You Can't Sit With Us (How to politely tell people they aren't invited...)

Don't tell people they aren't invited.

ETA: They'll get the hint when they don't get a STD or invite. I would much rather not receive an invite than have the couple personally tell me they aren't inviting me.

Do not write to them. Nothing sucks more than not getting invited to an event than receiving a well thought out reason why you weren't invited.

If they ask about, just say you would love but to but just couldn't swing it. Simple.

No don't reach out to each person individually. When they don't get an invite they'll get the hint. If anyone approaches you on it tell them that you decided to have a small intimate wedding with immediate family.

Um, no. Invite who you're going to invite and leave it alone. If you get any pressing questions...

"We've chosen a venue that is very intimate, and we've had to make some difficult choices regarding the guest list. Thank you for your good wishes."

The end.

No, I wouldn't wAnt a note saying why I wasn't invited to your wedding. People won't be offended, just tell them (if they ask) you are having a small wedding. End of story

I had around the same number of guests. I didn't really announce our engagement. For those people who did ask, I always responded that it was going to be a very small, intimate wedding and since we had to divide the number of guests between DH and me, we were focusing on immediate family only. Most people will understand. I would not send a note, though.

Nay, it's in bad taste to specifically point out to someone that they are not invited to an event.

Don't tell them they are not invited unless they ask where their invitations are. Then, tell them you are having a small wedding at a venue with space limitations.

Don't write a note to them, when they don't get an invite then they will know.

My MIL wanted me to do this with the people she thought should be on the list but couldn't fit in the space (since she didn't mention anything until after we had booked a venue). We had to explain to her that it's very rude to do this to people. You can politely explain if they ask, but don't preemptively send letters or anything. It would be like sending a card that says "Hey, we're having this awesome party in a few months. Nope, this isn't an invite we just wanted to tell you that you can't come -nah, nah, nah, nah, nah!" I know your motives are good, but trust me it would come across as you saying they aren't important to you.

We are in the same boat. I personally just avoid wedding convo with people that aren't invited. Honestly most people won't even ask and will just get the hint when they haven't received anything. We did get faced once with telling someone they weren't invited and then they even were like "well is so and so invited but not me?" I just keep saying unfortunately we can't include everyone we'd like to because weddings are so expensive.

I just got this article in my email lol I have not read through it but it may be helpful!!!

http://www.brides.com/blogs/aisle-say/2016/01/how-to-handle-someone-who-is-not-invited-to-wedding.html?mbid=nl_012516_Weekly_Invited&CNDID=39569212&spMailingID=8471158&spUserID=MTE1MzQwNjQ4ODc3S0&spJobID=842786693&spReportId=ODQyNzg2NjkzS0

Do you see why this is not only a bad idea but very rude? No matter how you say it, this is how it's going to sound.

"Hey Lindsay, you're a really good friend but more a fun casual friend and so you will not be receiving an invite because we chose a small venue and now have to limit our list. Unfortunately, your fun casualness doesn't make you cool enough for us to want to spend money on you. But if you want to take us out to dinner to personally celebrate before or after, we'd love to!"

Yeah. It for sure is a worse blow to get a "Here's why you didn't make the cut" letter than to just let them figure it out when they don't receive an invite. Not to mention the headache it saves you. Put all the effort you were gonna spend writing those letters into wedding planning, and that'll be a better use of your time!

I'm used to people being so forward it would make most people's jaw drop. But I can't even imagine getting a letter explaining why I wasn't worthy of a wedding invite. Please don't do this.

My FMIL sent this type of email to two of her siblings of a very large family. FH hasn't been close with them in forever so it never crossed my mind to send them any kind of notice. FH and I said we wouldn't have said anything at all to them but I wasn't going to tell her what to do with her family.

I wouldn't send them anything, like PPs said, they'll understand when the invite doesn't come!

Also, I'm a dork and super love that your name is Lindsay L and you quoted Mean Girls LOL

Nay

DO NOT DO THIS. This is incredibly rude. And honestly, the title of your thread is rude and inconsiderate as well.

Thanks guys. I figured it might be taboo but i guess i didnt consider that it would be rude...i def would have explained it in a more personal manner (tailored to each individual) and in nicer manner (SeptMrs) but I understand how it could come across as sh*tty. I guess I'll just cross those awkward bridges when I come to them thanks again everyone.