MY Husbands ENTIRE family left our wedding reception EARLY!!!!

You can't teach class. At least you have the cream of the crop from that family.

Congrats on your wedding. We'll all give them the 'raspberry' for you

When he confronted his mother about it, she just gave excuse after excuse saying that she was in pain and needed to go home and that everyone waited SO long for us to be announced at the reception (they waited 45 min and during that time cocktail hour was going on) that everyone was tired of sitting around. Not once did she apologize for anything and she even had the nerve to say that people did not give gifts because they already gave me a bridal shower gift.

My husband and I are so beyond mad at them and we have both decided to cut them out of our lives (at least for now) and only focus on each other and positive people in our lives.

I don't know if this is all making sense and please feel free to ask questions as I'm leaving a lot of details out but I just wanted some input to find out if anyone else has been in a similar situation and what you did or what you recommend doing. Thanks in advance.

Oops, accidentally made a double of the same post

Oh no! Im sorry but rest assured im sitting here giving his family the finger lol that is just rude. Groomzilla is right with everything he said.

Thanks for the support guys! I'm trying to not take it personally but I can't help it. I've been nothing but nice to his family and even if they don't like me, how could they do this to my husband??? I feel just awful for him.

People have told me that cutting them out of our life is extreme and unnecessary but I truly feel it is not good for either of us or our marriage to let them continue to be a part of our lives.

The worst part is, they don't think they did anything wrong. They think WE are in the wrong

Oh my goodness!!

Sounds like you found a diamond in the rough with him. I'm so sorry that they treated you so horribly. But I think you're doing the right thing. Focus on each other, and let them be terrible people without you.

I hope they learn to become better people in the future and that you can someday have a relationship with them. But if not, it's their problem, not yours. Don't let them get you down.

/hugs

Wow, sounds like his mom is/was pretty enmeshed with him and never even gave you a chance. You have every right to be pissed..Also imo the mother of the groom at a wedding, leaving early sends a very clear message. Let alone the whole side of his family..I can see why you were mortified :-( Do you live in the same city as her? I guess I would let DH handle it, but try to be the bigger person and kill her with kindness so to speak. I'd at least give it a bit more time to think about whether you really want to cut them out of your lives..did you tell them that? If so how did that go down? I guess if you cut them out, that should be DH's decision and hopefully he was the one to suggest that in the first place, not you. Being in the middle in this type of situation I would imagine is a very hard place to be and a potential strain down the road in your marriage..Good luck! :-)

It's hard to have to cut off family. But poisonous people will do nothing for you and your marriage but try to end it. Hard as it is, I don't think you're wrong. Be open to reconciliation, but don't let them marr the beautiful thing you two have created together. Does your hubby agree with you about this? That would be my only concern

Gamer, yes my husband is NOTHING like anyone in his family. I can't even comprehend how he is related to them. He is the kindest and most caring man I've ever met. Which is another reason it pains me so much that this is happening to him.

While it hurt me that they left early, MY whole family and all my friends were there until the very end so the wedding was fantastic for me. But I know how mortified my husband was and that makes me feel upset too.

Maybe one day they will come to their senses and apologize and we can move on, but for now, I agree with my husband that we should separate ourselves from them.

Omg! I am going thru the same thing with his mom. Is he the only child? We are having a small wedding in two weeks & nobody from his side will be invited (his choice). So when we have our big wedding I am sure his mom will leave too or won't show up. You can't allow their ignorance invade your life. This life is about you & him only. Congrats & good luck.

Ab Z.---Yes, we all live in the same city. And it was my husband's idea actually to cut them out. I wasn't against it by any means, but he was literally the one who said "they betrayed me and I will not continue any relationship with them and they will never know their grandchildren."

I thought that was a bit extreme but it's still so fresh so he's very emotionally unstable about the whole situation. I think with time we might get back on speaking terms but there is no way we're going to jump back into a close relationship with them.

I hate that we're dealing with this, it seems so unfair. Sorry, not trying to have a pity party and not trying to sound conceited but no one has ever really truly disliked me. I mean this is the first experience I've had with people not liking me and I feel like I don't know how to handle it

Ugh

Sorry that happened. Your H's feelings must be really hurt.

The thing that REALLY sucks is you know there's never going to be a satisfying resolution about it. If your H brings it up, he's going to get the "What's the big deal/what's your problem?" response. Different situation, but we had a few sour grapes at our wedding too. We both just have to come to terms with whatever happened, adjust our expectations or attitude toward people as needed, and move along. It's easier said than done, for sure.

You're right to focus on the positive, and not to let a bushel of bad apples ruin the memory of your day. The people who WERE there happily celebrating with you won't judge you for what happened. They'll judge your ILs. But not as a reflection of you or your H. In fact, they'll probably think even higher of you both for handling the situation graciously, as I'm sure you did.

Your pictures are so pretty BTW!!!

Yolanda, I'm sorry to hear that

I sometimes wonder why his family even bothered coming to the wedding since they hate me so much. Maybe to send a message? Who knows. I wish I could stop obsessing.

Well, like you said, the wound is still raw. In time, you'll get over it, but it's ok to feel hurt right now. Just do your best to focus on the positive and you'll get through this.

Giving you the biggest hugs I can!

Thank you Gamer!

And congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!!

WOW I am sorry for his family & for the crap they put you through .. You are definitely doing a right thing & taking a step back now & just focusing on 2 of you & your new marriage .. Enjoy each other & dont pay any attention to them.. They will eventually learn ...

I've never dealt with this with family, only friends, but others I know have faced this with family. In all cases I've seen, if the other family members can't show the couple the respect they deserve, then the couple has let them know that this behavior will not be tolerated and as long as these people are disrespectful, they are not welcome in the couple's house. If they begin to show respect, they start going to family functions, and once they feel comfortable with the others they allow them to visit again.

For my friends, if I felt they disrespected me I just made no effort to stay in touch. If they came to me and were acting respectful again, I did talk to them. I have had some friendships lost and some rekindled once the other person came around.

That is awful. I totally understand why you were mortified, and I can imagine your H must have been more than that. But also as Groomzilla said, you can't teach class.

Time helps, for sure, but I'm not sure how much. Our best man and his wife left our wedding right after cake cutting. We had a few more very tense conversations with them after that, but then my H decided to stop all communication with them. And it's been a year. How's your H doing? After all, it's all his family.

But I've got another bone to pick with you. What's the deal with all your post wedding threads having all these disclaimers? You look fat, you don't know if anyone is reading... What's up with that? Where is the thread saying you had a great time, or did I just miss it?

Also, it's normal you're obsessing over it at this point. It's going to take you some time to come to terms with it, especially because they don't see anything wrong with their behavior.

But your main challenge is being supportive of your H, whatever he decides, and dealing with your own emotions at the same time. Those two can create quite a conflict. Try to take a high road as much as you can. His mom may come to her senses when she realizes she alienated her boy.

Sigh (putting on riot gear) I think you're overreacting.

1. Old people leave early (and by old I mean anyone over 40 generally when it comes to events)

2. You said no one congratulated you. . .did you greet personally or do a receiving line (because it sounds like you didn't and if you didn't you kind of snubbed them)

3. You are not entitled to gifts. If they gave you a shower gift, yes, that is your gift. (etiquette dictates that only 1 gift is necessary.)

and yes, I am entirely aware of how unpopular an opinion I am expressing.