Who to ask to help with your wedding?

Hire at least a day of coordinator to help!
Do your basic planning like your budget and venue and guest list before getting bogged in the details of who can be an usher and what is my friend going to do.

Generally it’s frowned upon to recruit family members and friends to help out. The idea is that you and your FS (and possibly parents depending on their involvement) plan the wedding yourselves with the notion of hiring a day of coordinator to receive the guests and let them and vendors know where to be. Now, I understand a DOC may not be in the budget, but guest list directly correlates with how much a wedding will cost. When I first got engaged, I wanted 250+ people which covered pretty much everyone I ever knew and felt I wanted to share my day with. But at the end of the day, my budget wouldn’t be able to properly host everyone so I cut the list, and now our guests will have to do nothing but show up and enjoy the great food and alcohol.

I would hire a day of coordinator. Let your guests enjoy themselves and you can rely on a professional.

Don't use people when a very simple sign will do.

We have our budget, venue, photographer, caterer and guest list all done! We are planning on 250 - 300 depending on how many RSVP from our guest list. Would you advise not having family or friends to be ushers as well then?

View Quoted Comment

I never understood what an usher was for. Honestly, people can find their own seats.

If you want someone to do a "job" at the wedding, then they are part of the wedding party and get treated the same. My sister is not a bridesmaid but she's doing our guestbook so she's part of our wedding party.

View Quoted Comment

Thats what I was thinking! But is it considered "rude" to say someone is in the bridal party without them being a bridesmaid?

Let your family and friends just be guests. Yes, doing a job like you described might be exciting for a teen. For an adult, it would be a bit insulting. It's like saying, "you're not a bridesmaid, but stand here for 30 minutes telling people where the guest book is and where to put my presents". What adult would want to do that?

View Quoted Comment

I've also done it once as an adult. My college roommate asked me to act as her "guestbook attendant" and I definitely accepted and loved that she wanted to have me included in her day. But I don't think other people see it that way.

If you're worried about people finding the guest book (I don't think you should be btw. I've never seen anyone have difficulty finding the guest book) I think a simple sign would suffice.

View Quoted Comment A sign doesn’t seem very personable. Shouldn’t guests be greeted at a wedding?

View Quoted Comment The only people who have greeted me at a wedding were hired staff.

View Quoted Comment

Thats interesting! I have never been greeting by "staff" at a wedding. Seems a little less personal to me to be greeted by someone who is a complete stranger to the bride and groom. But its not a bad suggestion!

You're hesitating because you know it's rude. No guest should be treated like a hired usher. No one needs to be greeted at a wedding. Hired staff does this. Let your guests be guests. If you want at 250-person wedding, then you need to pay for it, including hiring staff to take care of details such as this.

View Quoted Comment For the most part, there usually isn't someone greeting guests. Do you really see it often? I've never been greeted by a friend or relative of the bride and groom. There's been a few times when upon arrival, wait staff give us champagne or the coordinator points us in the direction of the seating, but that has been rare.

View Quoted Comment Staff at our wedding greeted guests with trays of champagne when they arrived. Our families were already there in the lobby with their drinks so as guests arrived, they just started talking to whoever they knew. I also don’t think this is necessary unless someone is begging to let them do something.

View Quoted Comment And someone else made a comment to that degree. To which I asked if having ushers to seat people is also rude?

View Quoted Comment I feel like ushers aren't a thing anymore. Haven't seen them in a wedding in years. People can find their own seats.

Well thanks for everyone’s input! We are from the Midwest so maybe things are different where you are from but I think we will have ushers and attendants for our guests! I appreciate everyone’s stance and I think I know what will work best for my fiancé and I and the type of feel we want our wedding to have!