Worried about offending FamilY!! Advice Please!!

Do you not want them there at all? Not even the reception/dinner? What about the idea of having a separate gathering with just them on a different day that's more low key?

Don't tell anyone except for your parents or close family that you want there.

People are probably going to be hurt that they are not invited if they know about it.

Your other option is to just let people know that you are having an immediate family only wedding. I would probably just keep it all hush hush.

Agree with Laura. Tell the people you want there and be sure to do it two wks ahead. if word get's out to those out of the area they may not have enough time to surprise you.

but yea hush hush is the way to go. do you're thing and then party it up if ya can.

Don't tell anyone and send out announcements after it happens

You can't avoid offending someone about this. Not really, and I'm sorry, but that's the unfortunate truth.

As for pricing, were you planning on decorating the park space? feeding anyone? the cost will go up from there. I think if you really want it super small and intimate you hit up the courthouse with your FH and your parents...

The most important thing is to have the wedding that you and your FH want, and not be pressured into doing something bigger (and more $&dollar because you are worried about people being hurt for not being invited.

I will say though, I have had a couple of cousins get married, and we were not invited to the wedding. I am from a large family, so no one was really bothered by it, until we found out that the wife's extended families were all invited. (I wasn't bothered either way, because I am not close with this cousin, but my mom and some of her siblings were hurt.)

Moral of the story, keep it as even on both sides as you feel is appropriate based on your siutation.

I wouldn't tell anyone. My aunt and uncle got married and didn't say a word to anyone! Later on when they bought a house we saw little wedding photos and when ppl asked they just brushed it off and said "oh that was our little ceremony...it wasn't big" and left it at that. People have to understand that if they aren't paying then their opinion needs to stay in their thoughts.

People will be offended. They will be offended whether they know before you do it or if you send announcements later.

My cousin did this and those of us not invited were hurt/upset. The only people she invited were their parents, grandparents, and siblings. A few people showed up to the ceremony even though they weren't invited.

We would've been less hurt/upset if she had told us herself she was doing this and if she had let us put together a little reception for her. My family regularly has covered dish get togethers, which we could have easily done for them. Heck, they went to dinner afterwards and we would've been happy to pay for our own meals there.

ETA: My family is close, so if you're family is not, maybe they wouldn't mind as much...but we see each other often, so it was odd that she did this.

Ha ha! Wow I didn't expect so many comments so quick this is awesome! I just joined this site a few minutes ago, but this is the deal....

I would love for them to be at the reception in fact I don't even want to send out wedding invites but reception invites.

everyone already knows we are getting married so no getting around that.

we want our siblings and parents at the ceremony but no one else... i was married once before and I just don't want the whole ordeal and my fiance doesn't either. We are thinking VERY SIMPLE.

My family is pretty close as well so I know a few may be offended.

My cousin got married at the court house a few months ago and didn't tell anyone until about an hour before so only a couple showed up...

I am inviting everyone who wants to come to the reception we are going to get married in the park then about two hours later have a bbq to celebrate the marriage with family and friends...

I just really worry about hurting peoples feelings!!!

Oh yeah and pricing I am not too worried about I am below budget as of now, for the reception we are doing a potluck bbq and if anyone wants to drink they have to bring their own alchol or contribute a bottle or case of beer what ever they want...

we are buying the cake of course and will have enough for everyone. As for decorations there will be a few but mostly streamers and balloons nothing too major.

We have a beautiful park picked out so hopefully we don't have to do too much decorating

I would do the ceremony and reception on separate days. Keep the ceremony quiet & have it in May. Then afterwards send out announcements/invitations to the BBQ and have it in July. That's the only way I can think of that will avoid feelings being hurt.

I know my grandparents/aunts/uncles/close friends would be really upset if they hadn't been invited to the ceremony.

I think if you are inviting people to celebrate after the ceremony there will be less people hurt that they weren't at the ceremony. But explain it just the way you just did.

"we want our siblings and parents at the ceremony but no one else... i was married once before and I just don't want the whole ordeal and my fiance doesn't either. We are thinking VERY SIMPLE."

There is NOTHING wrong with having the wedding YOU and YOUR FH want.

If I was a cousin I would not be offended at all. A potluck BBQ sounds low key and simple. If I received an invitation that stated you were having a private ceremony but a fun gathering afterwards I'd be excited to come.

When hubby and I got married we just did it. It was me, hubby, MOH, BM and my father. We got married at my BFF/MOH and her hubby/BM's house on their deck at the NJ Shore right off the water. It was perfect and we ordered food from a local restaurant and we threw on CDs, had our first dance, partied and stayed over their house.

We sent out announcements with a picture of us in my dress and his tux. We got plenty of phone calls of not so happy family members but they got over it

Yeah, I talked to my dad about it last night and his family is the ones i was worried about offending and he said as long as their is a reception they will all understand. I worded my invites like the attached photo. Everyone is invited to a reception to celebrate our marriage.

Ok I reeeeaaalllyyyy don't want to do the grammar nazi thing because I have problems with it sometimes too, but there is a typo on the invitation. It should say "invited to" not "invited too."

I'm definitely going through the same thing. We are having a destination wedding with about 35 people. Some family members are angry because they want to attend but feel that it's selfish for us to ask them to spend money on a vacation to attend. At the end of the day we have to do what makes us (brides&grooms) because it's our day !! Good luck and congrats

Christie i caught that about three mins after I placed the order and contacted them to have them fix it but thank you for pointing it out again

It will be hard not to offend someone. Maybe invite them to the ceremony and not the reception. Tough choice.

Taina I came to the conclusion that it is me and my FH's big day no one elses all that matters is us and they may be offended but they need to understand that this is about us not about impressing everyone else so far everyone has been understanding