When guests don't show

As best as we can tell, we ended up with about 10-12 no shows. At first the $$ part really pissed me off but then I realized it would have been spent had they been there so I got over that fairly quick. A few gave good excuses, but 2 people in particular really stuck with me mostly because them being invited in the first place and issues with their RSVP caused a really big argument between my father and I. This person was a random distant family member that I don't even know and for reasons I still don't understand my father was ADAMANT that she needed to be invited. Whatever. I can say he was really REALLY pissed she didn't show with her beloved date and he called her out in it since he went to such great lengths for her to be there. All she could come up with was "something came up." Eh, whatever, I'll likely never see her again anyway, but it gave me a tiny bit of satisfaction after the fact since my dad thought I was so wrong about not wanting to invite her in the first place

Two things that upset me were no show with no reason/contact and people who we've given very generous gifts to who didn't get us even a small gift. The gifts actually bothered me more than anything else. My planner said to give it time, that gift will still come, but some of these people I was truly shocked by.

So far one person has reached out. I would feel alot better about things if some contact was made either before or after. I think it is just rude to say nothing at all. I understand things come up, sickness or a babysitter bails..all understandable. It was just very obvious during my first dance I look over and see an empty table...and I worked FOREVER on my seating chart so I knew exactly who was missing and it made me sad. But oh well...I thank everyone for sharing your stories, I am glad my feelings aren't "wrong".

Why don't people call people out if they were rude enough to be a no show. People are too non confrontational about stuff that matters.

To be honest, I never thought of this. I'm glad you started a thread because it allows me to prepare myself mentally for the shit that could come up the day of the wedding.

I wouldn't say we had no shows. We had a handful of cancellations at the beginning of the week of the wedding. Some of my family as well as DH's uncle were due to drive in from Ohio but they were expecting a big snowstorm so they let us know at the beginning of the week that they couldn't make it. We didn't lose any money because our venue didn't require final numbers until the week of and I underestimated by a few just in case anyone else couldn't make it (speaking with the hotel I knew that they would prepare a few extra meals so it wouldn't be a huge issue and we would have just given them the difference if needed).

The one person I still have an issue with is one of my cousins. He never bothered sending in his RSVP. I tried calling him, texting him and messaging him and he never responded. (One top of that, he managed the restaurant his sister worked at and told her she could have the night off so she RSVPed yes and then a week before the wedding told her she had to work anyway). Needless to say, I have decided that if he gets married I won't be making an effort to attend. Right now, he and his GF are going to have a baby and I decided that I won't be attending the baby shower. I am not normally like this but he has not attended anything he is invited to by anyone in the family. No weddings, no birthdays (meaning the "big ones" like my mother's 50th bday party). I feel like he doesn't care to be involved in anyone else's celebrations he shouldn't expect anyone to celebrate with him.