Who pays for the wedding the groom or the bride?

It really does depend on both your cultures of origin. It would be very US centric of me to say that that the bride and groom should pay, and even that would not be quite accurate - there are lots of families in the US thar, for various cultural, financial, etc reasons the brides or grooms parents would pay.
Many years ago my ex husbands brother married a woman from Mexico (they are still married) and this very issue caused a lot of upset and bad feelings during the wedding planning process. No one went into it with bad intentions, it was literally a clash of cultures. In the end they went with the groom paying, mostly because she was going to be leaving the border city they lived in when he transferred to the northwest, and he did not want to have her leave her family under a dark cloud. But it did put a big strain on the planning and they admit they fought a lot. She felt he was disrespecting her parents and culture and he felt they saw him as a wallet. They thought about eloping but were very Catholic and that was a priority for them.

View Quoted Comment My FH is Hispanic and was born here. He was married before and he paid for the whole wedding himself. His parents arent really part of our lives and his dad and step mom wont be attending our wedding as is so he paid for my dress.. I'm my parents youngest daughter so they definitely want to pay for mine but also paid for my sister's wedding when she was married.

View Quoted Comment Girl for me, its my parents i was born here in the united states, but i still have their roots, so their making it difficult for me to be stress free... my fh is fully white and doesn’t understand my parents culture. Which neither did i since i never thought i would ever get married and so its causing a lot of arguing and questions in the air of who is doing what... and im so emotional, but my fh doesnt want to elope either he wants a fully church wedding and i even converted christian for him because i love him so much we been together for 6 years and my families cultural difference which i dont follow is making it hard.

View Quoted Comment I bet your not stressed, your lucky to have a good support system. Good luck

View Quoted Comment It is really hard! It sounds like you are fine with you and the groom being responsible for paying for the wedding and your parents want him to pay?
That may be workable - just act like he is paying LOL open a “wedding account” and put the money you guys have budgeted for it in there. If your mom sees you paying for anything and asks, you can say “don’t worry mom, it’s the special wedding account he set up!” That’s what is called “not a lie” because you are not lying but you are also not giving her info that she is not entitled to!
This will prob be the start of some cultural clashes, and the best way to handle that is to be a united front. A team. The key is being 100% ok with the decisions you make together so your parents can’t sense that you are unhappy.

View Quoted Comment That is the best idea you just might have given me... that way it seems like he payed for stuff but its both our money... like when we go to the store, i shop he pays but its sometimes my money, we do 50/50 we dont tell mom and dad because they think its wrong. They thinks the guy should take care of me. Again their Hispanic cultures i dont practice, but do respect since im still half and half.

View Quoted Comment These differences can just come up with no warning and take you by surprise! I think lots of first generation kids feel caught between two worlds.
I live in a small town with a lot of Korean owned businesses and the parents often get upset their kids want to totally leave the nest and the kids are like I WANT TO MOVE TO THE CITY MOM!
My 18 year old recently moved to her own apartment (one block away) and one of the owners told me I was smart to let her have a little freedom LOL that kid has been 30 since she turned 13 and has act together more than I did at 25, I didn’t “let” her do anything LOL

White American "tradition" (read, 1950s culture) says the bride's family pays, except for the flowers and the rehearsal dinner, which the groom's family pays for.

Other cultures have entirely different views.

Currently, in the US, it's considered more appropriate for the couple to pay for themselves (as they usually are no longer getting married out of high school).

Reality: everyone's different.

My parents paid probably 70ish% of our costs, and we paid the rest. My ILs hosted the rehearsal dinner. FH and I did all the planning by ourselves.

Overall: whatever you do, don't take out a loan.

I am Hispanic as well and my fiancé is white lol. So we are paying and my parents as well. It is tradition that the brides parents pay for the wedding and the grooms parents pay for the rehearsal dinner but these days it doesn’t matter who pays for what

View Quoted Comment Ao you get me.... with the whole dillema thing and his parents are taking things seriously they kinda dont want to help.. only with rehearsal dinner... leaving myself the groom and my family with the whole thing.

View Quoted Comment There's nothing wrong with your fiance's parents not offering money for the wedding and offering only to pay for the rehearsal. Nobody is obliged to contribute to the wedding. They shouldn't be pressured to contribute.

My fiancé and I are completely responsible for paying for our wedding. My parents have helped, but it's not an obligation for them to help, it's just a gift. My FH mother is paying our florist, since we opted out in having a rehearsal dinner because we are getting married on a Friday. But that's also a gift. You and your fiancé are responsible for funding your wedding, any help should be appreciated but not expected, in my opinion!

I believe it is a couple's responsibility together. I don't think any cost should fall solely on either the bride or groom because it is your day together. Now there are ways to break down the traditional payments when it comes to the bride and/or groom's families but this is also such an old school belief so it isn't a rule but rather can be used as a guideline.

Like I said this should be a guideline. There are so many different financial situations out there that you can't always go "by the book." This should be a discussion you have with your fiance as well as both your families and with your budget in mind see what is possible for all of you as a whole. For example, my fiance and I are basically paying for our entire wedding as a couple. Both of our families have agreed to give 'x' amount of money to us to use as we feel fit and then my parents have agreed to pay for my dress. Our mom's will host a shower together and our bridal parties will handle our bachelor/bachelorette parties as well as their own attire.

Honestly everyone's situation is different but overall it is a decision you need to make together.

I think there are no real traditions here. A good rule of thumb is to plan for what you both can afford & then if someone offers to help you can consider taking them up on it depending on what they expect in return. All these traditions only lived within certain situations anyway. With mixing cultures, not to mention geographies, religions, & LGBTQ+ couples, basically it’s whatever works for your relationship.


For me, my mom was really offended when I said we wanted to pay, because its “traditional” for the bride’s parents to pay & that’s what her parents did. So my parents are helping, but because of it they are also inviting a lot of their friends—which is usually what happens in that situation, & which I understood when accepting their offer. But even though my FH are both white Americans with parents in the same age group, his parents feel the couple should be paying. My parents also felt the groom’s parents should pay for the rehearsal dinner, but a) my FH’s parents don’t necessarily feel the same & b) my family’s rehearsal dinners include all out of town guests but my FH’s family says it’s just those involved in the rehearsal. If we were both men or both women, I have no idea how our families’ expectations would play out!

My husband and I are paying for ours, but I have friends who have had one set of parents or the other, or both sets of parents pay!

I personally feel like it up to you, the groom, and your parents. Personally we are paying for very little but that is because my soon to be in-laws and my parents said they would cover a lot of the cost for us. Mind you we came up with a budget and showed them and we planned on splitting it 3 ways but our parents said we only had to pay for my hair and the gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen and for the parent gifts so. It really does depend on your family and you guys on how you want to handle it.

I’m Jewish/white - bride’s parents pay for entire wedding and groom’s parents pay for rehearsal dinner.

In traditional US weddings the bride's family usually pays for most everything except the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. As others have said, this is antiquated but a lot of parents still save up and budget for this future expense. Today, it is a lot more up in the air and most couples pay for things themselves. The couple might be gifted some or all of the money by their families but it is not, by any means, a given.



Personally, I was expecting my FH and I to be fully responsible for the wedding expenses but my parents surprised us with the offer of $5,000 towards our costs. That was all of our original wedding budget which we decided to keep. The only condition was for my mother to be able to invite her 3 siblings and their spouses. This is a typical request if one of the families is paying, additional x number of guests or particular people not originally on the guest list.

So sorry for you and your fiancé that you have run into these issues! Family always makes things complicated. My FH's mother is Hispanic from Puerto Rico and we have had a few issues of cultural differences but, on the whole, we have been able to figure things out.

Well I am Hispanic I understand. Usually back when I was growing up our parents used to pay for our weddings. Now my daughter got married 12 years ago and her and her husband decided they wanted to pay for their own wedding I was fine with that times are not like before they surely won all the blinds and whistles at their wedding so I will say to you try to do it on your own if you cannot afford it by yourself then you should ask your fiancé‘s parents and your parents to chip in only if you guys cannot afford itOr wait and save up for whatever you want have a great day

I was always taught the father of the bride pays for it sometimes and or the grooms parents. Now days I guess it just depends on the family and the ability to pay for a wedding. My fiancé is paying for the wedding but my father is paying for the DJ and photography