she's a pretty dramatic person, and now she is a month pregnant which is exagerating how emotional she is. Is anyone else doing the stripper thing and if so, should I just give up and hope for the best or should I let her know that I'm not happy? And fyi, I only found out because 3 out of the 6 bridesmaids don't want to pay for the stripper, so I'm not the only one who isn't very happy with this situation.

30 Comments

Latest activity by Rebecca, on February 8, 2012 at 9:24 AM
  • Kimberly S  ( formerly Kimberly L )
    Master June 2012
    Kimberly S ( formerly Kimberly L ) ·
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    You have a right to be upset if you specifically told her you didnt want one. It is not tasteful to me, but that is just my opinion.

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  • Kimi K
    Master February 2012
    Kimi K ·
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    If your sister is dead set on getting a stripper - she should be footing the bill. This needs to be discussed with her regardless of how emotional she is.

    If she's willing to foot the bill and she wants dancing weiner in her face all night then just leave or go into another room when he shows up.

    Pick your battles. This shouldn't be one of them.

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  • EdieKristen
    Master March 2013
    EdieKristen ·
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    I'm with Kimi. Especially if your bridesmaids aren't wanting to chip in- if she wants it so bad, it should be her sole responsibility. The other girls shouldn't have to pay for something you don't even want. Then if she goes through with it, you four can just go elsewhere and laugh about how lame it is.

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  • MELN
    Expert July 2012
    MELN ·
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    A good friend of mine had a Bachelorette party, with a stripper… It was a little disturbing, not something I would ever want to see again. Anyway, I agree with the Ladies, pick your battles. Obviously this is something that she really wants regardless of your feelings. I’d tell her one last time about your feelings and leave it at that. If she wants to continue with it, so be it, just go do your own thing.

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  • Caroline
    Super September 2016
    Caroline ·
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    I would say if you have 3 out of 6 not wanting it - they are totally allowed to say - "I'm pretty sure Rebecca didn't want a stripper and I will not spend my money on it"

    That takes you out of the fight and makes your feelings known to all the ladies.

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  • Rebecca
    Devoted April 2012
    Rebecca ·
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    I just sent her a fb message and I told her, if it is something she really wants, I'm not going to start an argument over it, but I did tell her that if someone doesn't want it and doesn't want to pay, don't try to make them. Thanks for the advice. It is just frustrating that she is doing this.

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  • A
    Devoted December 2012
    Anonymous ·
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    Personally strippers creep me out.

    If you don't want one and half your bridesmaids don't want one I think you should make it clear.

    You should have fun at ur bachelorette and not feel uncomfortable because of some mostly naked guy...

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  • Alina
    VIP August 2012
    Alina ·
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    Well personally, this is one battle I would pick! I think it's completely disrespectful for her to get a stripper against your wishes. My BM wants to get a stripper for me but I told her under no circumstances....she finally agreed. She realized how upset I would be if she actually did that.

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  • Pan
    Master March 2012
    Pan ·
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    ^Agree with Alina. Totally not my cup of tea, and they all know it. I've made it clear no strippers and no penis decorations. I don't understand why a bachelorette party seems to equal an excuse to not be a lady. I would pick that fight.

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  • Rebecca
    Devoted April 2012
    Rebecca ·
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    Alina & Pan X, that is exactly how I feel. I specifically told them I don't want anything "penis" at the party. I'm not 21 or 22 anymore (I'm 26) and I have definitly grown out of that phase. I wanted to do something with a little more class, ie. wine tour, spa day...something like that. She got married in June and she lives in Colorado. About 2 weeks before her wedding, she said she wanted a stripper and no one had the money or time to throw that together, not to mention our one cousin would've been very uncomfortable. So I think this is her way of still getting her stripper. She is definitly not thinking of me by doing this.

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  • Alina
    VIP August 2012
    Alina ·
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    How frustrating. Tell her to go to the strip clubs on her own time! I hope it all works out Smiley smile

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  • Jessica H
    VIP August 2012
    Jessica H ·
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    I told my MOH no strippers, luckily she agrees...im not a big fan of strippers. We are having a Pure Romance(toy) party and then going to a few bars....

    You have a right to be upset because you specifically asked for NO strippers

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  • Rebecca
    Devoted April 2012
    Rebecca ·
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    Jess, I've been to a pure romance party. Those are fun. I'm still waiting to see if she answers my fb message. If not, I'll see her in two weeks for the bridal shower. Maybe I'll have someone bring it up to get all the bridesmaids opinions

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  • Lindy
    Super April 2012
    Lindy ·
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    I also told my MOH no strippers.

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  • Mouche
    Master October 2012
    Mouche ·
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    This is one battle I would pick too, my 31 year old daughter teases me that she is going to get me a stripper for my BP, But I said NO WAY under no circumstances. I would be really upset if you did. Now that the BP with be in Cancun Mx, I feel a little safer that she would not try it. But I understand how you feel, a half naked sweaty stranger just doesn't do it for me. LOL!!!

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  • krisalicious
    Master April 2012
    krisalicious ·
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    Personally, I find the idea of male strippers kind of gross. I've been to a couple of b-parties with male strippers, and I still somehow feel like they're having more fun than me.

    I would only pick this battle if you feel VERY strongly about it. I definitely think she can't be asking others to chip in. That's just bad manners.

    If she insists on the stripper against your wishes and you feel strongly about it, decline the party. That's really all you can do.

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  • Jessica
    VIP March 2012
    Jessica ·
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    If you don't want a stripper you don't have to deal with it. This is YOUR party. If your uncomfortable with it she should respect that.

    Talk to her about it and explain to her how you feel, she should understand.

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  • Rebecca
    Devoted April 2012
    Rebecca ·
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    Jessica, you would think she would understand, but my sister is a very stubborn person and I can think of two seperate occasions when I said I didn't want a stripper.

    Kris, she has no idea what good manners are. When she joined the Army a few years ago, it's like they wiped that part of her memory clean. She acts like a completely different person. I don't think I'm going to stomp my feet throw a fit because of a stripper, but she definitly knows that I am in no way, interested in this.

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  • Stevie Rae
    VIP July 2011
    Stevie Rae ·
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    Make your sister pay for the stripper if She wants it, if she doesn't pay then no stripper!

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  • Jamila
    Devoted July 2012
    Jamila ·
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    Im pretty certain I will have at least one stripper but I think they are planning on two. I personally find them quite hilarious...I guess I have a bizarre sense of humor...but I do agree if you don't want them then thats your personal preference and if its going to stop you from enjoying your bachelorette party then that is a battle worth fightin IMO.

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