Worried about uninvited guests showing up at reception

Seriously??? She photocopied your invites and passed thrm out??? I...just...I. Can't. Even.

Not my invitations. FH's older sister's. She got married several years ago. Because of her mother, it took her and her husband 3 years to pay their wedding off. I wont' give her an invitation or details for the wedding. She is pretty much inviting people by word of mouth...

You're being smart, based on her past behaviour. Maybe get FH to have a chat with her about numbers bring firm?

I vow to never complain about my FMIL ever again! I can't even imagine being in your shoes right now. That's nuts. I think my stomach would be in knots with worry. Good luck!!

She sounds, I'm sorry, seriously passive aggressive. Your FH has to reign her in, and yes, as much as I regret to suggest it, you need to probably have security and turn away those who are not specifically invited.

Oh, he has, but she's still doing it regardless. He said he will tell her again tomorrow, but she will disregard him like always, or guilt trip him to give in to her. She doesn't understand that we don't have the money to accommodate that many people. She has no shame, or common sense for that matter. We are already at 200 with just our friends and immediate families. I'm not even letting my parents invite their friends or distant relatives.

200? She might think that another 30 won't even be noticed......

No, she's expecting more like 100 or more, on top of our 200 guests. A traditional Cambodian wedding can go over 4-500 because there is no such concept as RSVP in our culture. That's why FH and I capped it at 200. We are hoping less will attend. But, with his mother's antics, I'm really worried that it will get ridiculously out of hand...

Security might be the best option :/

Wow, FMIL sounds like a nut! I get that she has her own customs...but she can't just apply them out of context. The no RSVPing is in such direct contradiction to every aspect of American weddings, I can't imagine how I'd manage this. At least you're putting your foot down rather than going into debt...definitely the smart choice!

It was smart to not give her an invitation or location details. I'd also put a password on the web site so that people can't just google and find the details. Basically, I think you should make it impossible for people to know the location unless they've been invited by you. Good for you for not wanting to go into debt to please her!

She is crazy. She pays no mind to the fact that we keep reminding her we can't afford to feed all those people she wants to invite. All she cares about is impressing her friends and brag about how her son is getting married and is throwing this (in her mind) "lavish" wedding. This wedding is far from lavish, and traditional Cambodian. We are incorporating some traditional elements into the wedding , such as food and the receiving line at the beginning of the reception, but everything else is all American, with rustic decor and a DJ. I just want this to be over already. She makes me really regret not doing a DW with just us and our best friends as our witnesses.

Aw...it really sucks that she's making you feel this way about your own wedding

I wonder how impressed she thinks her friends would be to show up and have nowhere to sit, nor food to eat lol

Yup, I think you need to get someone in charge of corralling the extra guests.

Absolutely have FH talk to his mother and tell her that these people will be turned away and it will be very embarrassing for her!

Wow.... I think you're being smart and preparing ahead of time. Do you have a wedding coordinator at your venue that could turn uninvited guests away? If not, maybe consider asking a trusted member of your bridal party.

That's the thing. It won't only affect her, but us and my family as well. People will talk sh*t and start drama. It's such a close-knit Cambodian community here that everyone knows everyone and their mothers and we will be the talk of the town for months, or years to come. This is a characteristic of our culture that I'm not very proud of. It's very common and it's why FH wants to avoid all that.

WOW..SOOOO she expects to invite all these extra ppl....buuuttt NOT pay for them?!?! And hasn't she heard of like, a venue having max number allowed?! wow..im floored!

Nope. She's only been to other traditional Cambodian weddings in Massachusetts, where there are big Cambodian restaurants that are well equipped to add more seating and food if needed. But those venues charge per table, not person. FH's sister's venue charged $475/table, and they had to add extra tables to accommodate the extra guests her mother invited by photocopied invitations. She's still oblivious to the fact that our venue in Maine does not have accommodations like that. She really thinks it's no big deal that she invites everyone she knows. I think she's counting on FH to give in to her, but I'm not having it. Either he stands up to his mother, or I can do it myself and that will put more strain on my relationship with her. But I don't care. There will be a seating chart. Only RSVPied guests will be let into the venue. He can deal with the potential embarrassment of turning people away if he doesn't put his mother in her place beforehand.

Sorry to hear that. In a lot of cultures RSVP-ing is a foreign concept. I hear brides on WW saying we aren't inviting anyone pass first cousins. In the black community everyone pass first cousins are a blurred. I have second & third cousins I was raised to call auntie & uncle. My FH has a crap load of cousins he has no blood or legal relationship to but their grandparents grew up together, parents grew up together & he grew up w/ their kids. Seriously we consider them all family. Its more the norm to hear back if they're not coming, not declining an rsvp but calling to explain why they can't make it. Unless you explicitly hear otherwise theyre coming.

I would get word out that the invites are by invitation ONLY and that all guests must RSVP. Word travels fast....trust me