When to ask bridesmaids!

YES

Wait until at least 12 months out, maybe even closer to 10 if it's not a destination for them. A LOT can happen in three years...

Yes. I think a lot could change in 3 years. Also, you may want to consider the other expenses/timelines in your life, you may find that 3 years is a long time to wait to get married if the delay is solely to save up for a grand wedding.

Most brides I know are in their twenties, and a lot changes in those years

You should definitely wait until about 9 to 12 months before to actually ask them. They will still be more than excited to do it, but other than creating and saving for a budget, I wouldn't worry about much of anything yet.

Wait until you are closer to your wedding. The general rule of them is about a year out, though some say 6-8 months. I definitely wouldn't ask until summer 2019 if that's your timeline. Things can change a lot in 2 years.

Now is too early. 6-8 months is fine.

Definitely wait. I asked 4 people 11 months out, and honestly, if I had waited until 6-8 months out, I probably would have only asked 3. Things change, the longer you wait, the less chance for drama.

There's going to be another election by the time you're ready to get married. YES it's way too early for everything really.

I know it is early and i kind of figured i probably shouldnt ask them so early. Right now i just really need to focus on saving. Unfortunately, the only reason why we cant get married lets say next year or even 2019 is because of financial reasons. I think we will most likely have to save up and pay for it on our own. I just feel a bit sad because i really really wanna marry this guy and i dont think we will have enough money to get married sooner than 2020. We have already been together almost 5 years and im really ready to get married to him but we just dont have the money to get married within the year or two like we want to unless we do some serious saving! Any tips for how to save, budget, cut down on cost?

You can have a private ceremony with just immediate family/close friends. Or you can just elope and hold a reception later. You don't have to have a large, expensive wedding to get married. If the marriage is more important, just go down to the courthouse.

You need to wait several years.

Not only is it too early, but your bridesmaids won't be excited that long and you'll probably have that "my bridesmaids don't care" feeling. Definitely wait and I never say that. Three years is very long, so much can change.

It good that you're thinking about finances practically! Keep in mind that you shouldn't feel obligated to have a big wedding if that's not what you want most. I got engaged in March and have a short 6 month engagement - we're essentially inviting only immediate family, best friends and our guest's SOs. I couldn't even wait a year for next spring to get married. The only reason I brought up this side issue with the long engagement is because I'm in my mid-twenties. I have certain life goals I'd like to hit in the next 5-7 years, including putting down 20% for a nice house, having kids, etc. I can't afford to save and wait 3 years just for my wedding.

Waaaaay too early....if any of them or OOT then 1 year. 6-8 months for anyone else

As for budgeting, I don't know what your situation is but see if you and FI can each put aside $250 a month. That's $500 total and $6000 in a year. Even starting from scratch, you can save up $12,000 in two years which would make a doable wedding for ~100 people unless you live somewhere very expensive

Jenny B, i really do not want a big fancy wedding. Im pretty modest and we want to have something small....with only maybe 50 guests..but we are finding that a lot of places are really expensive even for 50 guests. Im only in my early twenties so i dont mind waiting.. I love my fiance enough to wait however long it takes....but at the same time, i really would like it to be sooner than three years.. if we cant, then i will wait! But i keep telling my fiance i wish we could get married sooner. I know most weddings cost at LEAST 10 grand by the time you are done with ceremony and reception fees, food, bar, attire, flowers, photography, DJ, etc!

@jenny I don't think that's practical advice though I know you mean well. We don't know her finances, so assuming 250 is doable may not be the case. It's going to take 3 years for a reason, so trying to get her to save $12,000 in two probably isn't feasible. Also, I wish I could do a 12k wedding lol.

Jenny B, we got engaged in January and already have $1200 which is a good start. I would like to have enough by 2019 if possible.

We want to have a wedding under 10 grand if possible

Fight the urge to ask them! I know it's going to be hard but for real most people end up regretting asking too soon!

Katelyn, where are you getting married?