Why do people think they're entitled to a Plus One?

You keep saying she didn’t congratulate you on your engagement. I personally did not keep track of who did and didn’t congratulate us, nor did I care. I invited close friends and family. My cousin is dating someone, so they are invited too.

I don’t think anyone here is saying they can’t function at a social event without their SO. They are saying you are inviting them to an event to celebrate love, but they don’t get to be with the one they love. We have declined weddings where they invited my FH and not me because my FH said he would want me to be there to dance with and to celebrate with. If your parents are paying, I think it would be up to them.

At the end of the day ask yourself if having one extra person there will ruin your day, if not, then I say invite him. We didn’t argue anyone on a plus one because we want our guests to be happy and enjoy themselves. If that means bringing a date, then we made sure we could accommodate.

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Yes, it's rude that she did this. However, she obviously just made the assumption, because to her, maybe she feels its a serious relationship, even though you didn't know about it. I would include him, as he could stay in her life long term. Plus, a lot could happen in a year, they may not even be together.

The blame is also really on your parents and your aunt who passed the link along without knowing whether or not she was on the invite list.

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I don't mean that the couple will break up because of this, I mean you shouldn't separate people on invitations when they are part of a couple. It's not about "not being able to function without their SO" it's about respecting their relationship as adult people. Even if you disagree, it's still rude. That being said, i'm surprised you invited this person in the first place if you're not at all close to her and have never really spoken, even if she is family.

My advice in this particular situation would be to just let it go and allow the BF to attend. It will ruffle fewer feathers and in the grand scheme of things is not that big of a deal.

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I have multiple step cousins whom I am not close with since my parents got married when I was a teenager, and we live in Florida and they live in Pennsylvania so I only see them once every couple of years at family gathering. However, most of them took the time to text me congratulations but her. It doesn't matter to me that she didn't congratulate us because your'e right, she is essentially a stranger to me. But I am upset that she assumed she could bring a guest without even talking to me first. If I'm not important enough for her to take 2 seconds and write up a nice text, she sure isn't important enough for me to allow her a guest. I have to invite her because of my parents, but I hope she'd decline after seeing that she does not get to bring a guest.

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My fiance and I do keep track of who did and didn't congratulate us, and we're using it as a guideline on who we invite. In the age of technology and social media, it takes almost no effort to congratulate someone on their life achievements. You are a bride to be too, so you know how much effort goes into wedding planning. A wedding is not a charity event, we'd prefer not to spend all this time and money just to cater some strangers who could not care less about us.

My parents are paying for less than 40% of the wedding, and we are paying for the rest ourselves. So they have their share of invites, and they're at their capacity just with family members (we have a rather large family).

At the end of the day, having one extra person there will not ruin my day, but allowing her a guest might. We have single friends who told us they do not need a plus one, and if they fall in love between now and our wedding we'd be more than happy to accommodate them. Because these people have showed us that they care about us, and we would do anything within our power to make sure they have a great night as well. This step cousin, however, doesn't seem like she care for us at all, so she does not deserve the same treatment.

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I did not personally invite her, my parents did. I have to send her an invitation because of my parents, but I really hope she would decline because I'd really prefer her absence.

Let me ask you this, is it considered rude that she did not say anything about our engagement and bluntly assume that she can bring someone without even talking to us first? She did not respect our relationship as adult people, so why would I respect hers? We are sticking to our no stranger rule so her boyfriend would not be invited. I honestly do not care if I'm being rude and she hates me over it; it is our wedding day after all, so if you don't give two fxxks about us (which she so obviously shows), you don't get to come.

I'm not really sure what you're looking for with this post other than validation, since you asked for thoughts and are arguing with people who don't agree with you.

It's rude that she assumed she could add her SO without discussing it with you first, but now that you know that she has a SO it's rude for you to not invite him.

Her not congratulating you on the engagement is not only not rude, but not necessary or important at all. That's nothing to even think about, never mind be so upset over. So she didn't give you attention? Big deal.

It's clear that you don't care about being rude to her, and that you don't even seem to like her or want her to attend the wedding. You should have taken more control over the guest list if you don't want to invite extended family members you have no relationship with. Inviting people you don't want there and being rude to them hoping they don't come isn't the way to handle it.

View Quoted Comment So much this. What you’re angry about has nothing to do with a +1. You don’t want your cousin at your wedding, but you gave up control over your guest list so now you’re stuck and want to take out on her by not giving her a +1. If you felt so strongly about who was going to be invited (tracking congratulations, seriously?) then you shouldn’t have offered your parents a say in the guest list. If I was this cousin I wouldn’t go near your wedding, so you probably don’t have anything to worry about.

Frankly, she is not the one acting like a child here; you are.

I have been invited to weddings where the invitation was not extended to my FH and have happily attended. While etiquette might dictate that any person with a SO gets invited as a couple, everyone’s circumstances are different. I would use etiquette as a guideline and if you don’t want to invite him (or her for that matter) you’re not obligated too just because etiquette suggests that you should. As long as you’re prepared that she may decline, which it sounds like you are.