Where to Wed

Would you be able to get a refund or any of your deposit back if you cancel from your original venue? That is what I would be worried about most.

I mean, you're forgetting a big factor...is having the wedding in your backyard, specifically to avoid social distancing, even safe??

If your state has restrictions that means cases are either getting worse or not getting better. The social distancing rules are there for a reason. 200 people in a backyard (how big is your yard?) and dancing together could be dangerous.

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We are prepared to lose deposits if we have to. But we're hoping given the circumstances, vendors would understand.

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FILs own several acres, so we would have plenty of space to spread out. Cases in our state (I'm from Iowa) are fairly steady, and people don't seem to be following the social distancing guidelines. Tables would be set up to be socially distant and I would group families together at tables. But I would like to give my guests the option to dance if they so choose, I know all I really want to be able to do is dance the night away with my new hubby.

I would keep the current plan in place, reduce my guest list, and figure out how to live-stream the ceremony to those no longer able to attend. The stress of planning a completely new wedding in under 100 days would be more than I'm willing to take on - I'm stressed for you just thinking about it, Lol (parking, toilet trailers, etc.). I'd much rather just figure out one new thing (the live-stream) than literally everything else. Plus, I agree with PPs that the Social Distancing guidelines are in place right now for a reason; smaller groups are less risky even though it absolutely stinks. I hope you find a solution that works for you!

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I honestly think that I would just reduce the number of guest and keep it at the first venue. The 2nd options seems stressful, not to say that it can't be done. But even with 100 days away, we have no idea what will happen with Covid

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Make sure if you go this route, you confirm what the current guidelines are for private gatherings. In my state, the guidelines venues had to follow ALSO applied to private parties and gatherings. We have had many a private party or wedding - on private property - broken up by police/public health officials. Just another potential risk to consider.

I personally would stick with the venue you have booked and reduce your guest list. I feel having a 200+ person wedding is honestly a terrible move and rather selfish of the bride and groom to even consider. Everyone's health and safety should be your number one concern. It simply isn't safe to have many people in one area.

I agree with the previous comments - planning a new wedding in that short amount of time, as well as losing the deposits from the vendors and such, would be stressful. I personally would recommend sticking with your original venue, and decreasing your guest list. Even if you held your wedding in the backyard, some guests may feel uncomfortable attending a wedding that size (225 is larger than most people are able to host this year). Some may choose to not attend due to COVID, so your guest list might end up being around 150 or less anyway. If you are unable to reduce your guest list and can afford to lose the deposits, I think the backyard option with social distancing precautions in place would be a good backup plan!

View Quoted Comment Hard disagree with this comment. Use your own judgment to make the best decision for you and your guests. Only you know where your guests are traveling from, how many cases there are in your state, whether testing is widely available in your area, etc. You are NOT selfish for hosting your event if you can do so without breaking the law. You only become a bridezilla when you get mad at people who don't feel safe coming (and with this size guest list, you will likely have one of those).


Agree with PP that it may be difficult to pull it together in time, even though brides have planned lovely weddings with less notice

I would stick to your current plan and cut the guest list. You haven't sent out invites yet correct?

I would stick to the current plan and cut the guest list. Moving the wedding to FIL house 2hrs. away would likely cause many guests to have to get hotel reservations or set up some type of arrangements, which could cause many to not attend. Vendors will most likely not return any money, as you would be completely cancelling when the venue is still open. Also, it is not guaranteed that you would be able to replace all current vendors, as well as find new ones for all additional items necessary for a backyard wedding.

I would postpone, honestly. Sorry.

I'm from NJ, we've flattened our curve, and we've just again put in restrictions, because gatherings of that size have led to spikes and cluster outbreaks.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Rebecca. Is your venue giving you the option to postpone until next year? You can still get married that day with your nearest and dearest there regardless, and hold the reception next year when it’s safe to do so. Your best chance of having a “normal” wedding (i.e. dancing allowed, no mask requirement at all times) is postponing.