Guadalupe
Beginner April 2022

Who pays for the wedding the groom or the bride?

Guadalupe, on March 22, 2021 at 4:47 PM Posted in Planning 0 42
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I have a dilemma im hispanic so my family has a different view of who pays for what in a weeding, it will be my first marriage and my fiance is not to convince on who pays for what. He is white and his parents have a whole different opinion. So can someone explain to me who is suppose to pay for the weeding in your opinion.

42 Comments

Latest activity by Vicky, on March 24, 2021 at 8:05 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag

    In my opinion, the couple should together cover the costs of their own wedding. If the couple is short on cash, they can either host a wedding with a budget set to what they can afford, or they can wait a year or two to save up for the wedding they want. If family members offer to contribute financially towards the wedding, the couple can certainly choose to accept the money, but be aware that the money often comes with strings attached.

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  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    The bride and the groom are responsible for their own wedding.


    If one of them wants to stick to the "tradition" of the bride's family paying, I'd call them out for picking and choosing their traditions. Back when the bride's family was expected to pay for weddings, premarital sex or cohabitation were also tabboo. Women working for pay was also tabboo.
    • Reply
  • Biaani
    Expert May 2021
    Biaani ·
    • Flag

    Honestly this is such a personal question. The answer is so different for each couple. I'm Mexican, in Mexico the groom pays for the whole wedding. It is also accustomed to have "padrinos" sponsors who could take care of certain things. My FH is Dominican, I have no idea who pays for what there. Now for us . . my dad is payed for the photographer, but FH and I payed for everything else ourselves.

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    I think this answer will vary a lot depending on different cultural practices. In my traditional Jewish family, it's fairly typical for parents to pay for at least a significant portion of their children's weddings. We were very lucky in that my parents and my husband's parents split all of the wedding costs 50/50 right down the middle. It's also super common for couples to pay for their own weddings these days.

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  • Kelly
    Dedicated February 2022
    Kelly ·
    • Flag

    Okay so as someone who is half Mexican and half White I understand the conflict. My fiancé is also from a similar background. We have family on both sides pitching in because they want to (we never asked they offered as a gift) but ultimately we are paying for the wedding ourselves and honestly prefer it that way. That way we can do what we want and not have to worry about someone saying "Well I am paying so do it my way"

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  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    This varies depending on people’s individual circumstances. What’s most important is for you and FH to be aligned and on the same page with who pays for what. In my culture, it is common for the brides family to pay for the wedding. Many people also choose to decline financial assistance for the weddings as it usually comes with strings attached/their opinions. I would sit down with FH and see what the two of you could afford on your own, discuss the pros and cons of family assistance(if it’s being offered) and decide from there.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    Both. You’re both adults who decided to get married and have a party to celebrate, you’re both responsible for the cost.
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    In my opinion if you are adult enough to marry you should be adult enough to pay for it yourselves (both bride and groom together). It is your responsibility to pay for your wedding.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    In my family and culture it's expected that the bride's father will pay. My dad will be paying for my entire wedding.


    However, in the US more broadly, it's common for the bride and groom to fund the wedding together. I'm not sure if anyone's right or wrong as much as it's just different expectations and ways of doing things.
    What is your expectation? What is your fiance's family's expectation?
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I second this regarding the context of applicable cultural norms.

    I am Russian Jewish and my parents (and grandparents) are inviting guests to our wedding and so they are paying for a portion of the wedding. By reason of both my parents' portion of the guest list + their generosity, FH and I are paying for 1/4, my future in-laws are paying for 1/4, and my parents are covering the remaining 1/2 of costs.

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  • H
    Devoted August 2023
    Hhh ·
    • Flag
    You and FH. Of course families often want to contribute, but I just can’t understand how the gender of your child would still determine whether a parent will pay for all or none of your wedding!?! Did we rewind to last century? 🤷‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Devoted August 2022
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    In modern times, ultimately you and your FH are responsible for the cost of your wedding. It's up to your families to decide if they want to contribute, and if so, how much. This is not something that should be expected or forced.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    It's different for every couple. There is no right or wrong way
    • Reply
  • Katherine
    Expert October 2021
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    It honestly depends on the family. My family which are white says it's the brides family that pays for the wedding. So mine is being paid for by my parents. Grooms family pays for dress, rehearsal dinner and sometimes bar. I've mostly heard of the custom of brides parents pay for the wedding. Even in wedding books I've seen it list and usually it's paid that way. The couple pays for the cake, dj, photographer, and decor.
    • Reply
  • Guadalupe
    Beginner April 2022
    Guadalupe ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    My expectations are for both of us to contribute, but my family is Hispanic there culture is different, so there expecting the groom to contribute more than half towards the weeding.... i was born here in the United States 🇺🇸 so im stuck in the middle of both cultures, it’s difficult to please my parents and his parents... its stressing me out. His parents want us to pay for it our selfs... and my parents will contribute to part of the weeding... we have been engaged for 2 years now.. he decided it was time to get married.
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  • Guadalupe
    Beginner April 2022
    Guadalupe ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Its the difference of cultures girl im in between so it is stressing me out.... i was both here in the United States but i also have Hispanic roots so everyone is budding in. I needed to say something
    • Reply
  • Guadalupe
    Beginner April 2022
    Guadalupe ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    See thats what i keep telling my mother, but she says in her culture its the other way around, but again she seems not to understand that. Im Hispanic but i was born here. So i feel that rule should not apply to me. 🤷🏽‍♀️. Too much drama. My fh says the same thing . And its not anything against anybody.
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  • A
    Devoted May 2021
    Ally ·
    • Flag
    In my opinion it should be 50/50. A lot of people still think the brides family should pay for anything but that is extremely outdated and unfair. If possible, the bride and groom should pay for most of their own wedding to avoid unwanted opinions and input
    • Reply
  • Guadalupe
    Beginner April 2022
    Guadalupe ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you 😊
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    The couple pools their money together to pay for it. No is marrying themselves so that applies to paying for it too.

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