Why grandma

I agree with most of the PPs. I'd just give grandma a +1. I think it's wrong she invited without checking with you first, but oh well. It's grandma and you want her to be happy and feel comfortable. If my grandpa wanted to ask someone outside the family we didn't already invite I'd work it out for him.

Is your wedding party not included in the 75?

Did I read that right? Your grandma was going to skip your wedding so her friend could have a seat? I've never heard of that happening.

As someone who has lost all grandparents at this point, I wouldn't use this as an opportunity for tough love. Let her bring her friend. Your time with her is so limited and this is not something to get petty about.

My FH and I are in a similar situation. We invited one of his grandfather's whose health isn't the best. We addressed it specifically to this family member. Well I received the rsvp card yesterday and it was marked as 2 coming. This second person is my FH'S grandpa's son. He wasn't originally invited so we are a bit perturbed by this. We aren't close to this person and I've actually never met him. From what I gather it sounds like this guy isn't the most desirable of people. He's has a reputation of drug use and theft. He has now unfortunately incorporated himself into attending our wedding. My FH says that it would probably be the only way to get his grandfather to our wedding since he's not capable of driving himself. I'm not super thrilled to say the least but have no idea what could be done. My FH wants his grandpa to be at the wedding. I guess we may have to keep an eye on him.

Hmm this is a tough one! But why would your grandma not go and give her invitation to someone you don't know? Really weird! Do you really think she won't go just because of that? If you are set on only 80 guest, your going to have to give her some tough love and tell her it just can't happen due to budget/venue. If you really want her for sure there, then your going to have to make an exception for this one extra guest. Really tough decision!!

OH MY Goodness!!! This is your grandmother!!!! Suck up the extra cost and let her have a companion!!!

Do it for your grandma!

This is petty and I would make a place for one person to make my grandma happy.

I'm a sucker for old people, especially my grandparents, and even more when they're widows... I wouldn't be able to say no, especially if she's thinking about not coming if she doesn't have her friend with her. You would really regret not having her there, I would think

Depends how close you are with your grandmother. If you have a close relationship I saw give her the plus 1. If not then don't. My grandmother rarely talks to me and I see her maybe 2 times a year even though she lives 5 minutes away. I wouldn't let her invite a friend but if we had a different, closer relationship I definitely would.

Please clarify: is your budget capacity 80, because after 80 the venue charges a higher rate? Or is the room capacity 80?

I say let Grandma bring who she wants. Always remember you're never promised tomorrow and this is something you don't want to come to regret later in life. All that matters at the end of the day is your married and happy.

Honestly, I would just allow my grandma to bring her neighbor. It really can't hurt.

I just lost my grandma on 12/16/2016. I know she would want her best friend there and I would blow the budget to make her happy. (Wouldn't suggest that) But 1 person won't hurt.

In regards to other people... they aren't grandma. It's much easier for me to say NO to my mom than it would be to say to my grandma.

It also depends on your relationship. My dads mom is getting her invitation and hers only. No plus 1. I think she would understand.

But for her to say I will just give her my invitation seems like she is also a little embarrassed to have already invited her and now you are saying no, I couldn't imagine her friend would go without her.

This is your Grandma! Not worth it to put your foot down on this one. If she feels more comfortable having her friend there, then LET HER HAVE HER FRIEND THERE! Some of your guests will RSVP no, so I doubt you would be over the 80 person limit anyways. And if you are over by 1 person, big deal. Its for Grandma, not for weird Uncle Joe.

One day, if you should become a grandmother/widow, you might understand why your grandmother wants to have her friend with her at a wedding. She's lost her husband, she's in the last chapter of her life, and you're lucky she has a companion with whom she's so close. That must make you feel better, on a day to day basis. It's beats knowing that she's merely existing, going to doctor's appointments, and living in solitude and boredom.

She's earned an extra seat at the table. Please, don't get hung up on the cost of an extra seat -- just give it to her as a plus one. If your mother complains, just let her know that when she hits your grandmother's age, she'll be given some extra benefits that don't necessarily originate with AARP.

If my grandma asks the answer is yes! Period point blank and end of discussion. Do it for your grandma! Geez!! All this is unnecessary

Ok talked to FH about all this he agrees I was harsh on her and if she wants the plus one she can have it but to not invite anyone else also I emailed the lady who owns the place we are getting married and explained to her and she is not going to charge us any extra for having 81. So mawmaw gets her friend.

Is this neighbor a man? Maybe your Gram and the neighbor are sweet for each other? Play matchmaker and extend the plus one to Gram. This friend whether male/female must be important to her, give her a call and reiterate that she can have plus one if it means that much.

Also Melinda, you may have declines so it may not even matter. You might still be under 80 people