Wishing well or honey moon funds?

@Simpleseamstress Ms.Manners wedding book? What is this book you speak of?? is it like an wedding planning book?

Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393069141/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_p3nawb6VSAN27

Thank Alexis I'll definitely look into this. Man, i sure would be lost without the WW Community!

People go off the deep end when you mention a honeyfund around here. I think it's a great idea, although I do see people's point about them charging a fee. We are having one through our cruise line and have gotten several positive comments like, "Oh that's awesome! I'm going to send you guys snorkeling!" That being said, the ladies on here have convinced me that we should also have a store registry for people who prefer to buy a traditional gift. To each his own. I don't think it's tacky at all, but then what do I know?

Edited for clarity.

I think a honeyfund in less than 5 years will lose its negative image here on WW. This community is so against it but it's becoming more and more popular and I'm not sure I really think its so bad even though FH wanted one and I was super against it because of everything I read here. Sending invitations online was once thought to be tacky and cheap and today it's just another option. Etiquette and culture are more fluid than people realize.

Just because none of your guests tell you it's tacky doesn't mean they aren't thinking it. I would side-eye the crap out of a bride/groom if they had a honeyfund but I'd never say a word to them or the other guests. You can paint it any color you like and share as many "progressive etiquette" articles that you can find, but asking for cash is and will always be tacky.

We went to our final detailing meeting yesterday and our DOC said that most gift tables these days are practically empty because everyone gives cash in a card -- she actually wanted extra decor for the table ready to go just in case she needs to make it look more full. Especially if you have a shower, people inherently know that cash is the best option. There is absolutely zero need to tell them.

I can honestly say that this is the first honey fund post that has had a balanced comments. About nine months ago when I first joined the forums this post would have been flagged by now.

I am on the I don't think a honey fund is tacky side. I don't think it's any different than a normal registry, and if people can register for items that are luxurious (high end cameras, kitchen aid mixers, roombas, etc) then I don't see why this is any different. I think that it's a nice gesture to support the couple to have an awesome honeymoon, I feel that a vacation is something that people cannot always do so why not contribute to your friends/family great experience? When a couple starts having kids vacations are different and difficult to have. The majority of people's vacations are surrounding what the kid(s) want to do , and the costs go up because you are more people. And/or your vacation time is no longer yours - it belongs to PD days, and taking time off the summer because your kid(s) are at home. It's so much easier for a couple throughout their lives to buy items from Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Target, etc., especially now with the ease of online shopping, compared to going on a romantic vacation. Yes, some honey funds take a percentage - but it's a company and that's what companies do, a lot of companies charge a service fee when you buy online.

However, if you are truly opposed to honey funds it's okay to not contribute - give cash or buy the couple a present, or nothing - really it's up to you. Like any registry, it's purely suggestion.

I was going to do one before I viewed WW. Before viewing this site, I never thought they are gift grabby or rude, but I did change my registry to an airline and Macy's. I received a wedding invite last week and the insert card with hotel info etc said they are registered at honeyfund or something. I didn't think it was rude, but I immediately decided to give them cash- I don't want some random company taking fees. Some may think it's tacky and some may not. To me, what's the difference between registering for a serving set vs snorkeling???

I personally don't mind a honeyfund. I didn't do one, but I don't mind giving you an experience. To me, the % they make off it is like the shipping charge. I can see why they are considered tacky, but to me, if my friend is already going on their honeymoon, I WANT them to have a good time. If my purchase of a meal for them, or snorkeling, or whatever makes them happy, then yay

The thing is, unless you do a honeyfund specifically through your resort and they are literally giving you a voucher for a day of snorkeling, you're just getting a check. So your guests THINK they are giving you an "experience," but really you just get the money (with a portion taken out). Then if you're on your honeymoon and don't ever feel like snorkeling, the gift giver could feel a little deceived.