pot luck wedding

This is another one of those touchy subjects. If the wedding was just with immediate family and friends and no other extensions, low key wedding, probably during the day, etc. And if you run it by those who would be participating and they seem to be ok with it, then fine. But personally, and HONESTLY if I was just friends with the bride and groom and I find out I have to buy you a gift (whether it be a casserole or muffin tin) AND make something for to feed YOUR guests, I'd be peeved.

I think this is a cute idea for a shower, but not a wedding.

I feel like the whole point of a reception is to thank people for coming to your wedding and celebrating with you by giving them a meal. That's almost like asking someone to pay for their own food. Maybe it's something that's done in your area, it wouldn't go over so well in mine.

That being said, if you have friends and family that would be okay with it then go for it. "Please join the couple after their ceremony for a pot luck style reception. Each couple (or guest) is encouraged to bring a covered dish along with the recipe so Elizabeth & FH can make at a later date and enjoy"... something like that maybe?

Wait...she didn't ask us if we thought it was a good idea...she asked how to word it on her invitations.

But I have no idea....LOL

I agree, this is something I would only do if it was real immediate family and you spoke to them about it and they know you are short on cash and dont mind doing it then go ahead. I like what Jenn said! Other than that, I dont think this would be a great idea. People might think why are they having a wedding and asking us to bring food to it?

**popping popcorn for this convo now***

If it is literally your very most immediate family - not a large wedding with outside guests... MAYBE that would work for them...

but honestly, a bride and groom should be hosting their guests - not expecting them to go buy some houseware item... then go buy all the ingredients... then find the time to cook something and THEN bring it to a wedding to feed strangers.

personally i think it is asking WAY too much of your guests - not to mention the logistics... how will everything be kept hot / cold during all of this? what ab out all the serving pieces? are the guests supposed to buy those too? who is going to have the task of coordinating all the items to ensure you don't end up with 47 vegetable side dishes and nothing else? and dont even get me started on the liabilities and ramifications of food poisoning.

if you cannot afford to provide for your guests, i would say take another look at the guest list and / or change your plans so that you can provide for everyone.

Diane! You are 100% correct and for that I apologize.

Still - I would only ask immediate family and if they had any hesitations, I'd drop the subject with them.

If you really wanted to ask everyone you're inviting (then that's a lot of casserole dishes) then Jen's wording sounds fine. But then I'd worry about if everyone bought the same dish...I'd add your contact info to confirm what they're making then.

Please please please do not make your guest bring a dish to your wedding reception it's just tacky all the way around. I know you didn't ask for our opinions, but seriously don't do this. A co-worker of mine received and invite to a wedding asking their guest to bring a dish to pass and we joked about it for a while (oh and this was her cousin)

There are so many other ways to cut costs down without doing this.

I don't have any way to word this, that it doesn't come off as tacky.

We considered this briefly when we first got engaged (wedding at time was going to be super intimate and in my parents backyard). A former WW bride put this on her invite:

"A light potluck dinner and dancing will follow"

This is from her website:

"We believe that nothing is more beautiful or significant than when a community comes together with the sharing of food. Our reception will feature a cold potluck meal of heavy appetizers, lovingly created by our local friends and family members. If you are contributing a dish, we would love to have the recipe so that we can continue sharing this tradition at other gatherings in our future. You may write your recipe on an index card and place it in a basket at the reception. We understand the difficulty that long distance travel makes for out of town guests wishing to participate in the potluck and wish to assure our out of town guests that a contribution is not asked of you. We will be supplementing the potluck with you in mind."

. . . just saw your edited / added info.

this kind of information would not be printed on the invitation itself. this would be better suited for an insert, with information also provided on your wedding website, and word of mouth.

i think you could make it kind of fun with the working... maybe a poem or something? baAAHaHhaaa... oh boy - i was like, "what rhymes with LUCK?" and my first few options were NOT wedding appropriate. ;o)

I've been to a wedding like this before (as a date). It was really mostly close family & friends, very laid back & lots of fun...barn dance, lake swimming, bonfire. It felt like everything from your favorite summer night memories. And everyone brought the recipe for what they made instead of having a guest book.

Are you having a lot of people? Are they all close relatives / friends or people you know will particiapte? Will you be preparing food in the event that they don't?

I like Jen's suggested wording. Wish I had more answers than questions for you!

Just so i dont have to keep editing the post lol

out budget is $1000

my dress is being ordered online,pretty much everything is being ordered online....and from like lightinthebox and dhgate so everything's cheap

the most expensive thing is the ceremony space which is roughly going to be $300-$350

Here's another example

http://www.lymburslip.com/2012/09/jenaya-luke-potluck-wedding-reception.html

Careful wiht light in the box it's a Chinese knockoff website.

I REALLY think it depends on your community. I know there are some things that are A-OK for the small town community FH grew up in that are just not the norm for where I grew up (and vice versa).

In reply to biscuit

its only going to be about 40-45 people,and just my aunts/uncles/cousins and my parents,and his aunts/uncles/cousins and parents,and our 2 year old. and i was planning to make something (probably the cake) but i havent really figured that out yet

If money is the issue, you don't have to have a meal for your reception. You could have deserts!!

Eh...No way to word it just means there is no way it should happen.

My family is extremely close and while I know I could ask them to make food, I still wouldn't.

It's not cute and it's not safe. Get married at the courthouse, have a small lunch for you closest family and cut the cake. But don't ask people to bring food to your reception.

Celia,i dont know if you noticed but my date is on a sunday and courthouses arent open on sundays,not being rude just pointing something out