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Andrea
Master January 2021

Worried about unruly guests?

Andrea, on August 28, 2018 at 5:47 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25

Are any of you inviting guests that you are worried about in terms of their behaviour?

1. Maybe they've been giving you a hard time with the wedding planning, or in general are negative towards your FH, you and everything you've been planning?

2. You know you've got to invite them, but they've been known to cause a ruckus?

3. You may want them there, but worried about how they may act?

How can one go about trying to prevent any sort of outbursts or unsavoury events?

25 Comments

Latest activity by DC Wife 10.27.18, on August 29, 2018 at 9:01 AM
  • PurdyAikey
    Super January 2019
    PurdyAikey ·
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    I have family drama, and I am little worried that it will ALL come out on OUR day because family drama people haven't talked in a long time, and alcohol tends to make people involved MORE emotional! ... I am just praying for the best, and hoping that they realize it is about FH and I and not them. One already told me they would leave to avoid drama, and that hurts my feelings because I want them all there!

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  • M
    Savvy October 2018
    Michelle ·
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    Yeah my in laws. They are divorced and both will be there; the mother in law likes to start trouble and just is a drama queen (she showed up to my shower uninvited and was saying inappropriate things at the table).. she knows she needs to be on good behavior but I have no idea how she will act day of. :/
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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    Aw!! Yeah I see why that hurts.. you'd think tempers would be at bay, and that people would be able to control their emotions. You're so right, alcohol does that to people sometimes. I am worried about my FMIL acting ridiculous... she tends to make stuff about her and is the type that would wear an outrageous outfit or show up "unfashionably late"..... so embarrassing.

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  • Monica
    Dedicated June 2019
    Monica ·
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    YES!
    There will be a ton of people who will NOT mesh with my conservative family. It is frightening, but I am just going to have a serious talk (Im usually the nice fun one) about at least keeping the ceremony sacred.

    I will put the fear of God in them, and they will know that my day will not be ruined. Or else. (hahaha)
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  • M
    Savvy October 2018
    Michelle ·
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    That’s sad if a family member is willing to not stay if drama starts; hopefully it won’t be bad and everything works out!
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  • M
    0000
    Mim ·
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    The first thing to realize is that you can't control others. If you have a genuine concern, hire security and/or make sure that your planner or venue coordinator knows who to look for and that they are prepared to walk people out if necessary
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I don't have anything related to your 1st question, but the 2nd & 3rd are a lot of our friends. We all like to go out and drink, and some of my fiance's single guy friends get crazy. We are only doing an open beer & wine bar, liquor for purchase, but I assume the bartender (who is trained) will know when to cut people off. I'm not stressing. We are required to carry wedding insurance anyway, if something gets damaged. I doubt it will! Our other friends have had weddings and nothing bad has happened. I just wouldn't stress if possible.

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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    OMG! My fmil is the same. Such a darn drama queen, always saying and doing things at the worst times. Recently, at a family event recently (her niece got married) they all met at my FH's grandma's house the following day after the ceremony and light reception. My FH did not go to the BBQ at the house but he went to the wedding but I refused to go to both because I like to avoid those types of situations. Needless to say.... at 11pm at night, my FH had to rush to his grandma's house because his mom spat in his grandma's face and shoved her, apparently... yeah she's THAT type of gal. Never know when she's going to act up. Every event we have planned, she acted like a FOOL... there's no way to sugarcoat it.

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  • M
    Savvy October 2018
    Michelle ·
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    Yes, that’s what I’m talking about! Lol my FMIL is the type who would have her phone out during the ceremony so I think my FH is going to tell her to leave it in the car lol. No cellphones or flash photography allowed!
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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    I get what you're saying, thank you for your advice.

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  • PurdyAikey
    Super January 2019
    PurdyAikey ·
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    I don't know! I hoping that since we are in public with FH family that they will be a little bit better behaved, but you never know... The one leaving is also usually not the starter of drama s/he will be leaving to make the day about me, but seriously it will make me sad the s/he can't stay and party while the one who is acting like an @$$ stays! Anyway it all is very stupid and petty (from my stand point), but I am hoping, wishing, praying that they can get along for 1 night. (We are inviting ~300 people, so they don't need to interact, but they are both super top A-listers that I have always felt I need them there because they are immediate family, so its not like I can cut them to avoid this!


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  • M
    Devoted September 2018
    Mel ·
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    YES. A few on all sides. One of my cousins was rude to guests at my bridal shower. She played it off like she was “just joking” but people approached me later to say they were put off by her behaviour.

    A few other family members have collectively decided they already don’t like our wedding and constantly look for reasons to put it down.

    A couple of people who drink past their limit and act inappropriately.

    We’re limiting mic access, seating certain people far away from each other and hoping for the best. I’m not going to constantly be watching to ensure people behave, but FH said he has no problems kicking people out if people start to act up.
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  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
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    My mother would possibly make a scene with my father (you’d think 35+ years after the divorce she’d be over it but no), or my aunts and uncles, or just generally manage to make the whole day about her. So, while in theory I’d like my mother to be at my wedding, I won’t be inviting her.
    I’m worried about FILs being inappropriate (criticizing things...loudly) but I just have to roll the dice and hope for the best.
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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    Wow!! That is a lot. Mel, I honestly hope everything works out for you and your FH! Putting down your wedding? Just disrespectful. It's not right. That's good tactics you are using to combat any potential issues. I wish the best for you!!!Smiley smile

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  • Steph N.
    Super October 2018
    Steph N. ·
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    I have some relatives (cousins, aunt & uncle, all the same family) who do not like my fiancé. We still invited them because we couldn’t not, but frankly I’m to the point with that side of my family where if one of them gets drunk and starts running their mouth, they’ll be told to leave.
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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    Wow, that must not be pleasant at all, they don't like your fiance? That is not good. It's good you still extended your invitations, but be prepared they may just not show up, and who wants a bunch of negative Nancys or Nicks on the most special day of your life? I wish the best for you, and I hope if they do come, they will show utmost respect, or they will be the ones looked at funny, not you two!

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  • OG Gretchen
    Super June 2018
    OG Gretchen ·
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    Nobody who is negative about you and your future spouse should be there.
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  • Heather
    Expert September 2018
    Heather ·
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    My mom is not talking to my sister they fight alot I cant even sit them at the same table-its gonna be 2 bare tables It would look better with them together
    My mom does not like my fhs mom
    My one aunt kinda turned on us now she hates fh doesny want us to marry unfortunately I invited her before this Im hoping she dont come
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  • Lacy
    Super December 2018
    Lacy ·
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    I'm not concerned about anyone in particular and don't presently forsee any issues but our venue does require security due to alcohol being served so if anyone did act up, they would be promptly removed.
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  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
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    I wish I had built in security!
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