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Amanda
Dedicated October 2021

When to give a plus one

Amanda, on September 17, 2019 at 4:35 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 42
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So my FH and I have been redoing our guest list like crazy and we are already have a bigger list than my father (who is paying for the venue) is really happy with. We had to make a lot of cuts (i.e kids/children). Now we are at the dead lock of who to give plus ones to. Does every single person get a plus one? Or only if they are in a relationship? What is the proper way to decide who gets a plus one?

42 Comments

Latest activity by Maria, on September 23, 2019 at 12:15 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Plus ones are for single people. Those in relationships are social units and should always be invited together. Single people don't have to be given plus ones unless you want to. I personally would give a plus one to any single guest who is 1.) traveling for the wedding or 2.) won't know anyone else.

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  • Amanda
    Dedicated October 2021
    Amanda ·
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    It's a destination wedding. So everyone would be traveling.
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  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    Spouses and serious boyfriends/girlfriends should definitely be added to the guest list. For singles, I think that's really up to you. We only have a couple singles we're inviting, but they're friends with other people at the wedding (and we're having a small-ish wedding) so we won't be giving them plus ones. If they don't know anyone other than you or your FH, I would give them a plus one!
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated October 2021
    Amanda ·
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    Do you also think that age determines a plus one? Like 20/21 year old?
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  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    Not really, at least not in my opinion. We have singles in their 20's and singles in their 40's, it really just came down to who else they know/if they're in a serious relationship or not Smiley smile

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  • Yasmin
    Savvy September 2019
    Yasmin ·
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    Wow!!! This was such an incredible comment. I just had to stop and let you know. Thank you for sharing your knowledge on the matter.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I would never expect someone to travel alone to a destination wedding.

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  • Amanda
    Dedicated October 2021
    Amanda ·
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    They are coworkers of my FH. They would be a group of friends so they would all be traveling together. Thats why i didn't know if they needed plus ones.
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  • Erin
    VIP December 2020
    Erin ·
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    The only person who is not married who is getting a plus 1 to my wedding is my brother. If having someone there with him keeps him from starting a fight at my wedding over politics, I’m all for it. Other than that, no one is getting one.

    But I believe the general rule of thumb is serious relationships (I.e together for 1 year+) should be invited together, otherwise it’s not a requirement.
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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    We gave plus ones to my husband's friends. I think it was about 3 guys (our max guest count could only be 75 ppl). The single guys had been 5 when we made our guest list but by the time we sent out our invites, 2 were in relationships. None of the 3 single guys brought a date. So you may extend a plus one to someone and they might not take you up on the offer anyway.
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated October 2021
    Amanda ·
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    Thats true too. Not everyone wants to have to pay for a plus one when your traveling. So that's definitely an option to extend the courtesy.
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated October 2021
    Amanda ·
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    Thank you. Yes, that was what i thought it was as well. But everyone has had a different opinion when i asked friends and family.
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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    Yeah our wedding was local and they still didn't bring dates. I would speak with your FH. He probably knows if these guys would be offended if they weren't invited with a guest.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    In that case, I think it's fine to not give them plus ones. They will know and have each other to hang out with at the wedding. So, no plus ones needed!

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  • Megan
    Expert October 2019
    Megan ·
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    Almost all of our guests know each other, so single people didnt get a plus one (just a cost we couldnt incur) but all couples were invited together.
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  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    I don’t like ➕1s.

    That is a spot that could go to someone that we actually know and want to share my day with.
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated October 2021
    Amanda ·
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    I kinda feel the same. Especially if it's someone you don't know or never met. I want people to be there who know us as a couple and we know and have a special relationship with them too.
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  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    Exactly! I got very salty one day at work, when one of my co-workers was asking about bringing some guy. She had just gotten serious, but I wasn't going to give her a ➕1 over a year before the Wedding.

    She’s not with him now and my Wedding is on Saturday.
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  • Alyssa
    Super December 2021
    Alyssa ·
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    I traveled alone as a bridesmaid to my best friends wedding in Germany 2 years ago.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    That’s great, but that doesn’t mean that everyone enjoys traveling alone.
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