Zoom call gone bad

It’s ok for her to express concern, NOT ok to straight up call you irresponsible. I’m sure you will make the right decision about your shower in a few weeks once we know more! Stay safe girl

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Thanks. It's more my mom's call too. We are leaning towards cancelling but just want to wait and see right now.

I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Everyone is scared and fear brings out the some of the worst sides of us. Your FSIL and FH’s cousin are both lashing out with knee-jerk reactions. This is the first time I’ve heard of anyone saying they won’t support anyone getting married this year. Like seriously??? Continue trying to stay positive for your sake and your FH’s and, as hard as it is, ignore the negative Nancy’s. You are being cautious and hopeful things will get better, that doesn’t make you irresponsible that is a healthy way (in my opinion) of dealing with this situation.

I am so sorry you are going through this, sending you positive energy

Like seriously? So no one can get married this year? We talked about reducing the guest list for our August wedding, and at most I would say couples should consider keeping their nuptials small. But to say no one can get married? I'm not the only bride who has waited awhile to get married and wants to move on from this milestone! Like I wouldn't even want to postpone a year because I just want to be married and move on. We already eloped but we decided to have a small ceremony and reception in August. That being said, people are being scared about August right now. And then December! We're all being responsible, but some of us just don't want to wait anymore! People need to chill - you have to work. If anything, maybe she should be mad at our government that isn't making it feasible for more people to stay home.

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Thank you! I thought I was doing the right thing but trying to be positive about things. I fully accept that I might have to change my shower date. But we are waiting it out a bit. Yeah I haven't really been talking to any of them after his cousin sent us that message.

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Yeah I think I was most hurt by that comment about no one getting married this year. Like I have waited awhile to get married. I don't want to postpone for another year and I probably won't. I probably would say screw it and have a small wedding. My FH and I want to start trying for a baby after we get married and we aren't getting any younger so for us to postpone just isn't really an option we want to entertain. I try so hard to stay positive and try to say let's see what happens considering things change basically every day! How can someone possibly make a decision that is months away. I also don't think it's feasible for people to stay home for like months on end.

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Thanks. I'm trying to stay positive. I just wish she in general would be nicer and more supportive. Not such a negative Nancy.

That’s awful 😠
Know that you are not alone in this, we are all affected one way or an other, it wasn't our fault to be in this situation but we can't just Stop and change things we have to take on day at the time and Pray The Good Lord above to help us to make the right decisions and hope that this nasty virus just goes away 😥
You are NOT irresponsible for continuing to have a job that requires you to go everyday.Actually you and I are very blessed to have a job we just have to be cautious and follow safety recommendations.I send you good energy and love your way!

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Exactly. Like I can't stop living my life. Right now I'm grateful I have a job since my FH was laid off. I pray every night that this goes away and we can get back to something close to normal. Thank you sending you good energy and love right back.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, our economy will not last with everyone staying home - it's already going to hurt. My hubby's salary got cut, and I'm still shocked that they've left me alone. I think smaller weddings will definitely be feasible by that point. It sucks because we were right at our finish line and then had to give up with a pandemic in our faces. I know we're not the only ones, but a marriage is still starting your lives. I'd say try to stay positive and keep going forward. I keep saying we'll have a lot bigger problems if we can't have a wedding in August.

My FH and i are still going into work as well. He’s a truck driver and I work in medical device manufacturing. Neither of us have jobs that can be done from home, but both are important right now. Some might think it’s irresponsible to leave to go to work, but if your work is open and operating, what choice do you have? You’re not in the wrong for being upset about how she acted. Just be as safe as you can, but do what you have to do.

I feel like everyone is reacting very differently to the current situation. Most likely she’s concerned for the health of you and your FH and just expressing it wrong. Being said, I’m the same way me and my FH are still going into work because, well we need to keep our jobs haha. I wouldn't re bring it up she’ll get over it, you’re not being irresponsible.

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Exactly. To be fair in some states my type of work is closed, I work in law firm as a legal assistant. But in my state legal services are still open so we are staying open.

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True, I guess everyone handles things differently. yeah, I really do need to keep my job right now. As of right now, my FH's workplace might be closing permanently because of this virus and the financial toll it has taken on the company he works for.

View Quoted Comment If your state has deemed legal services to be essential, and allowing those businesses to stay open, then you are well within your right to go to work as long as you do so as safely as you reasonably can. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that. If your work is open and operating, and you decide to put your career in jeopardy and not go in anyway, that sounds a lot more irresponsible to me, because you would be knowingly and intentionally damaging your own financial stability if you were to do that.

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Yeah and right now that is not a good idea. My FH's work might be closing permanently because of this whole thing. So that would be the last thing we need is for me to lose my job. Of course, he doesn't want his sister to know he might be losing his job for good. Which I do understand considering how she has been freaking out over everything. This isn't the first time this has happened since the virus started; but it is the first time she directed it at me.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry to hear you guys are going through that. It sounds like you’re doing exactly what is best for your family. Hopefully once all of this is done, and company’s lift their hiring freezes, he’ll be able to find somewhere new quickly.
My FH’s work laid off all of their dock workers in order to keep the drivers working. My FH is actually getting moved to working on the dock this week (luckily keeping his regular rate of pay). His company made the decision that it’s easier to replace the dock guys than the drivers in an industry where there already aren’t enough CDL drivers to fill every company’s seats. I feel for the dock guys who were let go, but I’m thankful that my FH is able to keep working even if it’s not every single day as things slow down. So I understand the stress of not knowing where the money is going to come from. I have to take half days this week because he’s going into work at 1 and daycare is closed until at least the 20th, and we have a 2.5 year old with no help to watch her. Luckily I have PTO that I can take to make up the time or we’d be screwed.

Long story short, keep up what you’re doing, keep your head held high, and keep going through everything that’s happening. You guys will be alright, and everyone else needs to keep their opinions to themselves.

View Quoted Comment But yeah I definitely think she should have handled it differently instead of calling you both irresponsible. You can’t help it if your work is requiring you to come in. It’d be different if you were just out partying with groups of friends by choice.

Ugh that's so horrible. I don't understand why people don't realize how hurtful their words can be. Having to worry about all of this right now is NOT what I thought I was going to be doing 5 months out from our wedding and I'm sure you're feeling the same way. I'm trying to stay positive too but it is super hard when people are careless with their words. I don't understand the people who keep saying that no weddings should be happening this year.. that is just so extreme and backed by no evidence at all.