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AshelyJ.
Devoted October 2017

Who is supposed to throw your bachelorette and bridal shower?

AshelyJ., on March 13, 2017 at 3:35 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 24

I thought the MOH was supposed to do both? Or do you throw your own?

My sister is my MOH, but her idea of a fun bridal shower and bachelorette party isn't the same as mine. So how does it work?

Thank you!

24 Comments

Latest activity by Diane, on January 17, 2020 at 2:12 PM
  • Mariah
    VIP April 2017
    Mariah ·
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    You don't throw your own, and there is no one that is supposed to throw the shower or bachelorette. If someone offers then thats great! If not, then you don't have one.

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  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
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    You do NOT throw your own. And no one is required to throw any parties for you. If someone volunteers, great.

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  • Helena Handbasket
    Master February 2016
    Helena Handbasket ·
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    You don't throw your own. You let whoever decides to throw you one host these.

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Ashley, the host of the event gets to determine the details of the party. The bridal shower and bachelorette parties are gifts to you, not things you're "supposed" to have. No, don't throw your own parties in your own honour.

    What's wrong with what your MOH is planning?

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  • M
    Super May 2016
    Mal-Pal ·
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    Echoing the "you never throw your own party" part. It's often bridesmaids or MOH but they're certainly not required to. If she decides to throw you one she'll probably ask what you'd like. If not, don't stress over it. Many people don't have these parties.

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  • mrsmack
    VIP April 2017
    mrsmack ·
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    It's no one's responsibility to throw you a party or a shower. If someone volunteers, you let them. If no one volunteers, you don't get one. You don't throw your own. Whoever decides to host either of them will plan the specifics of the party and usually you only give input (if there are things you definitely don't want) and confirm that a chosen day/time works for you.

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  • B
    Dedicated April 2017
    Briella ·
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    Whoever offers to throw you one. But you definitely do not throw your own self a party. Typically the MOH offers (and sometimes the bridesmaids help). Bridal shower just depends, my mom and stepmom and aunts all pitched in to throw my bridal shower.

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  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
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    Anyone who offers. You cannot throw your own.

    If no one offers, you don't get one.

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  • DesertFox
    Super March 2018
    DesertFox ·
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    Oh hun, get ready for what is about to happen....

    #1 you NEVER throw your own.

    #2 your bridal party are not "supposed" to do anything other than show up and look nice.

    #3 you are not entitled to any extra-curricular activities. If you get an engagement party, a bridal shower, or a bachelorette party, that is because someone is happy and WANTS to throw it for you. Not because they are REQUIRED to.

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  • Kirsten
    Devoted June 2017
    Kirsten ·
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    Don't throw your own. But whoever decides to host it will probably ask you what you do or don't like at a shower or bachelorette too, so if there's something you really don't like you can say so when they ask. But same rules apply as a wedding, if they are paying they have say in what happens. ETA if it's going to be that bad you just decline having a shower or bachelorette.

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  • ReneeEdward
    VIP November 2017
    ReneeEdward ·
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    Yeahhh please don't throw your own shower. That's basically saying hey I want gifts.

    As for who is suppose to throw it?! No one is suppose to, it's not a requirement! If someone offers to throw you one great if not oh well. You aren't entitled to having a party thrown in your honor just because you're getting married.

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  • AshelyJ.
    Devoted October 2017
    AshelyJ. ·
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    Well we had originally talked about all going to Vegas for a weekend. But her husband won't allow it. I'm more a free spirit, and she has become very religious the past few years, especially after getting married. (Which there isn't anything wrong with it). But now instead of Vegas, she wants to do something at her house, invite all of her church friends and our parents, and talk about the pros and cons of marriage, and read verses, and have lemonade and fruit punch. (Which is no way my type of fun).

    So now I'm just thinking of saying thanks but no thanks, and then I guess I won't do anything, or have a small girls weekend and not like a bachelorette or bridal shower.

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  • DesertFox
    Super March 2018
    DesertFox ·
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    So....Still throwing your own bachelorette?? Girls weekend? Just tell her no thank you but you appreciate the offer.

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  • AshelyJ.
    Devoted October 2017
    AshelyJ. ·
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    I don't want gifts, I don't care about that stuff. I just want a good fun weekend away with my friends, to let lose and have fun. So maybe just a small girls weekend away is what will happen. No bachelorette party or anything else.

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Just politely decline the event that she is planning. If her church friends are not invited to the wedding, then it's not really polite to have them go to a pre-wedding event anyway.

    A weekend in Vegas is expensive, please don't ask that of the people in your life. You can do a night out or weekend but don't tie it to your wedding in any way. That way it won't look like you're hosting your own.

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  • MAC2017
    Dedicated November 2017
    MAC2017 ·
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    This is a bunch of bull. My MOH asked me what I wanted to do so I told her. Also there is NO harm in bringing it up! You can absolutely talk with your Mom or FMIL! Its 2017 obviously every bride wants to have these parties. the "you just dont get one" makes me laugh! Sit with whoever and talk about ideas set budgets or whatever. If her idea Isnt yours offer to Pay to have it the way you want if pricing is an issue. I am having a DW and I also have no problem helping pitch in to whatever I want at these parties. Sure if some one pays cool if not; I work and can afford the things I WANT! after all its all about you right? yup! and dont you forget it!

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  • CuteNickname
    Super July 2017
    CuteNickname ·
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    @rebecca which cares if she has a girls weekend? As long as she's not calling it a bachelorette and not forcing anyone to attend there should be no issue.

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  • AshelyJ.
    Devoted October 2017
    AshelyJ. ·
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    Let me also say all my other Bridal party way down for the weekend in Vegas. It's my MOH changing her mind.

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  • Danielle
    VIP December 2017
    Danielle ·
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    First off, you don't throw your own engagement party, bridal shower or bachelorette. Traditionally the first falls on the bride's parents and the latter two on the MoH. If someone throws you a party, then great. If not, then be grateful to have your bridal party standing by your side.

    This being said, should an MoH want to throw one, it just makes good sense to consult with the bride-to-be for her ideas and her taste. The bride is the guest-of-honor at these events, so the events should reflect her tastes rather than those of the hosts.

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  • Ashley
    Devoted August 2017
    Ashley ·
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    Hi!! So my opinion is slightly different here... for my wedding prep I am putting together my own bachelorette party. The reason is that we want a coed weekend, and together we have in mind what we want so we have decided to throw it and be in charge of the planning. Because some of my family is extremely religious, I will have aunts, grandmas, and cousins that will want to attend some sort of celebration so either my MOH or another relative will likely put that together.

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