Morgan
Beginner December 2021

Young Bride

Morgan, on December 11, 2019 at 10:25 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 23
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So I will be getting married to my high school sweetheart. We've been dating for 3 years and will be getting married in December of 2021. I am currently 19 years old and will be married at 21 years. I've heard before that young brides have troubles getting treated like a bride when they go out. More specifically when they shop for wedding dresses. I'm wondering if anyone has had poor experiences or know people who had such. I'm worried that I'll be judged very heavily and won't be taken seriously.



I have a budget of about $5000 for a wedding dress.
And for those asking "why so young?" Well we're both very Catholic and don't see a point in waiting till after we graduate college. We already have life long plans and what not. Please do not attack me or my choices based off of my age.

23 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on January 15, 2020 at 9:25 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    My brother was married at 18. He turned 19 a few weeks later. Any time anyone would find out his age people would automatically judge him for getting married so young. This is obviously a personal decision. People may think you are young and might express their feelings, but if you feel you will be ready then go for it. I do think it is important to be financially stable and living on your own before you get married though.
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  • Morgan
    Beginner December 2021
    Morgan ·
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    We already live together on our own and pay almost all of our bills without family help. We think it's the right choice for us.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Then that's all that matters. People are going to have an opinion. If it wasn't about your age it would be something else. Just ignore the negativity and happy planning ☺️
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  • Emily
    Devoted May 2021
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    Hey!! I’m 19 and my fiancé is 27. When we are married, I’ll be 20 and he’ll be 28. I definitely feel you with all the judgement!! I get it a lot due to our age gap! We live together, own a car, and pay all our own bills too!


    Don’t let it get to you. Brush it off and focus on you and your fiancé! Your happiness should be put first! PM me if you need anything!
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  • Littlebride
    Dedicated January 2020
    Littlebride ·
    • Flag
    I decided to buy my dress online for that reason. I'm a little bit older than you ( I'm 23, but I look like I'm at least 17, sometimes I get told I look like I'm 12) my fiance is 29. When we first started dating people asked him if it was even legal for him to date me. If I was old enough for him and all kinds of stuff.
    We started dating when I was 18 so it's been 5 years of hearing are you old enough for ( insert whatever adult thing a young person looks odd doing lol)

    I've done all the shopping with my mother in law in store, but the dress was the only thing I didn't want to feel judged about so I found a website I trusted and bought my dress from them. In store when I get the comment of, " wow, you look so young" I just smile and say mmmhhm. But if you're able to take your mom or your mother in law do it, that way you're treated with a little but more respect.
    • Reply
  • Brianna N
    Super October 2019
    Brianna N ·
    • Flag

    I'm 23 and my husband and I have a bit of an age gap, but I didn't experience any judgement! I think as long as you go in and show confidence and maturity that most people will leave you alone. I hope you don't have to deal with any comments! All that really matters though is that you feel you are ready (and so does your FH) and that you are excited to be marrying the love of your life. Some random persons opinion in some store doesn't matter. Enjoy the process! Smiley smile

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  • Sierra
    Dedicated July 2021
    Sierra ·
    • Flag

    My two cents for handling situations when people want to judge your ages - don't bother with explanations! It is no one else's business why you are getting married now/at all. Especially if you are dealing with a vendor who should be selling their business to you, not judging you. People will judge and attempting to "make it okay" (how long you've been together, ability to provide for yourselves, ect) just fuels the judger's initial idea that less responsible young people shouldn't marry. Congratulations on the engagement! Please share pics of the dress when you find it!

    • Reply
  • Alonda
    Beginner September 2020
    Alonda ·
    • Flag
    When I went dress shopping they didn't ask for my age but it looked pretty obvious I was young. I didn't have any bad experiences shopping for wedding dresses! Everyone was pretty professional and we had our own section so outsiders didn't bother me or my family. It was the same when looking for venues also! I think as long as you're confident in your choices (especially when they ask how you met or how long you've been dating) people tend to brush over it. They're just excited for you. But I also live in the south where it's common to see younger couples! I think you should try scoping out at least one shop alone or with a friend to get a feel. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I'm not going to attack your plans to marry young, but I will say that part of being a grownup is living confidently in your choices and not caring what others think of you. This gets easier with practice (and with age! Smiley winking). So until you get to that point, just plan to smile and nod through any criticism that comes your way and learn to change the subject to something neutral and go about your business.


    I definitely agree with Sierra that it's important not to waste your time defending/explaining/justifying yourself (except, perhaps, to those closest to you). For some people, any explanation you offer just gives them more fuel to try to convince you they are right.

    • Reply
  • Morgan
    Beginner December 2021
    Morgan ·
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    Thank you so much! Honestly really the only thing that I'm scared about is dress shopping. Did you have any problems with people not taking you seriously and what not?
    • Reply
  • Morgan
    Beginner December 2021
    Morgan ·
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    This really makes me feel better! I live in North Florida but in a college town so unfortunately its not as open as I think. I may go to the more rule parts to look for a dress so I can feel a little safer.
    • Reply
  • Morgan
    Beginner December 2021
    Morgan ·
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    I've thought about buying it online but in the past when I buy clothes that way they never really turn out how I hoped. I don't want to pay a large sum only to be disappointed in what I got. What company did you use?
    • Reply
  • Morgan
    Beginner December 2021
    Morgan ·
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    I definitely see how even trying to explain would cause more room for problems. I know I have to be strong and determined. Normally I would be with how i manage things but because its my body and how I look I'm more nervous about people judging me.
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  • Emily
    Devoted May 2021
    Emily ·
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    I didn’t have any trouble! You sound mature so they shouldn’t even bother to ask! If they do, just tell them but sounds confident
    • Reply
  • Morgan
    Beginner December 2021
    Morgan ·
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    Thank you!
    • Reply
  • Lydia
    Beginner May 2020
    Lydia ·
    • Flag
    I’m 19 and will be married at 20. I get some judgement from strangers and acquaintances, but haven’t with any vendors. I went to soooo many stores to dress shop and no one acted judgmental (probably because they want my business lol!). Just be confident and remember that you shouldn’t have to justify your decision to get married to anyone.
    • Reply
  • Littlebride
    Dedicated January 2020
    Littlebride ·
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    I got my dress from sheer girl (https://www.sheergirl.com)
    I've bought dresses from them before and I hadn't had any issues so I was comfortable buying from them. There are minor things I've had to fix, like adding extra hooks to make sure the dress closes nicely and since I'm so short ive had to get the dresses hemmed, but besides that they've been perfect. They do have custom sizing ( which I haven't done ) so idk how accurate they are, but for reference :
    I weigh 95 pounds and im 5'1. My bra size is 34A and their size 0 fits me perfectly. ( besides the length, which I'm used to since I'm so short)
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    Not me, but my friends got married at 19 (I was a bridesmaid) because her now husband was joining the air force and she obviously wanted to go wherever he was stationed. We had a particularly bad experience at David's Bridal. The bride, my twin sister (also a BM), and I went to DB so she could legitimately try dresses on. (For context my friend was also barely 5 feet tall and 100 pounds soaking wet, so she looked like she was way younger than 19).


    When we got there, the girl behind the front counter had her fill out her information, and went over to two other consultants and was pointing and whispering about the three of us. We all saw the manager shake her head and roll her eyes, and I knew that these women thought we were coming in just to playfully try on dresses and waste their time, which, of course, we were not doing.


    I told the bride we should mention something about her fiance being in the military, but at that point, she was becoming uncomfortable. The girl came and took the information sheet and told us to wait at the counter and not wander off. We waited about 25 minutes before we realized (remember, we were 19 and 20) that they were doing this purposely. In that time we saw consultants standing around and one kept giving us dirty looks, as i'm sure the girl from the front counter told her about us. We finally left and I'm sure those women were very satisfied that we did, but all they did was upset a military bride who just wanted to try on wedding dresses. I refuse to go that David's Bridal location to this day because of the experience 6 years ago.


    My advice would be to go to a non chain bridal salon. Those consultants are less judgmental because they really want to make a sale, but they also want to give the brides a good experience, because those small businesses need good reviews to stay open! Smiley smile


    If you need any advice, we are all here for you! Smiley smile

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  • Morgan
    Beginner December 2021
    Morgan ·
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    Thank you so much for your advice. Personally im 5'10 and almost 160lbs. I guess i look a more adult then my age but it still stresss me out that what happened to your friend will happen to me. I've heard really bad things about David's bridal and how they can treat their brides. I'll definitely stay away from them.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I think one thing that did work against us then was that her mom didn't go with us. If there a more "adult" adult there, they probably wouldn't have done what they did. I did go to DB for bridesmaids though (a different location, of course) and we had a great experience! Their BM dresses fit great and came in super quick!


    I would take your mom or MIL or aunt or someone older if you can. I would also research designers you like and then go to the bridal shops that carry them, so you have a vision in mind!


    I have a feeling that you carry yourself in a very mature way, so you shouldn't have any issues! Smiley smile

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