I was definitely expecting stragglers with my group of friends, some of whom are notorious procrastinators (a part of their laid back charm). I set an initial deadline with a buffer for that reason. Then, when they didn't meet it, I told them the "real" deadline, which was now over a month ago. Currently it's 4.5 months (so there's still time! but it is getting close) until the event, and half my wedding party has ordered attire. The other half have not and don't yet have plans to do so.
I've made it as easy as possible after much back and forth and hearing everyone's issues. In the beginning, everyone was involved and had an opinion, lol. To make it easier I didn't choose a style or designer--only the color burgundy. I said off the rack is OK, though I'd like to see it first to make sure it goes with everyone else. I even offered to help financially (I did so privately, and with sensitivity), which was declined.
My big fear is that at the last minute they'll realize it's harder than they thought to find a nice bridesmaid dress and just drop out. That concerns me because I am at the point where I am planning lots of special surprises for our wedding party (I'm covering their lodging at a lake resort for the weekend, and planning a few little extras) as well as their gifts. That would be really hurtful towards me as well as a waste of money. So for now I'm trying to put off spending on that stuff as long as possible.
I reached out to one of my bridesmaids who hasn't ordered yet today and she was kind of annoyed that I brought it up, which makes me definitely not want to say anything again. I don't want to make it seem like this is the only thing I care about!
So my question is, when should I do a hard cut off and just assume that those who haven't found attire simply won't? The truth is, I'd be OK with the smaller group of girls that have already arranged for their attire being my only bridesmaids, and letting the other girls just be guests. The girls that have already invested are also the ones who are most involved in my day-to-day life (no surprise there) and are so helpful and sweet about everything. I'm really looking forward to planning our weekend together and don't want to be held back accounting for my friends who are not quite as committed. At the same time, I don't want to be rude here--I did ask them to be involved for a reason, and I don't want to damage my friendships with these girls!
Is there a way to politely offer the girls who haven't been as involved an "out" from bridesmaid duty, since they don't seem very into it? Or do you have any other advice on how to handle this without being an @$$hole?
