Why Weddings Are So Damn Expensive

The wedding mark up.... Ugh.

Good video! The lack of pricing info everywhere really made wedding planning hard...

FH sent this to me a few days ago. I've noticed that I've started saying that we're interested in a vendor for an 'event' now. Although I'm sure it doesn't happen everywhere, it does make me nervous!

Updo: $50. Bridal updo: $1 fillion.

Also, go blue! (I always want to say that when I see you post!)

This makes sense though some brides can be very difficult....we have all seen bridezillas!

Every wedding pro I know is sick of this fantasy, that we just charge more because it's a wedding. Guess what? Your 'family gathering' is not your wedding. It's not an (ideally) once in a lifetime event, with the expection (from the guests and the couple) of perfection. You will NOT call your baker four times and expect a tasting for a birthday cake. You will NOT expect a mockup for a simple centerpiece for a family reunion. You will NOT need perfect, camera ready hair for 12 hours for your engagement shoot.

Part of any price is time; the more you require, the more you will pay. There is a kernal of truth in the article, but seriously, it still paints us as crooks, and I'm really, really sick of that perception being perpetuated in the media.

I told my friend today that hearing the word wedding makes people add extra $$$. I stated I am going to tell people its for a birthday party lol kidding but so wish I could!

I get what you are saying Celia but what if you don't have those expectations? I had a tent rental company tell me I needed the largest fanciest tent rather than the basic one I wanted. I don't need multiple tastings or mockups. I hate how vendors try to tell me what I want. Sorry this became a rant.

Then find a company that will sell you the basic one, but have no expectation of it being a pristine, clean white tent with enough room for what you need. It'll probably be yellow and white striped......

Whatever business any of you are in, those who don't know much about it probably think you're making all the money off of them too, but you like to be paid to go to work. It definitely does take a much greater investment of time before and after the wedding than other events do. You're paying for prime real estate, part of which are the time, skill, experience, and reputation of each service provider. Not to mention personalized service.

Really dimes to donuts, I did a $400.00 intimate session today that lasted less than 2 hours in my studio. And I do 9 hour weddings with an album and engagement session for $3100.00, so really there isn't much being inflated. There are providers of all cost levels, you just have to decide which you won't, or are willing to sacrifice quality on.

I did get a much cheaper tent that is smaller but plenty big enough for my 50 guests and completely white. If it isn't perfect that's OK. None of my guests will care and I can use the $1k on other things like towards the down payment on a house.

I cannot describe to you (well I could and will) how much more work it is to DJ your wedding as opposed to your birthday party. Let's compare one in a lifetime events.

Sweet 16. Client says hey are you available for this sweet 16 and how much do you charge. I say $100 an hour. They ask about lights. I say yes. Contract gets signed. They say on see you then. Set up the playlist in about an hour. Show up about an hour early. Announce we will sing happy birthday. Tear down. Leave.

Wedding. Client says hey are you available for this Wedding and how much do you charge. I say $150 an hour. They ask about lights. I say do you want uplighting. They say yes. I say starts at $1000 flat. I ask about a must play list, do not play list, planning forms. They respond. We meet. We meet again two weeks later. They pay a deposit sign a contract. I email them a must play list, do not play list, planning forms. We talk about lighting colors. They need some time to think about it. About a month later they respond with a lighting responses. 6 months later they send back their music selections. After about 2 days and 6 hours the itinerary and playlist are done. Show up about 2 hours early. Set up. Announce the entrance, first dance, father daughter and mother son dances. Talk to the B&G before every dance btw to make sure they are ready. Grab some water. Announce annivesary dance, bouquet and garter. (None of our DJs eat or drink booze while working unless the b&g really insist.) Oh its open dancing. Take requests. Tear down. Go home.

So yeah I charge more for weddings. No because I want to rip people off but because I do 3 times the work.

Yeah, but many brides don't expect cake tastings, 12-hour photographers, or intricate centerpieces. I definitely think many vendors have a blanketed wedding-rate that they provide without first hearing any specifics about the event. Many weddings (mine included) really ARE casual family gatherings, and those of us who are having this kind of wedding shouldn't be upcharged because of the word "wedding."

Also I really think this video is really misrepresenting us vendors AND those blogs they mentioned making it seem like they are saying don't talk about price. I've seen all of book more brides videos and they clearly say yes its ok to talk about price, but there is a right way and a wrong way. They wrong way is acting like it's an inconvenience. Im glad it ended like it did because the first two thirds had me ready to send them a super long fb message. MOST, and note here Ive said most. Most wedding vendors are not trying to rip you off. Potential b&G have to realize that the product they are asking for is very different that the product of that office party they went to last Christmas. We vendors want to get paid reasonably for the amount of time we but into your wedding. And by the way, if you are price shopping and think the price is unreasonable. Move on. There are a gazillion vendors in every category with a gazillion different price points. Rant over. Soapbox gone.

It is just like everything else. You get what you pay for. It is as simple as that. If you want the frills and fluff of a pinterest wedding then don't complain about how weddings are just to expensive and just either save up for it or get what you can afford.

I understand sticker shock, I really do. Not just for weddings, but for other items. I love to shop and when I see a pair of shoes I have to have a find out they are $125 for some sandals I think "holy crap", but I love them so I'll buy all the while complaining in my head why are shoes so pricey!!

So, weddings are no different. You see an amazing centerpiece with more expensive florals you get quoted and think "holy crap" but if you like it enough you will buy it all the while you complain to yourself why weddings are so expensive.

When I first started planning I thought it was a joke what this will end up costing us. Now, after everything I get it. For example. I had my save the date down with a very high end graphic designer and paid $275 for 80 of them. They came ready to go and I just needed to purchase stamps. I was quoted for invites from the same designer about $1200 for 95 (my guest list went up). I thought it was insane. This price was a gorgeous invite (pocketfold, mounted invites, 3 inserts, a laser cut belly band) , with the RSVP envelopes stamped for me, everything stuffed and addressed- return addresses, reply addresses, and guest addresses.

I decided to DIY well kind of. I purchased a template for $35 from Etsy. It is an invitation, detail card, and reply card. After I printed them out, purchased cardstock, purchased 180 stamps, purchased envelopes I paid around $700. These are pretty invites, but I am not completely happy with them. I wanted mounting, the cardstock wasn't the ivory I thought it would be , the printed calligraphy isn't what I wanted. If I would have invested a little more money ($500!!) I would not have been spending so much time putting them together. I have to do it late at night and I am losing sleep over this! I would have loved to just cough up the money to save myself for this miserable labor and at least I would have an invite I LOVE!!! Yes, stationary is important to me. They are the first glance of what is to be expected at your wedding . I don't care if people just throw them away it is something for me, for my wedding. I am kicking myself in my ass for that one.

Bottom line what wedding pros do takes a lot of labor before and some after the wedding. So, if you include the product/service, the labor, and them available to help you answer questions you may have is worth it.

Plus, this is how they make their living! They have bills to pay and families to feed. They not only need to break even, but to make a profit to be able to afford their bills and lifestyles.

@futuremrschang Spending $1475 on STDs and invites is absolute robbery in my opinion. I was a graphic designer before I was a teacher and we never charged that much, even with hours of design involved. I DIYed my invites and they cost me around $40. How in the world did you spend $700 doing it yourself?!

$285 for printing 125 invites, detail, cards (printed return calligraphy on main envelope and our return envelope)

$72.36 to have them guest addressed in printed calligraphy

$150 for cardstock, A7 envelopes, A1 envelopes

$80 postage

$100 for my planner to do the labor of taking them to the vendors to get the printed and just giving them to be so I can stuff them

$25 for extra envelopes in case of mistakes

$35 for the design from Etsy

Total- $652.36 ($700 was just a number rounded)

I still have left over a packet of 50 pages of cardstock I plan to use for signs and escort cards. I also have envelopes (50ish) that I can use for my thank you cards

I don't think that much is robbery for STDs and Invites. Paper goods are usually 2-3% of your total budget. Our total budget is around 50k. We are pretty much on track with following our budget our planner set up for us.

I do think expectations for wedding-related services are, and should be different. And vendors should set whatever price they see fit for their services. I've been to many weddings and understand it really is hard work!

However, I think looking for vendors could be difficult when you're trying to stay budget-aware - because it's hard to find price info. When I researched for wedding photographers, 2/3 of the studio sites I looked at do not give any price info. Most just encourage you to reach them directly. I ended up contacting a few photographers that responded with price quotes completely out of my budget range - not a big deal once I got better at planning, knew where to look, and didn't feel as bad turning down vendors. But it certainly was stressful at the beginning!

Out of genuine curiosity, for vendors on the forum, do you list pricing information on your website? At least like a starting price? If not, what's the reasoning behind it?

Edit for layout

A major problem is the vendors' assumption that, "Corporate flowers, for example, there's probably going to be direction but maybe there's a little bit more flexibility... Whereas a bride has dreamt of certain flowers and she's been pinning it and she wants to talk to the florist multiple times about the bouquet and the ribbon treatment and the fact that her grandmother's brooch is going to be on that bouquet."

Some of us don't dream of certain flowers, pin them, want to talk to the florist multiple times, or want to put our grandmother's broaches on the bouquet. We spoke to the florist once, ordered standard bouquets, and were not terribly concerned about the details. (The bouquets were actually much pinker than the pictures from which we ordered, but we weren't bothered by that.) So something equivalent to corporate flowers would have been fine with us. But it's hard to persuade the vendors that this is enough, so they charge for a level of perfection that is far in excess of our actual needs. (We responded to this by cutting out all flowers except for bouquets and bouts to keep the price down.)

We were fortunate that our venues did not have special wedding pricing. At the restaurant where we took the guests after the ceremony, we ordered from one of the standard catering menus, paid the small upcharge for the use of the private dining room, but weren't charged any special wedding prices. For our at-home reception, we used a private club owned by a friend, not a traditional wedding venue. Our friend gave us a reasonable price for this area for rental, and a very reasonable price for an open bar, and allowed us to get in a couple of days early to decorate however we wanted. We also skipped certain items, like limos, that often have much higher pricing for weddings than for other occasions.

Photography was a tough one. Our budget was very small, and it just was not worthwhile for us to spend a lot of time reaching out to photographers whose rates were likely to be outside of our budget anyway. So having a lot of sites that didn't give any idea of the range of prices was frustrating. We dealt with this by checking out Craigslist, and also asking other brides for recommendations for photographers who might fit within our budget.

Cats, this is why we have prices that range from 250.00 for a simple, pretty elopement to 750.00 for a personally written ceremony with a love story, ritual elements and of course, all the legal followup (that ceremony generally takes me 10-15 hours from the first call, to samples, to multiple edits, constructing the processional blueprint, getting their early on the day, performing and then finalizing the license with the couple and the state). Three people in the park don't get (nor do they need) that type of service, but very often I find them a location and photographer if they need it.

There are pros at every level of cost in every specialty, but attention to detail always costs, and on the day of your wedding (and through all the hiccups on the way) it makes all the difference in your anxiety level.