Just Said Yes June 2021

When to tip vendors? Day of or after? Also, does event sales manager get tips?

Camila, on May 27, 2021 at 11:59 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

I know there's a ton of questions on here about tipping but I couldn't find any definitive answers so thought I'd double check.

First, when did you all tip your vendors? On the day of the wedding or did you send them a thank you card with a tip after the wedding? At first I thought at the wedding, but then how do you gauge if they go above and beyond, or if they did a terrible job right there on the spot? If on the wedding day, did you hand them an envelope before they left or right when they arrive?

Next, I'm working with a event sales manager at the hotel that is our venue. She showed us the venue at first when we first visited, and she has been my point of contact answering all of my questions. I believe she will be coordinating the flip of our space on the wedding day, but she's made it clear to me that her and her team would not be doing much else on the day and that perhaps I would need an event coordinator or wedding planner. Since I'm already paying a ceremony fee plus 23% gratuity on the food and drinks, is it expected that I would give her a separate tip as well? If so, how much is expected?

Thanks for your help!


Latest activity by Jane, on June 2, 2021 at 4:05 PM
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    Tips are completely discretionary, but should reward outstanding service. We probably tipped half of our vendors on the day of, and the other half afterward (mostly because they were not accessible during our reception). For most, we already had amounts in mind, because these were people we had already been working with for almost a year and a half, and barring any major disasters we already had a great sense of the service provided over the past 18 months. We did tip our venue director and another venue staff member even though they were already included in our 21% service charge because we felt they were outstanding and nailed every detail and we wanted to recognize them individually.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag

    Wait until after the wedding is over when you are able to objectively assess their services. Only tip those who went above and beyond the call of duty. Don’t tip no shows, bad service or simply showing up to do their job, because you’re saying “thank you for treating us bad badly“. You would also give honest reviews on all platforms and deliver the tips or send them via Venmo.

    The catering usually includes an automatic tip called the gratuity. Bartenders and servers are paid hourly. But again if they were out of this world exceptional then make sure to tip them. Many say do not tip business owners but in many cases that would mean no one gets a tip that people say is expected/required.

    A sales manager works on commission so you wouldn’t tip them. All she is doing is selling you the space.

    A venue coordinator employed by them is only concerned with making sure the doors are unlocked, lights turned on, everyone leaves at a specific time, etc. They do not perform tasks that an independent day of coordinator will do for you.

    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    Make sure to tip all service and delivery people on the day of your wedding!! (Drivers, delivery / set-up crews, wait staff, bartenders, etc.) But for vendors like your photographer, you can wait until after your wedding to decide on your tip!

    Here's a helpful tipping guide that goes into everything in more detail:

    Exactly How Much To Tip Wedding Vendors: A Complete List

    • Reply
  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
    • Flag
    We're tipping the day of, as you would if you went to a restaurant or hair salon. The only exception may be the photographer since you'll be waiting for your pictures.
    As Stacey mentioned, we've been working with these vendors for months and can gauge their services to know who has gone above and beyond and who we've had to pull teeth to communicate with. We have the tips separated in envelopes with a thank you card and will give them to one of the groomsmen to hand out after the vendor completes the service (do your job, then get your tip). In the event something goes wrong, we have no problem with asking the groomsman to reduce the amount and we'll have cash on hand to add if any vendors do an extraordinary job the day of.
    I personally wouldn't give the sales manager a tip unless she has been critical in the process and earned something extra.
    • Reply
  • Jane
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Jane ·
    • Flag
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    I agree about the catering manager. I do believe those services should be covered in the cost of the venue, the service charge, etc. All the guides says to tip 15 to 20 percent if not included in the sales contract. I don't believe any large catering orders would NOT include a service/gratuity charge. Please someone correct me if I'm wrong.

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