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Super October 2020

When to cut out unresponsive bridesmaid

Emma, on August 17, 2020 at 2:23 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 29
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If you’ve seen my past post, you’ve seen that I have one bridesmaid that has avoided all talk about my wedding. The wedding is in 46 days, she hasn’t picked a dress, she has not even tried on a dress. We are using azazie. Right now it says the latest the dress would be delivered is September 17th. Meaning she will not have time to even order a sample dress before buying one. The last time I tried talking to her about it was July 5th and I haven’t heard anything from her at all. Not even regular conversation. I’m 90% sure she blocked me on Facebook messenger (her preferred contact method) and I don’t even know if she’s been getting my text/calls. Thing would be different if she would have communicated with me. I told her if she felt uncomfortable because of covid to let me know and I’d understand. I have even offered to pay for the dress. Still haven’t heard anything back at all.


Anyway, I’m just trying to figure out how to word (and when to send) it to tell her I am having her step down as a bridesmaid, but she is most definitely still invited as a guest!

29 Comments

Latest activity by Tamika, on August 24, 2020 at 8:29 PM
  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    I should add that my shower was Last Saturday. She said she’d be there, rsvpd and everything, and then never showed up without an explanation.
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  • Rachel
    Savvy August 2020
    Rachel ·
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    Hey Emma . I actually had the same problem with one of my bridesmaids. She wouldn’t text me back nor call me back. I actually saw her out in public one day and she no choice but to talk. But long story short she is no longer in my wedding. I think you should just go on with the bridesmaids you have because if she really cared or was your friend she would at least tell you she doesn’t want to be in your wedding.
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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    So I should just send her a messages saying she’s no longer needed as a bridesmaid? I just don’t know how to word it.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I agree with Rachel. That's a long time for her to just not respond. I suggest focusing on the bridesmaids that you have who do respond and who do show an interest in being there for you. If you wanted to, you could maybe send one more message to her and say something along the lines of, "I haven't heard from you, and you haven't been responding to my messages. Are you still interested in being involved with my wedding? If I don't hear from you by [date], I will unfortunately have to remove you from the wedding party." If she responds, she should give you some sort of explanation and/or change her behavior. Otherwise, I would count her out.
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    If she blocked you, you can try to send a message if you want. One of my previous bridesmaids blocked me on messenger too ( her preferred way to talk). We haven't spoken in almost a year.

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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    I honestly don’t know how to tell if I’m blocked or not. We’re still friends on FB but her icon is gone in messenger
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    Oh ok. My friend deleted me as a friend too and when I went to find her profile I couldn't find and neither could my best friend or FH so we assume she blocked all of us. One of my cousins found her page eventually and it had a post about how good it felt to block people aka me... so that's how I found out.

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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    Oh I would hate that!
    I just sent her a message asking if she’s been getting my messages. If she doesn’t respond by Wednesday I’m going to message/text her again and let her know she’s no longer in the bridal party. At that point the dress wouldn’t even be here till September 20th without shipping delays which have been happening quite a bit here
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    I think that is reasonable. I wouldn't expect a response back if you have to message her on Wednesday.

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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    FH said just to let it go and don’t plan on her being there at all. She hasn’t said anything since we sent the invites, she wasn’t at the shower, and she hasn’t said anything regarding the dress. I just I’m just trying to stay hopefully but should really give it up
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    Did she RSVP for the wedding?

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  • FAWN
    Dedicated October 2020
    FAWN ·
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    i had 3 bridesmaids.... my future sister in law, my step sister and my sister... my sister made no effort to join conversations etc. then we got into a verbal altercation because of mis interpretation. She called me an embarrassment.... guess what? my own sister is not in our wedding any longer she was replaced by my teenage daughter and have not heard from her since. ... so im not sad just another day. There is always a replacement!!!

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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    She has not! Rsvp date is the 31st though
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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    In all honesty her not being there will make us even. My FH brother was supposed to be a groomsmen but he’s not coming now (for petty AF reasons) so his side is now just his sister and his friend. If this bridesmaid doesn’t come then it would just be my sisters and my best friend so
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    Yeah, I know my bridal party was like the first to RSVP. But I'm thinking she is out. I would let it go and move on.

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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    That’s what I’m thinking. I’ll give her one last change Wednesday but after that, I’m over it and she’s out.
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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    I’d just chalk her up to a decline without the actual words and move on. You’ve reached out countless times and tried and tried again. I honestly wouldn’t even waste time on trying to contact her anymore especially when she’s clearly made no effort to reach out to you.


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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    Part of me wants to do that, the other part of me feels like I need to say something to her to let her know.....though it’s not like she’s let me know ANYTHING wedding wise over the past like 5 months!
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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    I get it. You have to do what feels right for you and maybe saying it to her (via letter, text, messenger) will give you the closure you need.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I do agree that not having talked to her for 1.5 months is quite a bit of time!

    and that is kind of messed up of her to not show up or explain her no show for the shower.

    you know even though that's the timeline for azazie there is rush shipment available or she could find the dress used. so i think i would probably extend an olive branch by just trying to message one last time like hey i hope you can still make it to the wedding, etc haven't hear from you in a while so wanted to check if you're alright

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