Sardis
Dedicated July 2020

Will you be living close to family after marriage?

Sardis, on April 7, 2020 at 11:36 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 51
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Hello ladies hope you are all doing well. I have so many things going through my mind its driving me crazy. With that being said, how many of you live close to family? How close? How did you deal with being away from them? I am very close to my family and very much a daddy's girl. FH lives 45 mins away, at the beginning of all of this we had thought of moving to a town in the middle of both cities so that way he is not near his family nor I mines. To be fair you know. As time went by and we spoke more about it, he has a good job and all and does not want to leave his city. As the supporting wife I want to be I will be leaving my job and everything behind. I am a very sentimental person, do not take change very well. Mind you I still live with my parents and after marriage will me the first time out on my own. I have mixed emotions, about moving and all this new change that is about to happen. They say change is good and that we should not fear it because it may be better than what we thought. At the same time, I am sad, leaving my family and church behind. My parents are pastors and I have so many responsibilities at church that leaving that as well is heart breaking. Sorry for my long rant, any encouraging words or advice would be gladly appreciated.

51 Comments

Latest activity by Sardis, on April 22, 2020 at 8:42 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Honestly, 45 minutes isn't that far of a distance. You could still make that trip for church service if you wanted to. I think it's important to remind yourself that you're not losing your relationship with your parents, it's just going to be a different kind of relationship.

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  • Monica
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    I know it may seem far but it’s honestly not far at all. Over time that 45min drive will be a breeze. You can make sundays your day to go to church with your parents then maybe Sunday brunch with your parents. I live in a commuter town where a lot of events/family/things to do are in the bay area and we are used to driving 45min to an hour. Also one of our church homes are in the next town over but it takes us 30min.


    Change is scary but also good. It may take time to adjust but in the end everything is doable.
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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    Thank you. Yes thats what I keep telling myself that 45 minutes is not that far.
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  • Shamaree
    Dedicated February 2020
    Shamaree ·
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    We haven’t lived near family for years now. I moved away early though so I’ve been used to it.



    In college I was 45 minutes away from home and I visited my family every weekend freshman year. I don’t even consider that ‘going away’ for college because it was so close. So yes, it’ll be different not seeing them daily but it’s not so far that it’s really difficult to see them often.

    I moved 1000 miles away for grad school so I saw my family 1-3x a year. Now at 3000 miles away it’s about 1-2x a year. I don’t love them any less, we talk frequently (early on my husband thought it was weird that I talk to them so much) and when we have more disposable income our trips will be more frequent. My husband’s dad is about 2.5-3 hours away so we see him more often than everyone else, probably at least 4-6x a year - more for hubby because he goes alone sometimes.

    You’ll create new traditions and routines (Sunday dinner/Sunday fundays, day trips or weekend road trips monthly...whatever works) it takes some adjustment but as I mentioned it’s not so far that you can’t see them pretty often if you wanted.
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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    True thank you so much. My parents church have service on Saturday nights and his church does not, so I plan on visiting those nights that are possible. Sunday he has service as well and at the same time we di too.
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  • Addy
    Beginner October 2021
    Addy ·
    • Flag
    Hi Sardis! I’m in a simple position, however, FH lives 14 hours away. We’re both in grad school, however I’ll be done 3 years before he is, since he’s getting his PhD. In July I’ll be moving away after we get married. I’m also living with my parents and very involved in my church community. I’m sad to move away, but seeing it as a new adventure and the opportunity to meet new people and explore a new city! I’m just trying to focus on the positives, and know that my parents will still visit and we’ll go home for holidays (both our parents live in the same town). In your case, 45 minutes is still close enough that you could make weekend or even day trips! I wonder if your FH would be willing to go to your church on weekends? That way you could still be involved, but maybe not to the extent you once were. Hope that helps! 😊
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  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha ·
    • Flag

    All Of My Family Aside From My Sister Lives In Ohio. My Sister Lives In Georgia, And I Live In Virginia. My FH's Family Is Here In Virginia. I Get To See My Family Maybe Once A Year If The Military Lets Me. I Would Love To Just Be 45 Minutes Away From My Family And Friends. You Will Adjust And Make it Work. Goodluck Smiley heart

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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    Yes I am trying to change my mindset and be a little more open, and get out of my confort zone. To be honest just like you I am trying to look at it as a new adventure. FH is willing to come visit as well, he loves my parents and knows a lot of the church members as well so that is a plus.
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    Right now we live about an hour from my parents. We see them frequently, probably once every 2 weeks or so. My FH's dad lives about 3 hours from us, his sister lives about 8 hours from us. The rest of his family live about 2 day drive away. I am happy we are close to my parents and relatively close to my FFIL. 45 mins isn't too bad, I think you will probably see them more than you think.

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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    You are right, thank you. Virtual hug 😘
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I don't live far from his parents or my parents. maybe a 10 minute drive. but like PPs said, 45 minutes isn't so bad. if i were you, i would have a schedule when you see them. for instance i see my parents twice a week and his twice a week for dinners. that way, i can spend time with them and help them out when needed

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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    I think you are right, especially since even when I am at work I call mom and stuff lol🙈
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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    Thats a good idea. I think I will do that. Thank you 😘
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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    True I guess that as tines gets closer I am more nervous but I know it will be okay. Thank you 😘
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  • Tiffany
    Expert March 2020
    Tiffany ·
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    Change is hard ❤️ I’m the first born in my family so I’m the first to get married. I’m 22. My husband and I got married a week ago and we live about 15 minutes from my family and about 20 from his. However in June my family is moving overseas to Germany because my dad is in the military! His parents will still be nearby, and I’m glad, but I’m worried about my family being so far away. I also have a set of grandparents that live in town as well, but they are moving to a different state this fall. I’m taking it one day at a time. Last week we went to see his family 3 or 4 times and my family 2 or 3 times even though it was supposed to be our “just us/honeymoon/self isolation” week. Families are important! Definitely make that drive
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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    Oh wow. Yes I am the first born as well so will be the first out. I plan on making the drive as much as I can. All we can do is take it a day at a time. Congratulations and best of luck 😘😘😘
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    Forty-five minutes is nothing. I am very close to my mom and grandmother, but I live 3.5 hours from my entire family. My husband also lives 3.5 hours from his. We met our last semester of college and he had already accepted a job in Maryland. We were going to college in my hometown in Pennsylvania and he is from New Jersey. He moved to Maryland in June 2016. We hated having a long distance relationship so I moved in with him in October 2016. Up until that point, I lived my parents and siblings. It was definitely an adjustment as I couldn't see my family as much as I was used to. I talk to my mom and grandma almost ever day though.
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  • Sardis
    Dedicated July 2020
    Sardis ·
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    I bet it wasn't. Good you still keep that communication going as normal. I can see myself being like that was well.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    My husband thinks it is weird, but he barely talks to his family. In fact, I talk to his family more than he does.
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  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
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    Girl 45 minutes is going to feel like 20 minutes after the 3rd or 4th trip. I used to commute to my grad classes 4 days a week after a 8 hour work day. 50 miles each way. It was too easy. Your relationship with your parents are rooted. Your just sprinkling seeds along your new path! Good luck to you!
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