April
Just Said Yes October 2020

When are out-of-state guests likely to arrive, day of or night before?

April, on November 18, 2019 at 7:43 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
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So we are planning small wedding of 40-50 guests for next October at a beautiful luxury inn setting on the lake, near my hometown. Most of our friends and family will either be traveling by car, 5-6 hours or by air on flights that range from 2-5 hours. The wedding will begin around 4:30/5:00 on a Friday. Do you think these guests will travel the night before the wedding after work or early the morning of the wedding?


I am just trying to figure out room blocks for one - two nights. We can block two nights but since 10 of the rooms we are required to book at the inn to use it as our venue the night of the wedding, are around $400 with tax per night, we were planning on paying down the room cost to $200/guest room so our guests actually want to stay there and don't have to pay a fortune. That is $2000 for us already, which is basically our venue fee we are justifying it as. I'm concerned if they need two nights, they will not want to pay the first full price night and will use that as a reason to book at a local hotel (which is 30 minutes away with no ubers in this area). If many don't book the rooms, we will be stuck paying the full price of all 10 rooms on Friday night, regardless if they are empty or not and we are already splurging on over the top food for our small guest count. They could stay one night somewhere more affordable and move into the inn rooms on Friday, but then it seems odd to ask them to make it that complicated and also the 11;00 check out - 3:00pm check in time window where they would be in limbo. This is definitely a destination, luxury venue and I know our guests will enjoy it but do not expect them to pay full price/night. I just want to get opinions on if you think most guests will need two nights? And should we just suck it up and pay to subsidize their rooms for thursday night as well? We would also be inviting guests to a welcome/rehearsal dinner on the property if they arrive the night before.

11 Comments

  • Erin
    Super June 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag

    The majority of my guests will have to fly in as they're all on the east coast and the wedding is in Colorado (where I live). I'm expecting most will fly in at least the night before, because air travel is notoriously unreliable. If your guests are driving in it's a toss up. Is the wedding in the evening or earlier in the day?

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  • R
    Devoted September 2018
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    This would be really difficult for us to estimate for you. Try asking some of your nearest and dearest what their plans are. Be careful about sharing your subsidy up front though until you are certain you can offer it to anyone you mention it to.


    A number of family members had to travel for my wedding. Many of them could only arrive day of or night before the wedding because they had limited vacation available, and I had a Saturday wedding in September. All comes down to what kind of jobs your guests have, their budgets and how much they actually want to visit this remote luxury location you’re asking them to travel to.
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  • Kelsi
    Dedicated June 2020
    Kelsi ·
    • Flag
    My family is flying from out of state. After weeks of doing research and booking shuttles...they’re getting an Air B&B. Long story short: I wouldn’t rely on your guests booking into your designated hotel as they may not go the way you want.
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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I had some friends actually arrive the day of and some arrive the night before
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  • April
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    April ·
    • Flag

    Thanks for the advice! I am not sure I should rely on guests to book up all 10 rooms the night of. I think many will being our nearest and dearest in a rural area but there is the chance they could get air bnbs. I'm not obligated to pay for all 10 rooms the night before like I am the night of the event. Whatever rooms are not booked for the first night of the block will be released 60 days before the date. The ceremony will be later, around 5pm giving the drivers enough time to arrive a settle in if they plan it well. I guess if only half of the guests come the day before, it wont be so bad to subsidize 5 rooms.

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  • A
    Devoted May 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    Most people are traveling for our wedding about the same distances as you said. I would say as of right now 95% are staying two nights.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    Almost all of our out of state guests came in the night before (Friday night). But we blocked rooms Thursday night - Sunday night.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Just about all of our out-of-town guests are going to arrive the day/night before!

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  • J
    Super April 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    When we traveled for a wedding across the state earlier this year, we stayed two nights! I prefer to get there early so I have time to get ready the day of!

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  • Ashley
    Expert November 2020
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    Our wedding is the day after Thanksgiving so we will likely have a mix. I say this, but so far everyone plans to arrive the day before even though it's Thanksgiving Day. To plan for this, we are having a rehearsal cocktail hour so it's more affordable and we can invite all our guests that will be in town for Thanksgiving as a way to say thank you for spending your holiday with us.

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  • Vicky
    Super January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag

    In this case I would arrive day of.

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