Destination weddings - what was your "invite yield"?

Date Twin hi again. My cousin is a travel agent in Texas who specializes in DW specifically in Mexico. I dnt know you or your family or where many of guest will be coming from. If you invite 300 ppl I would still only expect the 50 guaranteed guest. Your wedding is a year away EVERYONE will say their coming until its time to pay.

We are having a DW in Key West . We invited 120 ...45 are coming. A lot of family and friends were excited at first and said they were coming but in the end only immediate family and really close friends spent the $. I pretty much figured that would be the case when it came to the budget .i wouldn't trim the list if I were you . I had so many people blatantly ask to be invited ( I wouldn't have normally) and NONE of them are coming ...so ridiculous

Though I didn't have a destination wedding exactly, most everyone on my guest list would have had to travel a long distance since I live far away from everyone. some had moved out of the country!

I wanted a small semi private wedding with cake and drink, so size was never really a big issue.

in your case you may need to do it in waves as you put it. or B list as others put it.

you can't invite more people then possible!

I know the idea of B list sounds mean to some, but I think more that have had a wedding or helped plan understand that we all have a limit and can't invite everyone. so if your sorority sisters from college can't be on the A list, sometimes you just can't help it!

I only invited maybe 30 people and most of them I didn't expect to show, though I would have loved for them all to be there, so that's why I invited them. we had about 10 I think.

as for what did we do with a unclear number- when I booked the chapel I booked it for 2-5 pm, set the wedding for 3. did so with the idea that if we decided we wanted to serve a meal, we would book the chapel for a earlier starting time and have a before wedding meal. in the end we decided to leave the chapel time as is. we Had cake drink for a toast, then went out to eat after the cake reception with anyone that wanted to come along.

we decided to axe the before wedding meal mostly because we didn't know until the final hour how many would show, and when I asked those that had confirmed yes, they all told me that there was no need to go the extra steps. that cake was great with them the fact that our budget had been cut big time for many reasons, it made things easier.

had we gone with the meal, I was just going to get food in quantity that would be enough for the max amount of people, (church allowed us to bring in food) then we'd take leftovers home and/or give to the homeless in the area.

not sure if that's much help, but I was in a situation with similarities so thought I'd share

@Faran hit it right on the nose!

I guess it depends where your guests are coming from; my cousin had her wedding in FL and all of our family lives in IN so she decided to just have a small wedding with just her sisters, parents, and FH's parents, and then have a big reception when she got home.

In going a destination in NOLA. My guest list is about 160 ppl. I'm hoping for about 75. But Nola is only 6 hours from us. Ppl COULD drive. I'll let you know what my final head count will be.

Personally, I invited EVERYONE thinking only half or so will show. I also intentionally have by budget listed at 10K less with my wedding planner and made sure my venue wasn't maxed out at my estimated number.

I know exactly what you're going through!! We are having a wedding in Mexico too. We had this same issue. We ended up inviting about 50 but are guessing only about 20 will come. We send STD's but not invites yet, so it is still up in the air!

Faran: lol- I think she's right! come to think of it, I had the same situation with a few people myself. at least so it seemed. a few were all 'I'll be there will bells on! always wanted to go to Denver!' then in the end they had reasons they couldn't.

think it was because they waited too long to take advantage of good air fares- I warned them to get their tickets during the sales I told them about!

Thanks all for your thoughts so far! About 20 of my guests are from Mexico near where we're having the wedding -- the rest are scattered across the US so it will definitely be a serious trip for them. I'm sure y'all are right about the "I'm excited to come until it's time to plan / pay" crowd, and of course many of our invitees are in life transitions (going back to school, having kids, starting new jobs etc) so a year away is an eternity.

It's just so crazy to think about planning the budget with such a huge unknown.

I don't have a problem with the concept of "waves" / a "B list" but I'm not sure how it could work logistically because most of the people on the B list wouldn't be able to come / might be offended if they only hear about the wedding a few months in advance -- so to give the B list enough time to really be able to plan to come, I'd need a really early RSVP deadline for the A list. Has anybody done this?

@sandpiper it is a big unknown but one of the benefits of a foreign DW is there is less planning involved. Thats why DW type places are usually very inclusive the couple comes down a week or so before the wedding and pick everything out (flowers, food, cake) so by then you'll have your GL & count.

@faran, that's definitely the case at the resorts on the Mexican coasts, but we're looking at hotels and gardens in a central Mexican town where most weddings are local and where there are no "all-inclusive resorts" or businesses which specialize in serving Americans. So I'm definitely going to need to put a lot of trust in a wedding planner to communicate with me and take care of the details on the ground.

It's a bit frustrating budget-wise because there are some venues and options that I'll definitely be able to afford if we have only 70 people come, but that would stretch the budget if we have 140. I guess I just need to stay on the lower end just in case a lot of people come, but it will be a shame to pass up my favorite spot only to find out I totally could have afforded it! Oh well.

We moved to Hawaii last year and decided to have our wedding here instead of trying to do in Maryland where we are from.

If I knew then what I know now.....

We invited almost 170, we expected maybe 70. Last week I only had 30 confirmed. We sent our Save the Dates almost 11 months in advance in addition to letting close friends and family know the date. In that time a friend's husband lost his job 2 days before they bought their tickets, another family friend got diagnosed with cancer and will be going through chemo around my wedding, another friend's son passed away over Christmas, etc, etc...

So really, plan for what YOU want on the smaller side, chances are you won't have extra people coming.

Well, am also having a DW. I don't intend to slow it down on the invite list... I've had enough disappointment on events to understand not as many will show up... Given Faran & Maria's points. Invite the whole world and only those God has assigned will be at your wedding.

...have fun planing

Thank you all! It's really reassuring. I like how you put it @Joy! I was thinking about trimming my list but now I'm thinking I'll leave it as-is or maybe even add a few friends.

Because my "people" are all over the place I knew this was going to be the case wherever my wedding would be. And as long as our parents and siblings are there, the rest will take care of itself.

@Maria good luck wrangling those last few RSVPs! Reading all the drama on this site, 30 is starting to sound like a really lovely number to me.

Thank you, Sandpiper, for the question. This is helpful. I have been stressing my guest list too! I am sending save the dates in the next few weeks, but have a few that I am not sure if I should invite. I guess I can do a plan B Save the Date list.

I agree based on what everyone is saying, just add who you want and it will all work out. I would also say have the wedding where you want it.

Oooh @PRWedding, does your name mean you're celebrating in Puerto Rico? Where is it going to be? What fun!

It does! We just booked Castillo de San Cristobal - a fortress in Old San Juan for the ceremony and El Convento Hotel for the Reception. It used to be a convent.

The ceremony will be at night. I hope it looks like this. Happy planning Sandpiper. Mexico has great food, lots of culture and plenty to do too.

AAAAAH gorgeous! I know San Cristobal and El Convento -- those are both amazing venues. Similar to the historic vibe I'm going for. Can't wait for your BAM.

Thanks! Yours too!