Would you regret not having a big wedding

Everyone is different and everyone's FAMILY is different; as you've probably figured out, it's NOT all about the couple....

I have been to a lot of very, very lovely weddings, both small and large. The notion that every family member, every high school friend, every co worker must be invited to a wedding isn't always the best idea. I'd personally rather have a small, gorgeous, affordable party than a giant room full of people who sorta want to be there.

i don't understand what there is to 'regret'....you do what suits your personality and budget at the time you want to get married, bypass the drama/bills/effort/stress of inviting 300 people and entertaining them, and wake up just as married the next day.

As wedding vendors go, I'm probably in the minority. I think between the industry and the media, there is such a tremendous pressure to have a giant, perfect wedding with a million details (most of which no one notices or remembers) and your average human can't begin (cont)

To plan it, orchestrate it or pay for it. THAT would be my regret.

Do what is right for you, but resist the pressure to invite everyone that your families want if that's not what's truly in your heart.

We had a DW wedding weekend with 30 of our nearest and dearest. We got to enjoy the resort with our closest friends the whole weekend, it was amazing. During dinner at our reception my husband turned to me and said, " this is perfect, exactly what I wanted." How could I possibly regret that?!

I wouldn't have, but it's not what FH wanted. I can't say I'm going to regret my big wedding though either.

I wish we had gone small and just done a huge party at the house maybe a week or 2 later.

Our wedding went from 60-80-95-now the final number is 116. I told fh we need to really look at our list and figure out who are true friends. I don't want to spend the entire night figuring out who I spent time with & not really enjoying the night. Our venue has a minimum of 85 people though I wish we could cancel get our money back and just do something small lol

I think it's all up to the person(s) and what they want! We are finding that this big wedding we both have dreamed of all our lives is going to be really expensive and very stressful and sure, we could have a small wedding and save a ton of money to put towards something else, but we have both decided that we would regret it. For us, it's like we can't live all our lives not knowing what the big wedding was like so we just have to do it now while we can b/c in a few years we may have kids and all kinds of other bills and then a renewal won't be an option! Good luck with your decision and congrats!

Personally, I would regret it, because I want my family and friends to be there. I have a huge fam and so does FH. So we will have a big wedding but there are no "fillers" that ppl are talking about. If I only had a few ppl I really cared about having there, I would totally do a small wedding. I think if the small wedding sounds appealing to you, go for it. Like someone else mentioned, you could have a bigger vow renewal later

FSIL had about 185 of the 230 people she invited show to her wedding. About 30 of those invites were hers, the rest being friends of family or of her husbands family.

She was pretty sad the invite list got that large because in the end, some of the people she didn't even remember or know had shown up, there's just NO WAY to see them all.

Our wedding is looking like about 70 people, 12 of which are kids, all are almost family. I wish it was a bit larger, because most of it is my family and I'm afraid it won't be much of a party as they don't really dance and I'm recalling how boring my sisters wedding was.

So, to answer your question, there are good things and bad things about scaling back, but I'm not sure I understand the "fillers" part? Why would anyone just invite people to have a big wedding? You invite people you want there!

@Leanna - I wouldn't worry too much about the 116, we invited 105 and are at 59 adults 12 kids. So your wedding may end up small like you wanted it. And truth be told, 105 is all family and about 5 friends that aren't in the bridal party.

Many venues, at least in my area, have minimum guest counts on weekends. That's why fillers get to be there.

Probably not. I actually had a small backyard wedding and reception with only close friends and family. It was awesome so intimate and special.

I went home, to the mountains, had my outdoor wedding with close family. We had maybe 30 people, including us. I don't regret it for a moment. If you want the big to do and you have the budget, then go for it. If not, then this is really a great option. If you (anyone not you particularly) have a smaller budget, why stress yourself going for something you can't afford. There is a reason for the saying, Good things come in small packages.

We are having immediate family only. I've gone back and forth on the guest list but I always come back to immediate family. A lot of it has to do with budget.

Most small wedding brides actually are glad they did a small wedding. And like one poster said, you can always do a vow renewal with more guests later if you decide.

I would regret it. I'm 25 and FH is 31, we both have huge families and TONS of friends. I would be devastated if I had to cut some people out that mean a lot to us. I've always dreamed about this day, we are financially In a great place and its what we both want.. I wouldn't change a thing.

Having done the big wedding the first go round, and planning a DE this time around, the only advice I can really give is to follow your heart. You and your FH need to do what is best and most important to the two of you. That's all that really matters at the end of the day.

I think each bride and her expectation's are different. Only you know what will make your heart content. Speaking of large weddings, I have a 450 guestlist and that is after we cut down people. My cousin had 750. That's just how most desi weddings go. And no these people are not fillers. I actually know everyone on my list minus a few of future in law's guests. But my fiance will know who they are. I like playing host and I am used to large affairs so for me this is what I want. Do what works for you. If you settle, that's when you will have regrets.

I'm regretting not having an intimate ceremony( which is what I've always wanted but my mom thought otherwise). I don't think you'll regret it one bit. It's less chaos and hassle. Just look pretty and as long as your groom is there...it's all good!!

Everything I read on here is about priorities. I actually made a list and decided on a bed and breakfast wedding with just 14 close family attending. Everyone is staying the night and we will have the whole inn to ourselves. #1 for me was having my adult children with me for him it was his mom and dad, sister, niece and nephew.

Our lives have been filled with chaos lately so the thought of a large wedding was overwhelming to me.

Think about what's important to the two of you and the choice will come easily.

Edit for typo

Doubt it! I originally wanted to keep it under 50, but FH wants about 75-80. Besides, you can always have a big vow renewal in a couple years if you really want.

FH really wants a big wedding. He didn't have that with his first marriage. I did with my first marriage. I would much rather have a DW but I honestly don't want to disappoint FH, so we are having a fairly big wedding. I am really shy and hate being the center of attention so the idea of it being just us, was so much more appealing to me. So to answer the question NO I wouldn't regret it but FH would!