Why Honeyfund's, cash requesting is bad for your bottom line (psychologically).

Sorry OP, but this is just your opinion and not a fact. Just like it’s my opinion that I see absolutely no difference in registering for a bunch of expensive items and having a honeymoon registry. To each their own, though.

Eh it's a fine line with gift giving at weddings. Its almost like you are holding your ability to give those kinds of gifts over the couples head in case they set it up the way you don't agree with. Different people are at different points in their lives and whats wrong with telling people what is it that they need or want in case a guests decides to give a gift anyway

I know couples who legit locked up in a room the night of the wedding to count all the checks and cash they received.. I know people who spent the cash they'd get even before the wedding (as in knew what they were going to buy with it).... that does kind of leave a bad taste in my mouth BUT you come to a wedding to celebrate the union of two people you supposedly care about - even if the couple themselves cares more about the money they are grabbing. Whatever they decide to do or however they decide to handle - its up to them.

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There is none..... people say they don't like honey funds because they don't like people asking for cash and telling them how to spend their money but you'd prefer they ask for a $500 dollar vitamix they probably wont use?

To me a registry is telling someone EXACTLY how to spend their money. IDK it seems the same to me no matter what anyone says.

I will not be having a honey fund due to this website, but NOT because i find them distasteful, nor do i think my friends would, trust me, friends and family have given me far more tacky suggestions so i know no one would find it bad etiquette despite that being the case. I just know my guests better than strangers on the internet.

Also yasss girl to amandaaok. People say make a small registry and people will give you cash, i know my friends and family and that is not the case, both sides of our family are not well off and they will want to give a gift but if i don't have a registry, they wouldn't assume i wanted cash instead. They would just assume i didn't want gifts. I plan on making a small registry because i don't need anything but there's a few things that would be cool to have, but i dont expect anyone to give me cash due to the lack of options on the registry though.

We all have our own opinions and i don't see the point in starting these posts and cash bar posts to try to sway other peoples opinions when in reality its itching for a hostile thread.

For you PP's that didn't bother reading the post and just commented that I was wrong...this isn't about whether a registry is better, a honeyfund is better, or why you are justified in asking for cash on your wedding day.

This is about the Psychology of money and how people gift. Many PP's are proving my point extensively, people don't like being told what to do and will react in a complete opposite manner just so they feel like they have some control again. I used myself as an example. This for the most part isn't opinion, marketing companies have been using this strategy for years to get you to buy stuff. People feel better about a purchase when they think it's their idea.
Stop putting your own feelings into the process.

Trends are for the anxious.

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Following that logic, people should also not have registries as if you buy a gift from it, the gift was not your idea but a suggestion from the couple. So, the couple is telling you what to do (or get).

I went back and forth with this. I don't get mad when people have honeyfunds, but I notice I tend to spend more when buying a registry gift than I do on a honeyfund. I'm not sure why! We are doing a smaller registry and that's it. So pleasing the traditional gift givers, but giving people the option to give money if they want (or no gift at all). I also don't like how honeyfunds take some of the money, even if it's a small amount. I'd rather just write the couple a check or give cash.

I feel like your feelings and opinions are in this more than anyone. Psychology is the study of behavior and the brain. Honeymoon funds are cultural. Cross Cultural psychology says for what one culture considers appropriate, it may not be for another. Considering we’ve got many cultures on his website, and just in the US alone, your post is narrow and invalid for many.

View Quoted Comment I was also confused about the “psychology” part. There is no “psychology” with money and gift giving.

This is an interesting perspective...out of curiosity how do you feel about couples who do a regular registry and then also have a money fund but without a bunch of itemized things, its just "honeymoon fund" or "house downpayment fund'? I ask because this topic came up the other day about how some people prefer to give money but they don't like giving actual cash because they never know then if the couple got the envelope or the right amount and then the check is problematic because A) they are outdated and B) putting the correct name on there. I know many people don't like to do these funds bc a cut gets taken out for their profit but as a guest, when I see a couple has one, I feel like I know they will get the cash and I don't have to deal with a check.

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Except there is.


https://www.southuniversity.edu/whoweare/newsroom/blog/the-psychology-behind-giftgiving-61911

I understand where you're coming from. Personally, I don't really prefer honeymoon funds for various reasons. The main one being it doesn't fit my preferred method of gifting. I enjoy shopping for and giving physical gifts. I even prefer gifting a gift card over cash. I notice I tend to spend more on physical gifts too.

View Quoted Comment I see what the article is saying but I still don’t agree with OP.

I wouldn't be offended at all if someone asked for cash instead of gifts.
Personally though I would feel uncomfortable asking for money. I am not a charity and don't want to feel like one. I won't even ask for cash as a birthday/ Christmas gift.

I absolutely agree with this. Any time I see a honeyfund it makes me cringe. I still gift them anyway (in a check, at the wedding) lol but it definitely turns me off a bit. And what's absolutely the worst is posting your honeyfund on Facebook for all your uninvited friends...

ETA: But honestly I don't agree with registries of any sort and they are relatively new in the scheme of things... I do not think they should have become socially acceptable.