When do you sign the Marriage Certificate? kind of a vent as well.

I think it's deceitful to tell your friends and family that they're there to watch you get married and not actually get married that day.

I've never seen anyone sign a marriage certificate at their wedding (we've been to about 10) so even if they did it, we didn't see it as guests. I wouldn't care at all if you signed it before or after.

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I completely understand your viewpoint. When are you and your fiance signing yours? That is kind of our struggle. We also know that we wouldn't want our whole family separating to watch us sign the document as well. Its not a huge wedding, so that would feel exclusionary to the other guests. That's why we are even thinking of signing it in the morning.

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We will probably sign it right after the ceremony. I don't think it needs to be a big to do with all of your friends and family there to watch, but I do think that it should be done that day.

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Ok. I can see that. FMIL made it sound like I had excluded a big to do on the wedding day for the immediate family. Since I have never seen when people do the signing at other weddings.

I don't see why it matters when you sign it as long as it's signed. or why it matters who watches you sign it. the point of your wedding is for those to witness your vows and union and that doesn't necessarily involve the marriage certificate. however our officiant did say that instead of a unity thing like candles or sand, some people opt to just take a moment during the ceremony and sign it. i hated that idea though because it sounds awkward aha but that's something you can consider if you want.

I'm going to a family wedding and until reading this post I never put any thought into whether or not I'd be seeing them sign the legal documents or when they'd be doing that at all. In my opinion, if I'm watching the ceremony, then I am watching you get married

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Yeah I wouldn't want to sign it in front of a lot of people. Not even FMIL. My parents are the ones who suggested signing it early so that if things go wrong on the day we wouldn't be as stressed.

I’ve also been to a several weddings and have never actually seen anyone sign their marriage certificate. While some of my friends signed it the same day ( before or after the ceremony with no fanfare or big production), some signed it the day before. I think it’s completely normal either way.

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I've never thought of when the certificate was signed until doing my own wedding.

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I actually signed mine the day before at rehearsal. we honestly didn't want to worry about paperwork on our wedding day. so many things will happen on that day and you'll be pulled in so many directions it's nice not to have to worry about another thing

My fiance and I are signing ours a few days ahead. I didnt think there are people out there who get worked up about what actual day people sign the paper. What's more important to us is the day we declare our vows to each other, not the day we make it legal to the government lol.

I've seen weddings where people signed it in front of everyone and weddings where people didnt. I guess it really depends on your crowd

When you say you might sign it before the wedding does that mean you'd basically be doing a small courthouse wedding before the ceremony? Because I don't think you can sign it before you're actually married. At the weddings I've been to the bride and groom sign the papers with the officiant right after the ceremony but it's usually just the bridal party around to see it. I don't think it needs to be a big giant event that all your friends and family need to see. But also it's not something that takes that long to do so I don't think it really takes that much time out of your day to do it day of. I'm not sure of all the paperwork involved when you're getting married in a different state than the one you live in though.

I've been to many weddings in my life, and even been in several as a bridesmaid. I've never once seen the couple sign the paperwork. Maybe it's just a California thing, but there isn't a big to-do with family and friends present at the signing of the paperwork. What I've seen most often is after the ceremony, the couple and the officiant go off alone somewhere to sign. I was even in my sister's wedding, and then a few years later, my brother's. I never saw them sign the paperwork.

I don't know where your FMIL got her ideas from, but this is not a thing, and don't let her make you feel guilty or bad for not wanting to make a big production out of this. The wedding is the big production.

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No, just the officiant and us signing it before and in an envelope to mail to where it needs to go, so it doesn't get lost throughout the day. It will be our friend who is officiating the ceremony. And it doesn't cost too much to officiate in the state we are getting married in, but these are details we haven't focused on until his mom made a big deal of it. We were just like okay sign the paperwork to get it out of the way.

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That's what I thought. I don't even know why she wants to be there so bad. When we got engaged she wasn't thrilled about it. Even though we were dating for seven years.

We signed ours right after the ceremony before photos. It took 2 minutes, wasn’t a huge deal.

Best man for some reason was using husband’s back as a table to sign it, despite there being 10 other tables around him 🤦🏻‍♀️ Lol

When I got married we didn't sign anything. We signed the application for the license at the county office but that was it. I have no idea if a witness was necessary for signing either.

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That's hilarious!

I've been to quite a few weddings, and in a few bridal parties, and I'm in a very religious circle of people. Never have I seen my friends or family sign the paper work, or even mention it really. It's just paperwork. If it's easier to do a few days before or after, then do it, I don't think it's deceitful in any way unless you were to sign it a few months before or something and acting like a married couple and going "we're already married, yay!" which you are not at all doing. Heck, I might even do it a few weeks early so I can get my license and anything that needs changed changed before my honeymoon, I know the kind of person I am and all I'll be thinking about is my checklist of things to change if I wait to deal with it until after I'm back. What's the big deal? If anybody is taking the time to ask you when you're signing papers, that's just weird.
Every family has something different they think is normal at weddings that maybe just isn't. Tell her this is completely normal, apologize that it isn't matching the tradition her family seems to have in place but that's just not something you can reasonably do, tell her you'd love to involve the tradition otherwise but it just won't work. Mention that in most weddings, signing the paperwork with everyone is not a thing, and you are reserving titles and the emotion of "being married" until after the ceremony, as that's what matters to you.

I'm sorry she's so focused on herself. My grandmothers acting the same way your FMIL is, all she talks about is her involvement and what kind of dress shes "allowed" to wear, I can't imagine if she was someone more closely involved.