When do you sign the Marriage Certificate? kind of a vent as well.

That's a bit much. I've never heard of signing the paper in front of people. I only saw it when I was a bridesmaid and was asked to hold her cranky toddler while the couple signed it. 🤣

I’ve only seen one signed & it was quite a dilemma. I was MOH to my friend. Well right before the wedding we went into a room to sign the marriage license - well the officiant wasn’t used to PA certificates & told her that the license wasn’t complete (I believe he thought it should be a copy or something). The bride started crying (this was literally 10 mins before she was suppose to walk down the aisle Finally someone who knows PA license was like no, your good & showed the officiant what he was doing wrong). The signed the certificate & we had to fix the brides makeup. Most ppl didn’t know, but the wedding started 20 mins later than it was suppose too & quite a few ppl saw the bride before she walked down the aisle bc of drama.

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Thank you. And what you described is exactly how we have felt when it comes to the paperwork.

I have been asked over 100 times what she should wear in some shape or form. Whether its a picture of a dress or asking about colors? She even got upset at who I am having do my hair and makeup (and anyone who wants their hair and make up done by someone) and said well "it might be good enough for her (as in me), but what am I supposed to do"

I don't get it, we haven't asked them to pay for anything. They've offered, but it's only when they haven't agreed with something we are doing, to try to see if they can get their way. Which hasn't happened yet, because even if we were to accept, I worry that they wouldn't pay and I would be stuck with the bill for a vendor I didn't want in the first place.

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You're making the commitment to each other in front of your family and friends through your ceremony, regardless of where the paper gets signed. How is that deceitful?

What about gay and lesbian weddings where two individuals were committing to each other ceremonially before they were legally allowed to do so? Were those deceitful because they wouldn't be legally married at the end of the day?

We're taking care of the paperwork signing a month before our wedding day, but our wedding is when we will truly emotionally and spiritually 'tie the knot' with each other. The legal bit is just checking a box.

The only people who need to be involved in the legal aspect of marriage are the couple, someone duly licensed to solemnize the legal aspect of marriage (it will be a judge in our case) and a witness if required by law (which it isn't, where we live).

I've never witnessed the signing of documents, and have always considered the wedding day the wedding (I've been to about 15 weddings in my life). FMIL is being dramatic for attention. Especially since you're going out of state, what if one of the documents got lost or damaged? Just sign them before you leave and keep them safe at home. It is YOUR day, so you do the ceremony how you want.

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Same sex marriages are quite obviously a different situation since 4 years and one day ago they were illegal. No one attended a same sex ceremony under the impression that the couple would be legally wed at the end of the day. I went to at least 5 same sex commitment ceremonies before same sex marriage was legal and never once did I think that the couple was actually getting married.

I think it's wrong (and didn't the OP ask for opinions?) to tell your guests that they are attending your wedding and then legally get married on a different day. You can "emotionally and spiritually" feel married on that day, but until the marriage license is signed, you're not married. There have been several posts here on WW from friends and family members who were under the impression that they were attending a wedding, only to find out that the couple had been married for a week, a month, or 4 years before the wedding. There is, in fact, a difference between a commitment ceremony and a wedding. The government doesn't care if you feel married, they care that you signed a marriage license.

We signed it at the county clerk when we picked it up. I don’t know when the officiant or the witnesses signed it. I remembered it about half way through the reception and went over and asked about it. The officiant said he had it and it was all taken care of.

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I agree with all of this, just tell FMIL that the norm is to sign the certificate whenever and what makes it legal is performing the ceremony, the officiant mailing it in, then the county recording the marriage. Sign it whenever you want.

We actually didn't even sign ours - our county eliminated this so the officiant signs and mails in. That was super weird to us, but, okay.

As for the other stuff - good luck... She sounds like it's all about her! And good for you for being smart enough to not "accept" money that isn't paid/ seen or not in your bank account!

I agree with half the posts on here. I have NEVER seen any bride/groom sign any papers after the ceremony. Maybe they do it in private? I didn't even know this was something that had to be done.

I do not think it is being deceitful. You do whatever you need to do to make it easier for you guys. Don't try to please anyone.

Tell your future mother in law less. A lot less. And respond to her less. Back off in general. She's pushy and overly involved in what strictly your business.

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She doesn't get much info to begin with. Fiance casually mentioned it cause he didn't think it was a big deal. Just that we know to make it legal it's something that has to be done. It takes time to mail it in and process it. So not even until then I can really even start the name change process either. We have already been living together for a long time now, in some states we are already common law married. But, our state doesn't recognize them. That and we can now afford how we want to do it.

We got married on June 16th and signed it June 16th at the wedding. Our officiant was the witness and also filed our paperwork. I picture most people do it there as it's convenient whether others see them do it or not.

You signing the certificate does not mean you are married. some officiants/pastors have the couple sign at the rehearsal bc the actual day of there's so much going on. the officiant/pastor will sign it the day of, making that the legal wedding date.

Never mind, my point's already been covered.

I officiate weddings in Virginia and am not sure of the laws in your state but the couple does not sign the license here, only the officiant does that. In my FW and my case we will have an elopement with our sons on our anniversary, making that our official wedding anniversary as well. We plan to celebrate with friends and family a couple of days later (because it is the first Saturday) with a symbolic handfasting. Destination couples get legally married all the time, then come back to celebrate with loved ones. If the legality is more important to her than the day you and your fiancé have planned, then it doesn't sound like she is there to celebrate you.