Who do I tip??

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Think of it this way -- the people who wrote the tipping rules have probably never worked in a service industry, or if they did, they weren't those with soft soles on the floor. They are writers. Now...let's consider the true definition of a gratuity: A bonus, a monetary gift not required from the patron, but nevertheless, awarded to the vendor because the demonstrable service was above and beyond that expected according to industry standards."

If your officiant incites true emotion from your guests after reciting a passionate passage from Wuthering Heights, Phantom of the Opera, Titanic, Kahlil Gibran, or something from one of those Blue Mountain Greeting cards AFTER pronouncing your names correctly, you should consider the skill behind that. A tip is in order if your officiant moved your audience. If they were able, after a few minutes, to center your guests and remind them of their humanity, a tip is in order. Remember, they've all been to countless weddings, and if they actually honed in on what your officiant said, listened to it, and absorbed it, you hired a freaking winner. Give the lady or gentleman a tip -- or don't. Someone will. The same thing applies to the caterer, the florist, the wedding planner, etc. Sure, they charge industry standards, and with many of them, what you get is the standard industry product. If you are fortunate enough to receive something that surpasses "no problem with the service", think about it. If the service was exceptional, why should you care if the individual who delivered that level of service owns the business or is an employee of the business owner? I don't get it...never did (and that was long before I had a company), and never will. The gratuity goes to the gifted, committed, and devoted. It's really not that complicated of a concept, is it?

My rule of thumb: tip everyone who performed a service for you, and went above your expectations. I use this for life, not just weddings I plan to tip: photographer, dj, officiant, venue coordinator, servers/bartender, and hair stylist/mua.