Idalis
Savvy October 2021

When weddings wake you up

Idalis, on August 30, 2021 at 3:41 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 32
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How did you handle family members saying that won't attend? I can handle the last minute work excuses or no money for plane ticket, but has anyone ever dealt with family or even friends declining to show up because they will be "moving to a new place" or even just "traveling the world?" This the most wildest thing I ever heard of. I would never deny someone to live their life because I know that it's not my place, but like I am first cousins with this person and they knew for three years now that I would be getting married. I mean at one point she was in my wedding party lol. Has anyone ever gone through this?

32 Comments

Latest activity by Idalis, on September 21, 2021 at 3:03 PM
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I've never had that happen to me. Is it possible that a previously planned trip was postponed due to COVID? Or they could be moving further away or even out of state? Just curious, I mean those are valid reasons to not attend. Did something happen and that's the reason she's not in your bridal party anymore? If so it could just be excuses.

    I wouldn't worry about it though. Enjoy your day, those who love you & your fiancé will make sure they can attend. Don't worry about the people who decide not to come.

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  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
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    I wouldn’t worry about it. People decline for various reasons- it is not for us to judge whether those reasons are “valid”. They obviously feel the situation is important enough to them to warrant not attending your wedding. This day is about you and your spouse, and your happiness/excitement should not in anyway be determined by who is in attendance. You will have a fantastic day no matter what! Smiley smile
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  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    Tbh, I don't really think it's any of my business to know why guests are declining. It's an invitation, not a summons. Focus on the people who WILL be there, rather than the ones who won't. Your day will be amazing no matter what! =)
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  • Theadra
    Devoted June 2021
    Theadra ·
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    Agreed! Hubby had this on his side mostly. They did give reasons that they wanted to share. You will just find out what is important to people when the attention is not on them sadly.

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  • Nichole
    Devoted September 2022
    Nichole ·
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    Im not close enough to my date to even send out my invites yet BUT I fully anticipate people declining (some like my uncle and aunt in Africa I fully expect to decline) at the end of the day the people who care about us are going to be the ones that put in the effort to show up. The others I am not going to stress about.
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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    She was in my party once but decided to uninvite herself due to a FB post that had nothing to do with her at all. The FB was on a bridal page & since she’s engaged now she has joined them as well. She then reached out months later she wasn’t mad about it & still wanted to attend. She currently lives out of state, but that was never an issue. I’m not sure where she’ll be moving to now, but I know she could wait . She’s moved 3/4 times within 6 months .
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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    I agree. My fiancé has been telling me this nonstop as well.
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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    Yes it’s actually really sad .
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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    Thank you 😊
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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    I agree. Thanks
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  • Rue
    Savvy October 2021
    Rue ·
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    I can totally relate and I am just trying to direct all my disappointment at the people who aren’t going to gratitude and excitement for the people that are. Whatever happens it will be special and amazing no matter what. 💜💜 I feel ya!
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  • Jacks
    Master November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    What happened with the cousin that was in the wedding party? Was there a conflict of some sort?

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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    Yea it’s been tough knowing that people I love and grew up so close with would decide to attend someone’s else’s wedding and no want to come to mine because they are traveling & moving
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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    Yes. So, basically I’m in this FB wedding group and I made a post about how to address invitations when you know someone you don’t want to invite lives with someone you do. Because I knew she was also in that group I didn’t get too detailed, but gave a backstory. She obviously read it and decided to Uninvite herself because she felt like I should have talked to her first.


    Long story short the post really had nothing to do with her and the comments I was receiving weren’t about the situation I had described in the post; it was actually helpful and no one cared. She cared due to it being her brother. Months pass and she wants to come to my wedding again. Now, the deadline approaches and I reached out because I knew she was traveling and doing her business so then she says she can’t “guarantee she’ll be there” .

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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Don't worry about it and don't let it affect you. If she comes she comes, if not oh well you can still have fun without her.

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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    Believe I am trying lol she isn't the only one, but I just stay focused on my wedding day and marrying my life mate and looking so bomb in my dress

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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    & that's exactly how it should be!

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  • Kayla
    Savvy October 2021
    Kayla ·
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    Yes, we are having this issue with my fiance's side and his feelings are extremely hurt and i'm not quite sure how to handle. The main reason they're saying is Covid, but it bothers him because they are constantly out doing things that aren't necessary so the Covid excuse doesn't sit well with him. Our wedding is outdoors and we are providing masks, they are also all vaccinated. His own dad declined and that was just a huge shock. I'm trying to reassure him that the people who are truly happy for us and support us will be there, and even if 30 people show up we will still have a great day Smiley smile

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  • Jacks
    Master November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    OK, well it sounds like you offended her, and she's making your wedding less of a priority. That sounds like a friendship problem and less of a wedding problem. No-one will see your wedding with the same importance and priority that you do. It would be a shame if this affected the joy you feel in your day.

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  • Idalis
    Savvy October 2021
    Idalis ·
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    Oh wow that’s sad. I’ve had a lot of great reassurance from my fiancé’s side of the family saying the same thing to me . Our ceremony is outside and then reception inside, but even still we plan to take precautions at our wedding with gloves, signs, masks and hand sanitizer just because we have stubborn family members who won’t be vaccinated. I agree! Your FH has to understand like I that there will be the ones you truly love and they love you will be there. ❤️ Wish you guys all the best.
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