Why are weddings so expensive?

This is exactly why my FH and I opted for a romantic elopement followed by a wedding celebration at home. The costs are horrendous and our 11k budget was being stretched to the max. It wasn't worth it for us to spend so much to impress and please other people when we could have a romantic day, amazing honeymoon and down payment on a house. Good luck!

Call it an anniversary and see if that changes anything lol.

Weddings are only as expensive as we allow them to be. A couple hundred bucks, best outfits, license and a judge are all you REALLY need. We make it more expensive, by deciding that people who wouldn't feed us period, deserve $100/head 5 course meals.

Me? I'm spending about $2k on a 35-50 guest evening. Actually, a whole damned weekend!

I know what you mean about how the price shoots up when you put "wedding" in front of anything. One florist I contacted would do a normal bunch of the flowers I want for around £25. As soon as I said it was for a wedding the price of those same flowers shot up to £60 with the statement "wedding bouquets start at £60". Yes, but it's the same damn bouquet!! I didn't go with her…

Most people say the best way to keep the costs down is cut the guest list if possible. I'm having a smallish wedding (approx 76 guests), DIYing the hell out of everything (invitations, thank you cards, decorations, centrepieces, favours, bouquets, you name it, I'm making it!), my dress only cost £150 including postage, and yet we're still at the £15k mark because of the venue and catering. We decided to bite the bullet and go with the venue we loved and that is where most of the money is going.

All I can suggest is to keep looking for better deals and be realistic about what people will remember from the day. What is important is that you'll be married.

My best advice is search and search and search for caterers. Just when you think you've found every option possible in your area, search again. I thought I was going to have to give in and spend more than I wanted, but then I uncovered a couple of caterers that for my budget. Also, be firm. Don't let them quote you for more than you told then you want to spend.

While some vendors do unfairly raise prices, in some situations, it's just a matter of the standards usually associated with a weddding. As a DJ, if someone wants me to play music for a BBQ, they probably literally only want me to setup a playlist and be background music. That's *very* different than what is expected of me (and what I deliver) at weddings, though if someone booked me to literally be the equivalent of background music at their small reception, my price wold be the same as the BBQ.

That florist, Jemma, presumably the situation changed from a simple 'I want a bouquet of some roses' that can be ready whenever they can make it, to a wedding item, which you will want designed and ready at a very specific time. Maybe that's not worth them doubling it, but they know it's not *just* a bouquet of flowers for someone's bday, anymore. There are expectations.

With catering,.. even a crappy meal from fast food costs $6 per person, but you're asking someone to prepare, transport, and serve food on dishes for 150+ people all at once, with little margin for error, not to mention you're also paying the people who are doing all the work (like cleaning it all up for you) and I'm sure you expect it to be better than a Big Mac and fries.

Easiest ways to save money at a reception is to invite fewer people - food costs are the highest item, usually. 150 guests instead of 200 will usually save $750-$2000. Next is to go BBQ style with paper plates and very simple food you do yourself, maybe from Sams or Costco. The negative there is that you will have to volunteer people, usually family members, to do the work for you, like setting up and cleaning up.

Have an afternoon ceremony at 1pm so you dont have to serve a full meal, just cake and champagne and musicians.

We arent doing a wedding cake, or a photographer, and were doing our own flowers. Also, if you pick a gorgeous venue like a garden, you dont have to pay alot for decor.

I know when I worked for a hotel, weddings were given somewhat higher quotes than comparable business events. One, like Robert points out, is that expectations are much higher. Everything must be "just so" because it's such an important day. Two, brides are very different to work with than professional meeting planners. Brides are higher maintenance, tend to change their minds a lot, and have more cooks in the kitchen (moms, the groom, etc), than a business event. This means a much bigger investment of time and effort for the catering manager. Three, weddings tend to be on weekends, so you have to bring in staff who would otherwise have the day off. Four, there are multiple outside vendors who need to be juggled. A wedding for 150 is a much different ballgame than a business luncheon for 150.

However, that doesn't mean you're doomed to pay through the nose for everything. First, take a look at your guest list and cut, cut, CUT. If you wouldn't take them out to dinner, why have them at your wedding? Look to unconventional catering, such as barbecue or ethnic food (pasta bar, anyone?). Limit your bar to beer and wine, and maybe a signature drink, and try to bring in your own via a wholesaler who will let you return unopened bottles. (Though if you go this route, hire a bartender for liability reasons and so guests don't help themselves to the leftovers at the end of the reception - yes, that does happen!).

I agree with an afternoon wedding. Some people are having Sunday or Friday weddings to save costs too. Personally, we are doing a catered BBQ dinner that is only $10/plate and includes everything from food to sweet tea to utensils. I'm not sure if things like that are offered in your area, but it definitely helped.

I'm not sure how you have your account set up, but send me a friend request and I can suggest some very good sources for advice on how you can still have a fun wedding without having to break the bank.

I feel the same way you do. I don't want to bash the plans that others have made and feel it's the way to go, but I consider myself to be a off beat bride and I'm having what I consider to be a practical wedding.

as a result of my doing things this way I'm getting the wedding I want, guests are thrilled and my groom is off the hook for having to do things in a way he just doesn't want because someone said at some point that it was the acceptable way.

send me a invite!

My fiance and I managed to stay under 10k...we booked our venue and made sure that it allowed outside caterers...we also booked thia lady who is all inclusive (food, drinks, decorations, and cake). She has a little business but my sister in law used her for her wedding a few years ago abd had a great experience...

I suggest finding little businesses/people who do it on the side and see how much they would charge...this really helped cut down the cost for us.

10k for 200 people isn't bad at all!

I do not think people understand that there is a lot more expected of vendors for a wedding which is why a lot charge a premium. At the same time, a lot of vendors really do not care one way or another. For example, BBQ catering is pretty much $12-$16 a person - no matter if it is at the country fair or at a fancy wedding. Flowers were the same thing - unless I wanted extras like fancy wrapped lace, charms or other embellishments on the wrap etc. Our florist can make $200 bouquets, but for what I wanted she said $20 for fall wild flowers. Photographers will take **** pictures and then edit them and present them to you in a professional manner. I edit photos for my job and believe me, it is a daunting task and it takes for ever. A 25 shot family session is not even remotely the same as wedding photography.

How many people are you having. You're getting married in Sam Diego? Maybe I can help.

Some suggested an afternoon wedding and I just want to comment. I was planning on an afternoon wedding to save on food costs, but when I told my mom she was really upset. She said how can you expect people to fly in from out of town just to attend a lunch and be gone by dinner time. She felt that it would seem rude to kind of push them out early just so I don't have to serve dinner.

My fiancé and I are getting married in the Northern Neck of Virginia this coming fall and we're having such a hard time staying in our budget. Where we wanted an open bar at first, we've decided to change it to just a cocktail hour followed by a cash bar to save on costs. We don't have many drinkers coming to the reception, so we figured those who want a drink will pay for it rather than us spending around $45/person over 21. While we've already cut our guest list from 227 down to 177, our church only holds 150. Granted everyone we invite won't be able to come, 117 of the guests are family. We've cut a couple aunts and uncles out as well as second cousins, but the rest of our family is fairly tightly knit. While we aren't opposed to having a BBQ dinner, we haven't been able to find a caterer that doesn't charge the upward of $75/plate. Another thing we're considering is that 22 of those guests are 10 and under and won't need a full plate, especially the 8 that are under 5. Although the reception venue we like is $2800 for the night, we are able to change the location if necessary to the backyard of a family member that lives on the water and has a fairly big property. Another place we're struggling to stay in budget is the photographer. We've gotten quotes from 3 around the area, but they are all $500 - $1000 over what we have planned to spend. We've already decided we are going to have minimal flowers due to costs as well as my allergies. Our bridesmaids will have small bouquets and mine will not be much bigger.

We're having our wedding in late October of this year, so if anyone knows any vendors in my area, it would be greatly appreciated if you could name a few!

Call it a family gathering or reunion or something like that. My friend when she was married she told the florist it was for a family reunion and got a much better price.

Of course this doesn't work with everything, the photographer and wedding dress are obviously for a wedding and you can't call those something else. lol. Flowers, food and venue are places where the difference of a wedding or reunion wouldn't make a difference other then price (that's what I think).

Weddings are expensive because of the hype that goes with them and people let them be expensive.

Please don't lie on your contract (or verbally). It gives your vendors every right to cancel on you because of fraud.

If you ask me to show up "just to notarize a document" you're liable to get me in jeans and no make-up, no ceremony prepared, no keepsakes for you, etc.

Don't lie to your vendors. Any good, professional one will want this to be as nice, appropriate and professionally run as you do, and they'll help you make that happen. A wedding, in most cases, is not a party. It's an (ideally) once in a lifetime event that is loaded with expectations, hopes and dreams. I'm not being corny; I"m being factual. If you want to order a tray of sandwiches and some salads, buy some potted plants and throw on the Ipod, you can still get married;you'll be just as wedded at the end; it's just not the scenario everyone imagines. Every product or service you buy is available at various price levels, and a wedding, which drags so much baggage with it, requires more planning, more maintenance, more attention to details and more discerning production that almost any other event I can think of. If the centerpieces at your cousin's birthday party aren't exactly right, it's not a big dea. If the wedding centerpieces aren't right, heads roll, instagrams are posted, and couples are disappointed on a day they can't get back.

A lot of why weddings are so expensive can be directly linked to the expectations created and nurtured by the media and, I hate to say it, the couples themselves. The 'industry' just tries to create the products that you've been convinced are essential. It is totally possible to get married without most of the stuff that you're told you have to have to nice wedding. You don't need favors, catered after parties, hangers with names on them, sequined hoodies, multi day bachelorette parties or 200 guests, but you've been told this is normal. And you think it's all small stuff, but it all adds up. You can do a simple brunch for your immediate family, a really nice dinner for your close friends and stay in your budget. The fastest growing segment of my business is semi elopements, with 10-30 guests and a nice little party to follow; no wedding party, minimal decor, shorter photography time, no limos, no video, very little stress.

I understand. It didn't matter if we wanted a venue in DC, inside the beltway, or an hour and a half outside the city, they all cost the same! It was like someone went out and said, "how much are people willing to spend" and then set that as the cost. Unreal.

We did get our venue, then picked two caterers. We were very open about choosing between them and that got them to negotiate down. We saved maybe a $1000-$2000 right there. We are so thrilled with our choice, too! Given how much goes into a wedding, when we looked at the budget breakdown, everything made sense. We think we got a fair, good deal.

It's good to be up front about your budget, I think, then it gives the vendor the ability to match your expectations. Some people flat out said, you can't afford us, and we moved on. It was better to not have to make that decision ourselves.

We also had everyone chip in. Brides parents, Grooms parents, Bride and Groom. Since we are 28-30, we've been able to save up and contribute.

Lastly, we will do our own flowers. SO MANY people at out church volunteered to help us the day before. I will bulk order them online and just get some artistic people to put them together. Florists are too much fluff money.

Celia hit the nail on the head in this post.

Am I paying a lot for my venue? Yes of course, but like she said it isn't a birthday party. It is a wedding. There are expectations. You know how many times a month I email the woman at my venue asking her questions about different things I can or cannot do or different decor? There is a huge difference in service you receive when it's a wedding compared to a cookout or birthday party.

Thanks everyone for your tips, suggestions, and opinions. I agree there are higher stakes with a wedding and understand from a vendor's perspective. What I don't agree with is charging an arm and a leg for a dinner reception, let's say at a hotel, vs. only an arm for the same meal for a business affair. It's the same mediocre food, just different prices because of semantics.