Who gets wedding favors?

200 people is not exactly what I'd call a "private" reception.

You're having a tiered wedding? Skip the favors and invite those 300+ people to the reception.

I need more information before I decide what level of snark to give.

Seriously no one has ever heard of having a private reception? Invitations only go out to those invites to both the ceremony and reception. Ceremony is open to everyone but there would be no practical way to accommodate them all at a reception.

Where is your ceremony that it's "open to everyone"? You have not answered that question. Unless it's during a mass service, nobody would happen upon a wedding ceremony.

No this is not a thing and is rude AF. If you cannot accommodate everyone, you do not invite them! This screams gift grabby. The only situation in which this is acceptable is when you are inviting your entire church congregation, and just doing a small cake and punch reception with them and full reception with ALL other guests.

I have been to a wedding like what you are describing exactly once. The pastor of our church was getting married, and welcomed all church members to the ceremony, but invited select guests to the reception. I went to the ceremony to support him, and understood their reasons for doing it that way. It still stung that some of my peers were invited while I was not.

Also? I don't consider any event with 200ish people "private." "Exclusive" may be the word you are looking for. And those extra 300 guests will absolutely feel excluded. I speak from experience.

I've heard of an open ceremony when there's a bulletin posted at the church where a couple is getting married but I've never heard of there being such a large discrepancy between the number of attendees at the ceremony vs the reception.

I brought the popcorn, friends.

OP, can you please provide more detail on how 300 other people will be at your ceremony. We get a private reception & realize you've invited 200; but we are all confused on these mysterious 300 other ceremony people?!?

@La Grosera, exactly.

Wasn't there a user not too long ago who was doing something that Celia posted about? I believe she was expecting the entire congregation for the wedding (150, I think), but when only 40-50 for the actual reception? Like, okay, I can understand that (as much as someone outside of that culture can), but 500 for the ceremony and then 200 for the reception?

Again, I stand by 200 people not really being private, but you're set on it, so you do you, OP!

Everyone or no one

I would like to attend the "open" ceremony. When and where please. Also I *Promise* to not come to your highly secretive special A-list reception! Oh and I got you a card too, if you don't see it someone probably stole it, there was *$1000* in it. I swear!

Haven't we ever heard of a private reception? Of course, all receptions are private because they are invitation only -- not open to the public.

The way you've worded this leaves many people wondering what you're thinking and why. The way you've articulated your plan sends shivers down my spine. You want 500 people to ooh and ahh over you as you enjoy the biggest pageant moment of your life, but 300 of them can leave after they've been blessed enough to travel, hang out for 40 minutes, watch you get married, and probably, leave a gift on a gift table you'll have set up at the ceremony venue? The other 200? Well, they're the A-list, and they get to eat and watch Part II.

I'm still believing you're inviting your entire congregation to attend your wedding, but only inviting 200 to attend your reception. If that's the case, you owe those other 300 something -- something like an hour in the church basement with dessert and coffee. While your REAL guests, those who were invited to the "private reception" are enjoying cocktail hour (which I hope actually features real cocktails), you owe those other 300 an hour of your time, some light refreshments, and a thank you for taking their time to come and see you get married. I actually cannot believe people, even church communities, continue to subject themselves to this kind of thing. Why bother going to the ceremony if the couple doesn't value you enough to invite you to their reception? Rather than a private reception, perhaps people should focus on private ceremonies. And no, don't worry about favors for the wandering 300. Your printed up program will probably be enough for them to remember your wedding.

Is this really that hard to figure out?

I still don't understand this... is your ceremony info printed in the paper or something? I'm genuinely curious how you expect 300 people to come to your wedding if you aren't sending them invites..

I'm genuinely curious about your "extras"

I mean really, what was your plan before you asked about the favors?

300+ of you, plz grab a bottle opener for your thanks, but please, no appetizers for you and oh, you gotta go?

I'm so confused by 300 extra guests... I'm pretty sure I may not even know 300 people, much less invite all of them to my wedding.

@LFAB the favors should be koozies that say "You ain't gotta go home but you gotta get the hell up outta here!"

Was the ceremony a FB event? I feel like the only way anyone can come up with 500 people is to invite every *friend* on FB