Who gets a corsage?

What would it cost to buy an extra corsage to keep the peace in the situation? Be generous with your day and keep the good karma flowing is my advice. She might be a very nice lady.

My FHs grandma died in 2010 and his grandpa quickly got with someone else. We didn't agree with it and still don't like how it all started. We like the lady; she's a very nice person. So, we are giving her a corsage to be nice and to keep the peace.

Personally I wouldn't go out of my way to do it but if it's not that difficult and worth not dealing with the drama just do it.

I hear you ladies and understand. It is not about the cost and I am all about keeping the peace. I just do not feel comfortable because my only living grandmother is receiving one and my FMIL. She is not a mother to me in no way shape or form. I would rather include my aunts than her. It is the significance of it for me I think. The meaning behind it all. She may be a really nice lady and I have nothing against her at all. Thanks ladies. I will have to think about it some more.

You could do a smaller corsage. Or choose a different flower arrangement for her. So you're still acknowledging your dads wife, but keeping the significance of your original corsages.

It depends. If you get her one, will it have the snowball effect? Meaning, will other people feel left out too? I'm with you on the level of comfort. Ask your dad how important it is to him, and if he says it's important to him for her to have a corsage then maybe do it but let him know about your reservations and your reasons for feeling uncomfortable doing this.

If you do get one, I agree with Kimberly. Do something smaller, less "special."

Is your dad being introduced into the reception? If so, is his wife escorting him? If so, it might be appropriate to get her a corsage but otherwise I'm not sure I'd worry about it, unless you think it would hurt your dad's feelings. Honestly it's kind of weird for her to expect to be expected to be included. If she wasn't married to your dad, she wouldn't even be on the guest list.

I had to do the same thing for my Step Mom even though she came into my life a lot later on in life and really isn't another "mother" to me in any way. I did it because both her and my Dad are paying for the wedding and because I knew it would make my Dad happy. End of story. That was all it took for me. My own Mom even said it'd be inappropriate to not give her one. Will she walk in with all of the Moms? No.

If it means that much to you, I would not do it, especially if others in your family would feel hurt. Just my two cents!

I would still get her something since it's obviously something that may cause an issue or tension with the family.

Are you doing actual corsages for your FMIL and grandmother?

Maybe instead of a corsage, you make her a pin with the flowers? Something like the bouts the guys will be wearing? Then it won't take away from the significance of the people with corsages, but it helps include her at the same time.

I agree with FutureMrsM that you should speak to your dad.

for all you know he may have assumed that you step mother will be taking the role your mom would have played in the wedding. it happens.

if you dad is asking about wedding colors, I wonder if she thinks she needs to dress as mother of the bride.

she may just want to dress in a way to compliment the wedding colors since a lot of people do that even if they are just guests.

flower or no flower, I think you should talk about all this. I don't think you need to feel obligated to include her in certain things, but for all you know she may plan to stand in the receiving isle.

then there's family pictures. will she be in those?

if it was me, I'd probably make sure she had a flower of some kind just out of respect for my dad, but she wouldn't be included in other roles if I didn't want her to.

would be best to make sure all is understood before the wedding day.

nothing messes up pictures more then people arguing over who gets to be in the 'special' ones!

I would get her a "different" type of corsage, keep Dad happy and keep the peace I also think that maybe telling your father to have her match the dress to his colors is fine and maybe she justs doesn't know how to reach out to you a simple afternoon of dress shopping and lunch may help ease your hesitation in regards to her role if any at all.

As a florist I can tell you that the majority of brides in your situation (which is not uncommon) do get a corsage for their father's wife. Corsages are inexpensive and it is not worth the grief you may be given if you don't do it.

Thanks for all of the feedback. It is hard enough for me that my mom will not be there. I just do not want or need the drama of it all. My father lives out of state and I will probably see him once before the wedding. I will call her as he requested to gauge what her expectations are and go from there. Thanks again everyone.

I am currently going through the same thing. Dad remarried TWICE after my mom passed away 11 years ago. I have only spoke to her once over the phone and I have a stepbrother that I have never seen yet. My aunt and uncle has taken me in after mom passed so my Aunt is getting the Mother of the Bride treatment with good reason. I actually dont care if stepmom even comes, much get her a corset but maybe I will get her a smaller one just to keep the peace.

Maybe if the significance of the corsage keeps you from getting it for her opt for a single flower. It sets her apart from others without giving her a "status" that has meaning to it. If she hasn't spent time with you or gotten to know you yet why would she assume she should get mob treatment?

I wouldn't give her one at all because if it is all about the significance of the corsage and you and her have no relationship at all what would be the purpose of even giving her something even if it is on a smaller scale? After your wedding she will still go back to not having a relationship with you so what's the point of giving her one. I do agree if anything give it to your aunts or just keep it simple agreed give one to u our FMIL and your grandmother.

I am getting my dad and grandpa's longtime girlfriend's corsages. I just discussed with my florist that they are to be significantly smaller than the corsages we are getting for the MOB and MOG. It's more a token....since my dad and gpa will both be getting bouts.

I made a corsage for my dad's wife - just to keep the peace. Believe me, I'm not a fan of her and I've been around her awhile, even going on a cruise with her and my dad.

His wife's corsage was a little different from my mom & DH's mom.