Why grandma

Do it for your grandmother. One person wont kill your venue. You have to realize that grandparents are not going to be around forever and you don't want to feel guilty over something so petty when they are gone.

It was my grandpa's dream to be at my wedding, but unfortunately, he passed away in August 2016.... I would give a piece of my heart to have my grandpa at my wedding (even if he wanted to bring a friend!)

ETA:spelling

I'd say don't worry about it. Send the invite to grandma, no plus one. Have someone there (the venue) to make sure no extra guests are permitted inside. I'd go with tough love on this one.

Eh that's a tough one. I love my grandma and can't say no to her. I'd look at it as she'd have someone to hang out with and talk to.

Your relationship with grandma could be destroyed over this. Don't ruin that over one person. I'm sure grandma was thrilled to share the news with the neighbor and to invite her as a companion. Just eat the cost and salvage your relationship for heavens sake.

If it is just one person, a close friend of your Grandma I would say invite her. I mean it is your grandma. If it was a whole family then I wouldn't but one person I definitely would.

See the thing is if we let her do it then other people like my mom will want to invite more as well as his mom and me and FH are paying for it all

I would give your grandma a "guest" on her invite and tell her she can bring whoever she wants with the "guest," and make it clear that she can use it to bring the neighbor, but not to invite anyone else because you are at capacity. If she is a widow she probably has to go to lots of things alone and it would be nice if she could have a friend with her.

I mean it's one person... I'm sure your mom and FMIL already have voiced their opinion on which of their friends /family friends they may want to attend? And I'm sure they'd understand why grandma wants ONE companion to go with her, everyone else will be busy with the hustle and bustle and grandma may get lonely. IDK, I just envision it as my grandma and my family though.

ETA: And the fact that your grandma is chosing not to go if she can't bring one friend with her makes me feel like she may not want to feel 'alone' at the wedding.

I would just give her a plus one

Im with the others, give her a plus one. Grandparents need companions, let her have one. She is the exception to all rules

If your mom and FMIL push back, just say that you are not open to inviting any more people; you are making the exception for grandma because you want her to be comfortable and enjoy herself.

We just had the same issue LASTNIGHT! My FH and I are totally paying for every penny of our wedding. At first the guest count was 30 but quickly escalated to 80 due to having huge family on both sides. Needless to say, we basically invited all adults (aunts, uncles, few cousins, all grandparents) we had worded our STDs and invites to where it was clear enough to who was invited. He has aunts and uncles he hasnt spoken to or seen in 10 years, so we had only invited them NO kids. So now we have his gma asking and asking for all of the extra grandchildren to come. Its a tough situation. We thought we we're doing right by inviting long lost family and having all the siblings there. Now that we said "no" those guest aren't coming, and grandma is upset. We tried figuring it out and it would add 12 more that weren't budgeted for let alone food being wasted because all kids are picky eaters. We have bent our planning to make both sets of parents happy which is why we went from 30 to 80!! I say add the one extra person. It'll make grandma happy and let her know your sorry for not extending that invite as it is a very small and pricely event. Who knows she may not even come but at least you'll leave a part of happiness in her heart.

If you really don't have the room than there is nothing you can do unless you can cut someone else from the guest list. I would explain this to her and hope she understands. You can also wait to see if anyone from the bridal party does not need their plus one and tell grandma her friend can come if there is a spot that opens up.

Dont forget that not everyone you invite will be able to make it, meaning you will have the room anyways, so let Grandma bring a friend.

If you really don't want a stranger at your wedding, you need to see if you can hook Grandma up with other family members she enjoys. Ask them to call her and say how excited they are that they will get to be together. This should allay her need to have the neighbor. there could be a lot of different reasons she wants to invite them.... someone she knows and enjoys, someone who has done things for her and she feels this would be a nice way to say thank you. If you can find out her reason for including the neighbor you can find a solution that meets her needs. You can always remind her that her neighbor would feel obligated to buy you a gift and does she really want to make them feel like they have to spend money? That usually hits home with us fixed-incomers.

It's not right that she's pushing you to invite someone you don't know to your wedding, and even to her tell to look for an invitation. I'd be really weirded out by that. On top of it, you are paying, not her.

She would have been right to ask you if she can bring a guest since would be coming alone, which you probably should've done for her. It's kinda rude to not give guests who are coming alone a plus one, especially grandma.

ETA: words

You said your mom would want to invite more. Is she divorced or widowed? It really does sound like your grandma doesnt want to be alone at the wedding. Most people will be up dancing and having a good time. She probably just wants someone who will sit and talk with her. I would personally give her the plus one. If it was a whole family or more than one than no. But one person to make your grandma not feel alone. Why not?

Your title made me LOL - Whyyyyyy grandma

That being said, I'd give poor grandma a plus one. I miss my Ma-Maw, and she could bring anyone she wanted to my wedding. Don't let grandma be lonely at your wedding.

Give grandma a +1. You are incredibly lucky to have a living grandparent able to attend, so don't hurt your relationship with her over 1 extra person

I don't think it will open up the floodgates, as you predict. Your grandma is asking for a plus one, NOT inviting a whole bunch of strangers.