Who should pay for most of wedding?

Even if your parents could pay for all of it, why would you expect them to pay for something that's not for them? My mother (my father has passed) and his father (his mother also passed) could both easily afford a much bigger wedding than we want. But we wouldn't dream of asking them to pay or expect them to pay for our wedding.

Allow them to come to you for help keep your ears open for what they may need help with and offer half or whatever is good for you.

The couple should be paying for the wedding. If you feel like you want to contribute feel free to. But the bride's family is not obligated, if they want to contribute they will.

No need to ask.

The bride and groom. Not you

@CattiLabelle, exactly. It's pretty shocking that some women here believe all parents can / should hand their children a giant party and luxury vacation.

The bride and groom should pay for their own wedding. If parents can help, sure. If not, that's ok, too.

My Dad paid for the majority of our wedding. He mentioned a budget back when I was 25 and with my ex. I am 38 and when I got engaged to FH he through out a number. He is traditional and would have been really hurt if I had not allowed him to pay for the wedding. My Mom offered to buy the dress early on. I made sure to manage the money and would run things but him just in case. He honestly didn't care how I didn't the money. Which was really nice!! If it had come with strings I would have had to turn him down. Anything extra we paid for ourselves like bar tab, rings, hair, makeup, tux rental, and some incidentals. FH parents don't have a lot of money but I think they felt obligated because they knew my Dad was paying. They each contributed what they could which was greatly appreciated.

My FH and his family are coming over from the UK for us to get married because my parents don't fly and it's just easier for immigration purposes.

I am footing the bill for the entire thing. My parents have not offered a single penny and likely won't, as they paid for their own wedding as well.

If you can or would like to contribute to something, Rehearsal dinner or morning after brunch, that would be greatly appreciated, I'm sure.

You don't pay for a lick unless you offer anything. The bride and groom pay for everything.

There are no set rules. No, the couple does not have to pay for everything, and no, the parents don't have to pay. It depends on your individual situation. I wouldn't ask the other parents to pay if I were you. The couple should be figuring this out. In my situation, our parents are paying for our wedding. But, not everyone is in that situation. You should bring it up to the couple, not the other parents, and let them figure out how to handle it going forward.

I agree that most modern couples pay for their own weddings and either side can decide to contribute what they would like to (within their means).

I would like to add that because the wedding will be in your area (and it seems that you are interested in offering some help), it would be a nice gesture to host the rehearsal dinner as a way to host all the out of towners that are making the big trip from west coast to east coast.

We're pretty much exactly this situation. My family is from California, we live in NJ along with his family. FH and I are paying for our own wedding without the expectation of our parents helping.

Kate, if FFIL said that to my mom or dad, they would have said, wow, great that our daughter is marrying into such a traditional family. So your son will be paying for honeymoon and all household expenses after that, and our daughter will just work for pin money. Sounds great to us. Out of 1939 Emily Post, but we can deal with it.

Kate, if FFIL said that to my mom or dad, they would have said, wow, great that our daughter is marrying into such a traditional family. So your son will be paying for honeymoon and all household expenses after that, and our daughter will just work for pin money. Sounds great to us. Out of 1939 Emily Post, but we can deal with it.

Bride and Groom. If you can help that's great but you're not obligated.

FH and I did not even expect offers from our parents to contribute. We are fortunate that both of our parents are willing to help out, but in the end its the couple getting married's responsibility.