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Super July 2014

Why do people speak so negatively about marriage?

Blessed.com, on October 8, 2013 at 3:32 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 16
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What a shame! I have heard very nice things (great advice and jokes) and I have heard some very disturbing things (marriage ruins things, wait until your older, yadda yadda yadda) about marriage. I prefer to hear the good things because every relationship is different. Has anyone come in contact with a bitter individual who spoke badly about marriage? How did you handle it?

16 Comments

  • Amanda
    Super October 2013
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    I have had many many people say negative things to me. Most of them are in a joking manner but still would bother me. I learned to just humor them with a half chuckle or short response and then not think about it anymore. Like you said, every relationship is different. My parents, who have been married for 31 years, have had their share of ups and downs but they have never been negative about marriage. Just let it roll off...

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  • Soonyee
    VIP June 2013
    Soonyee ·
    • Flag

    I just remember that one person's experiences can often dictate the advice they give. Some people that have been through divorces or ended up unhappy in marriage so they may feel negatively about it.

    I got married young (22 & 23, just weeks after college graduation) and I got a lot of negative advice from people who married young with failed marriages. They told me to rethink it, that I was too young. I value other people's opinions. They helped me solidify my decision to marry my husband.

    I never let the opinions of those people change how I felt about my husband, my relationship or my readiness for marriage. I feel strongly about marriage, and try my hardest to honor, cherish and constantly improve it. As long as I am happy and my marriage is working, I just let negativity go in one ear and out the other.

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  • Julie
    Expert October 2013
    Julie ·
    • Flag

    My office threw a little party for me and everyone went around the table saying something and most of them had negative things to say but wished me the best. Most of them were divorced too.

    I think people expect perfection and you have to know that the other person isn't going to be perfect and love them for who they are. If you expect to change them you'll fail, and if you expect to change yourself you may not suceed in that either.

    Or it could be the other way around, people change after they get married. But these may be the crazy ones, I mean how was anyone supposed to know.

    I don't thiink about all the negative comments. In this day and age people do everything a married couple does without being married and they're happy and then get married and aren't happy? that makes no sense to me. If you're with the right person whether married or not you should be happy.

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  • Lindylu22
    Master October 2013
    Lindylu22 ·
    • Flag

    I think those people that talk so bad about marriage married the wrong people.

    • Reply
  • Jess08
    Super July 2013
    Jess08 ·
    • Flag

    Hmm... A couple but not many... One who's never been married has made comments about other people getting married to my face like they won't last or they're rushing it and won't last but never said it to my face about my marriage.

    At an office party one said it was over to my husband and another said it's too late talk us out of mistake of a thing called marriage (that one is still married) but many others just gave advice on when to have children or to continue dating each other even though we're married.

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  • Valerie
    VIP September 2013
    Valerie ·
    • Flag

    Alot of people in my office, all who have been divorced, were very negative about my engagement when I announced it. I thought it was incredibly rude of them. I am starting out on a new chapter in my life, and they have to bring their negativity into it. Total buzz kill.

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  • Belais
    VIP October 2013
    Belais ·
    • Flag

    For whatever reason, it seems that people don't say negative things to me....but at my cousin's bachelorette party, it seemed like every other person we saw had something negative to say...and some people will say negative things about marriage to my FI as well. :/

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Master May 2013
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    I didn't hear anything negative that wasn't a joke. I think the marriage jokes are funny.

    • Reply
  • kysweetheart
    Super October 2013
    kysweetheart ·
    • Flag

    I completely understand. when i got engaged, i was bombarded by negative people. it was so overwhelming to me. even people who i thought were happily married, said the worst things about marriage. i began even questioning why i was getting married...it really effected me. and then i started staying clear of people like that and surrounding myself with a more positive group and things got so much better...like i had seen the light all over again! now i only hear what i want to hear!

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  • B
    Super July 2014
    Blessed.com ·
    • Flag

    Thanks ladies!

    I'm with you all. Smile, ignore and walk away!

    • Reply
  • Out the Window
    Master May 2014
    Out the Window ·
    • Flag

    Any negativity I have ever heard were from divorced people. Not my problem you married someone obviously wrong for you.

    • Reply
  • Christina
    VIP March 2014
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    Yeah, I hate hearing people say how marriage is a mistake or "don't do it" or anything negative. I agree a lot of people marry the wrong people or just marry for the wrong reasons. It doesn't mean I am!

    • Reply
  • M2H
    Master September 2013
    M2H ·
    • Flag

    Truth is more people expect divorce over a lasting sucessful marriage nowadays.

    Those people that are saying negative things are the people that don't understand or don't want to even try to understand what makes a good marriage and a long lasting, good relationship. Peoples views on commitment to each other have been skewed in our generation and they would rather be "an independant woman, who doesn't need a man to support her or make her happy," or a man who "just wants to sleep around and have a spouse that is ok with it." Marriage isn't about doing what you want and giving up instead of putting in the time and work to make it last, but most poeple seem to think like that now.

    Marriage and a relationship with the person you love takes work, sacrifices, commitment, and respect but nobody wants to do that anymore so they get divorced and have a bitter view on marriage and love and they go and pread that unwanted negativity.

    TLDR: People are selfish a-holes now. lol

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  • Frenchi3
    Devoted May 2014
    Frenchi3 ·
    • Flag

    No two marriages are alike, so what may work or not work for them is not your problem. I got married in my early 20's and is still married. We will be renewing our vows for our 20th Anniversary. Believe in your marriage and make sure that God is first in it and everything will work out. Some people are just pure haters of other people's happiness. Remember misery loves company. Congrats and may you both be BLESSED.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.L
    Master October 2011
    Mrs.L ·
    • Flag

    Misery loves company. People can be bitter. OTW you took the words right out of my mouth!

    • Reply
  • E
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Eloise ·
    • Flag

    I strongly believe people who have so many negative things about marriage were married to the wrong person. My mother is always saying negative things about marriage because her marriage did not work out. What she says I do not based my feelings of marriage on. I married on August 25, 2018 and it was beautiful ceremony and I married a wonderful man. When she talks negative about marriage around my husband and I. We just let it go through one ear and out the other. It is truly sad to base what happened in your previous marriage on whether or not you choose to be with someone or not. There is no way I will give my ex-husband that much power to dictate the choice of not being with someone else. He has somehow married for the second time and it has been for over thirty-years.

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