[WR] Weddings Make You Realize Your True Friends

There is a pretty high unemployment rate in this country, and to you a bridal shower may be important, but to her boss not so much. There are a lot of people who would be in line for your friend's job.

So if she gets fired to attend your shower, are you covering her living expenses until she finds a new job? I do not think her not getting off work means she is not a good friend, I think you might be getting a little too upset over this. IMO

My MOH didn't come to my bachelorette, and she was on vacation only an hour from here and had already been here for a week!! (She lives out of state) I can understand you being upset, but when it comes to work, people have to do what they have to do- especially in this economy. The other thing is it's a shower- it's not the wedding. We have a couple people desperately trying to get off work for the wedding, but even that might not happen.

Let me just say, I work in the medical field and 3 weeks is NOT enough time to try to get a weekend off, switch with someone, and planning to call in sick when you know there isn't coverage is not a good look. She probably wants to be there and honestly can't. I miss a lot of things on weekends and my friends understand. As long as she's there for the wedding is what really matters.

Girl I had this problem to and I finally said F it! lol They don't want to make an effort the same way I would for them then I just won't invite you to things anymore, peace out girlfriends! lol

Yes, you can be upset that she isn't coming BUT I don't think this is a reason to get bent out of shape over it. It is a bridal shower, not the actual wedding. Now if this was your wedding then yes, I can understand that. Anna made some very good points. Maybe her having to work the following weekend is more complicated than you realize, or maybe her finances are tighter than she is willing to admit. She may not realize that the shower is important to you, or like Glenn said, 3 weeks might not have been enough notice for her employer. Then to expect her to call in sick because her boss wouldn't give her the day off is rather silly. One, it's unprofessional and two, her boss probably isn't THAT stupid to believe she is sick then it's the same day she had been trying to get off. In today's economy, I think I would miss a friend's bridal shower even though I wanted to attend to save my butt from getting in trouble with my employer because I called in fake sick!!!

I wouldn't say she's not a friend because she can't make the shower. Work is important, and in this economy, you can't mess around with your job. She did give you a heads up, as opposed to just not showing. I would give her a break. She probaly feels bad enough that she can't attend, and you being angry will make her feel worse. Give her the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't have ill intentions, but she has to work.

Also, I've worked in nursing homes before. It really is a pain for the others when someone calls off. At the nursing home I worked at, each CNA was in charge of 8 to 10 people. When someone called off, they had to divide those people up amongst the other CNA. It is a hassle, a pain and the day does not run smoothly at all. It is the same in the other departments as well.

This is just my opinion though - I would never be mad at a friend who couldn't make it to my bridal shower because of work. She tried and it just couldn't happen. I'd understand.

Sounds like she works in Elder Care. Frequently there is too little staff as it is and one person calling in sick makes it difficult on all the others. And often, there is NO ONE to switch weekends with because they all have their own plans.

And calling in fake sick is not only selfish because the coworkers have to work harder, but also because the residents may not get the attention they need. You want a sick or elderly person's health put in jeopardy so your friend can go to a wedding shower?

I don't think you can be mad at her. I wanted to have my engagement party last weekend, but 3 of my bridesmaids would not have made it because they had prior plans. No way would I say it's their fault.

I agree with all of you in that it is tough to find a job in today's economy - I left my job to move in with FH after the wedding, so she's got one on me there. I agree that calling in sick would be selfish of me to ask her to do, but when my other best friend who lives 2 hours away just started a new job & made sure at her interview to tell the boss that she needed this day, this day, & this day off for my wedding stuff - I feel like the other friend could have made more of an effort. Maybe she did & she just hasn't made me aware. I'm not so much mad at her, I'm more disappointed.