Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes June 2022

Who to choose for moh

Lindsey, on March 2, 2021 at 9:52 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9

Saved

Flag
Hide content

I’m a little conflicted now as to who I should put as my Maid of Honor at my wedding. I was set on putting my best friend as MOH, but then my cousin just recently got engaged and asked me to be her MOH. Now I feel all sorts of guilty and conflicted about this. I wasn’t intending to put her as MOH, only as a bridesmaid, but I don’t want us to lose our bond if she gets upset that I didn’t choose her to be my MOH as well. Her and I are extremely close, but I’m just closer with my best friend and truly would rather her be maid of honor.
Has anyone had any similar experiences to this? Or just any advice on the matter? I know I’m going to have to have this conversation with her eventually, I just don’t know how to go about it.

Flag
Hide content

9 Comments

Latest activity by Georgia, on March 6, 2021 at 8:52 AM

Legend July 2022
Lisa · on March 2, 2021 at 9:56 AM
Flag

Hide content
You could ask them both to be co-MOHs! Otherwise, if you only want one MOH, I would stick with your best friend, since you said you'd rather she be your MOH. Don't choose anyone out of obligation or just because they asked you to be MOH in their wedding. If you choose to ask your cousin to be a MOH, only do so if it's what you genuinely want, and not just because she asked you to be her MOH.
- Reply
Expert November 2021
Sara · on March 2, 2021 at 10:44 AM
Flag

Hide content
Can you make them co-MOHs? Or, if your cousin is getting married first, you could make her the matron of honor and your best friend MOH. Just some ideas!
- Reply
Super October 2023
Alyssa · on March 2, 2021 at 11:50 AM
Flag

Hide content
If she's already asked does that mean her wedding is happening sooner? If so she could be Matron of Honor instead of maid of honor. Although you shouldn't feel obligated. I plan on having one maid and one matron of honor, and the person I'm having be my Matron of honor didn't have me in her bridal party. We talked constantly about her wedding and never once did I feel hurt I wasn't in it. A mature grown adult is not going to be offended over something so trivial.
- Reply
Master January 2022
SLY · on March 2, 2021 at 12:00 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

This!!
NEVER choose someone because you feel obligated. I was a bridesmaid in one of my friends' weddings and she's not in my bridal party. I'm not regretting my decision, nor is she holding a grudge against me on it. If you want your best friend to be your MOH, then she should be your MOH.
- Reply
Champion December 2022
Michelle · on March 2, 2021 at 12:06 PM
Flag

Hide content
People should never ask to be a bridesmaid. That would be a no from me. The position belongs to your nearest dearest most supportive person. For many that is a sister or a best friend. It should be something you have to think about.
Obligation needs to go off and die. Do not invite anyone out of obligation to please others or put someone in an honor position out of obligation.
- Reply
Super May 2019
KYLIE · on March 2, 2021 at 2:30 PM
Flag

Hide content
Choose who you want! Yes, there may be hurt feelings (I had a friend who definitely thought she was going to be my MoH who was not, and she was really upset), but that's much better than having any sort of regret or having to navigate any drama that could come from having co-MoHs. (Not saying that's always the case, but sometimes.)
- Reply
Savvy June 2022
Rebecca · on March 3, 2021 at 9:29 AM
Flag

Hide content
If your cousin is getting married first you can have her as Matron of Honor, while best friend is Maid of Honor?
But if you are only having one, you should pick the person you are most closest to. If you would rather the best friend, then you should pick the best friend.
- Reply
Expert April 2022
Fred · on March 6, 2021 at 7:35 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I definitely agree with this.
Nothing more to add.
- Reply

Savvy May 2022
Georgia · on March 6, 2021 at 8:52 AM
Flag

Hide content
If she hasn't asked, you don't really have to do anything about it, or even think about it except stick with your original idea of making the friend a BM. I mean just because you are a MoH in someone's wedding, doesn't mean that person has to be your MoH.
Even is she did ask, it is bad etiquette to ask to be a bridesmaid or MoH.
- Reply