Will an uneven guest list be uncomfortable?

My FH has more family and friends invited than I do on our list but it’s pretty close.
For his brother’s wedding it was the opposite. I think she had twice as many guests from her side (and not even everyone in her family was invited). Their wedding was held where she grew up (Midwest) and most of his guests were from somewhere along the east coast so not many people could attend. There were maybe 4 guest tables (out of maybe 20) for his family/friends but when you’re actually there you don’t notice.

I have about 20 guests, whereas FH has close to 110. Our venue has a maximum capacity of 156, and FMIL wants to fill it to capacity with her friends that we've never met (which she won't do unless she pays for something wedding related 😊).
At this point I really don't care much, because my best friends that I haven't seen in 7years are coming and my family will stay together with them. Nobody is worried about the guest count and I am hoping that everyone will be nice enough to communicate between both sides of the family.

We have this same issue, so the ushers will seat guests as they come in... not by the side.

Out of 90 people invited to our wedding, only a dozen are on FH's side. It happens! Don't be too concerned.

So no ones families that have the fewer count are worried about feeling outnumbered?

I’m not as worried about the perception, more of how my family will feel.

It's fine to be uneven. My FH and I went through this early on as I come from a very large family (my mother is one of ten and my father is one of six) and he has a very small family. I told him that it's not like my side will only be there to celebrate me and vice versa. We'll be surrounded by people who love and want to celebrate us.

I don't think so. My wedding had 60 people. 10 were from my husband's side, the rest were from my side (Mom is the baby of 13 kids). No one but us noticed and everyone had a great time getting to know each other and hanging out.

Most of the wedding is me and my crew, my FI keeps a tiny circle of friends and I'm apart of a large black sorority. It is what it is. I would be offended if he or his parents was adamant that I cut my list, there would be serious conversations between he and I. Tell your mom to drop it and stop being petty.
Since we are getting married at a venue we are only putting out enough chairs plus a few extra. This will alleviate one side looking small. We are at 190? Thinking 160/170 will show. Over 100 is my side or my parents guests.

View Quoted Comment How your family feels at an event in your honor is a moot point when you think about how horrible his people will feel for not being invited. He's going to be your husband, sides don't matter. May I suggest welcome drinks the night before at a local bar if you can't afford a full welcome reception so some guests won't meet at the reception. That's what we are doing.

Don't worry about making it even. No one's family is the same exact size, no one will find it strange. Just invite the people that are important to you guys.

My fiance and I don't have separate lists, we just sat down together and typed out our family members into one guest list. So I honestly have no idea who's "side" has more.

Please let it go to avoid any conflict

I would let it be! No need to restrict his family for something they can’t even help. I have 10 in my family and my FH has over 50.

I'm in the same boat... my side of the list is about 35 and his is about 90.

My FH's family is also much larger than mine. I don't expect him to "get rid of" anyone just because I don't have "enough" family on my side. At first it did trouble me a little bit, like my side of the ceremony being bare, but we're ALL going to be family once that knot is tied

I wouldn't worry about it. I'd tell your mom it's not anything to worry about. Maybe you guys could have a BBQ this summer before the wedding to bring the two sides together and get everyone familiar with each other beforehand.

And put up a "pick a seat not a side" sign!

Edit: Nvm on the sign. I just saw that it's "stupid"

Ours is not even by any means...

My parents invited 68 friends and one family member since we have a small family

His parents invited 28 family and 20 friends

FH and I invited 170 friends of our own!

It is all different! Don't worry about it!

I think it would be unfair to tell your FH to not invite people close to him because you don't have as many. Nobody at the wedding will be counting guests and comparing.

I think it’s fine. Ours was the same way, mostly because he moved to the area that we are both living in two years before we got married and I have lived here for over 30 years. I had tons of friends in the area and my family could afford to travel if they did not live in our area. Even though our guest list was originally close to 50 -50, 75% of his list could not travel. His parents invited their out of town family to the rehearsal dinner so we could spend a little bit of private time with them since the wedding was overwhelmingly my side.

I think we have way more on my side than his I dont think that its "unfair"

Discrepancies are normal, it’s rare to have 2 families of the exact same size joining.
I’ve thought a lot about this as my family is way bigger than fh’s. He’s inviting more friends so our numbers aren’t way off in the end but I still feel like I’m kind of dominating the guest list since his friends are also my friends at this point. Still, it ultimately doesn’t matter, and most guests won’t know who all of the other guests belong to. There’s all sorts of people who will be attending who won’t know everyone there and the only people who know whose guest is whose is YOU. As long as you’re comfortable with it, I wouldn’t give it another thought