Can I bring a plus 1?
You would think that, planning my own wedding, I would know how these things work. I got a wedding invitation addressed only to me. There is a place for me to fill out number of guests. The bride does know I'm engaged, but I don't think she knows my FH. I don't want to be "that guest" who just assumes I can bring him, but I would like to bring him, if I can. So, what do I do?

Married: 08/03/2012
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Mar 11, 2012 at 6:12 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

25 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 06/30/2012
Reviews: 5
Mar 11, 2012 at 6:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
just call and ask. It might be awkward and she might say no, but it's better than just assuming.

Married: 08/12/2012
Mar 11, 2012 at 6:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Unless it says "and guest", I would assume that he's not invited. Do you know anyone else that will be at the wedding? If you know other people, I'd probably just let it go and go by yourself, but if not then I'd maybe ask.

Married: 08/03/2012
Reviews: 5
Mar 11, 2012 at 6:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Alina: that's the thing, I don't think I know ANYONE going. So I might just not go.

Married: 04/28/2012
Mar 11, 2012 at 6:27 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would just call and make sure.

It may be one of her sisters/WP/family members helped her address her invitations, and maybe she didn't know his name to write it down on her spreadsheet or whatever. That happened to one of my friends - she invited just me but not FH, which was super weird since she had asked him to DJ her reception. I called her up and she was like, "Oops, of course, sorry!" lol.

I would be totally shocked if your FH was not invited. You can't invite half of a couple! Maybe she just didn't know his name and forgot to ask you or something.

I wouldn't go to a wedding that FH wasn't invited to. That would be really, really strange.
Edited On: Mar 11, 2012 at 6:28 PM

Married: 08/12/2012
Mar 11, 2012 at 6:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well if you don't know anyone else, I would ask her! Kris could be right - maybe she just didnt know his name or didn't even address them herself.

Rachel W.
Married: 05/27/2012
Reviews: 9
Mar 11, 2012 at 6:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would call and ask her. Maybe she assumes you'll know.

On my invites, I put a space for # of guests (which I filled in) and then # attending (which they can fill in). I don't want any confusion when the RSVPs come back.

Edited On: Mar 11, 2012 at 6:29 PM

Married: 09/28/2012
Reviews: 6
Mar 11, 2012 at 6:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I was invited to a wedding last summer and my FH's name wasn't on the invite. When I questioned it, she said she forgot how to spell his name so she just put me. I call BS but whatever. It is just rude to invite half of a couple (meaning engaged or married...just dating I can understand putting and guest).

anywho...give her a call and let us know what she says!

Married: 05/05/2012
Reviews: 6
Mar 11, 2012 at 6:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Call and ask. I've had a few people call to see if they can bring a guest. I'm not offended when people ask. I'm only offended when people assume that they can bring a guest or in some cases guests and add them onto their RSVPs without asking me.

Married: 05/04/2012
Reviews: 7
Mar 11, 2012 at 9:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I forgot to put "and guest" on FH's cousin's invitation, she put 2 down though, and that was fine with me. But mine is a DW and she's coming from Boston to TX to be there, so it might be different.

Married: 2+ years ago
Mar 11, 2012 at 9:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Why would anyone put down a space for "number of guests" and then be upset because someone brought someone along? Wouldn't that be the fault of the couple for being so vague? Just curious.

Married: 1+ year ago
Mar 11, 2012 at 9:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would say if the invite doesn't specify a 1 then no, but that's just me. You may want to call and ask you know them better than I do and some people just don't think to put that on the invite but for my guests if it's not on the invite then the answer is "no"

Married: 1+ year ago
Mar 11, 2012 at 9:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I meant 1 sorry

Married: 1+ year ago
Mar 11, 2012 at 9:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
ahh it's not putting the plus sign so I meant plus one LOL good luck yeah maybe just call and clarify I don't think tha's rude but just assuming would be so I think calling is fine.

Married: 09/14/2012
Reviews: 7
Mar 11, 2012 at 9:39 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
if you don't know anyone else that's going to the wedding and they just address the invite to your name only...then that would mean he's not invited. if it was me...i wouldn't go. i think that's just plain rude, especially because she knows you are engaged.

Married: 10/19/2012
Mar 11, 2012 at 9:40 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Rachel has given me something to think about for my own RSVP's so it's super, super clear beyond how it is addressed on the envelope.

Married: 04/28/2012
Mar 11, 2012 at 9:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Erin, here's how I did ours. The only confusion we've had was my mom, who put a check mark instead of a one, and my dad, who sent his back blank. :) But I know they're they're both coming. So far so good. :)
forgot to mention, I wrote in the names of each invited person on that little line. I also wrote "Miss Jane Smith & Guest" if it was a single person getting an unnamed plus one of their choice. I filled in the numbers like this:

2 seats have been reserved.....
__ of 2 accepts with pleasure
__ of 2 declines with regret

So far people have figured it out and we haven't had anything weird, but they're just starting to come back, so we'll see. :)

Edited On: Mar 11, 2012 at 9:47 PM

Married: 08/31/2012
Reviews: 6
Mar 12, 2012 at 12:19 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
ooooo i like the __ of 2 thing!! then they know exactly how many!! i would jus call her and ask if it was a mistake. jus b like hey i noticed that it only had my name on it not (FH) i was just wondering if this was a mistake or not.. i feel like that is a lot less confrontational than hey is he invited? good luck!

Married: 08/03/2012
Reviews: 5
Mar 12, 2012 at 9:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
So I did ask her (as politely and non-confrontationally as I could, lol), and she said she assumed I would write his name in since their was a spot for me to fill in #of guests. So he's invited. :) I think it would just have been a little less vague if she had addressed it to me "and guest."

Married: 05/12/2012
Reviews: 5
Mar 12, 2012 at 9:59 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would also call and ask. If your guests are engaged or living together, you are supposed to invite their significant other. Not that everyone does, but Suzy Etiquette would tell you to.

Also, I put the number of guests invited on my RSVP card and filled it in myself, but reading through these, I wish I had thought to do the "number attending" line...oh well. Live and learn. I also found out today that the definition of "Formal" i had been going by is incorrect. I thought formal was a step down from black tie, but FH's uncle informed me that they are actually the same thing. I may have some VERY stylishly dressed guests.

Married: 12/09/2011
Mar 12, 2012 at 11:33 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ Kathleen I did the samething as your friend. I assumed my friends would know that their SO would be invited. I just didn't want to send their SO a seperate invite since they don't live at the same address. It caused alot of confusion because I didn't add the "plus guest".

@ Gina.. I had guests the opposite of you.. they assumed because it was just a reception wedding that it was a "casual dress" I had guests calling me a day before asking if they could wear jeans and running shoes??
Login or Signup to post a comment!

Vow of Conduct